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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Are WE the CFs here or neighbours??

553 replies

TigersRoll · 16/04/2019 16:56

3 houses share our driveway (including ours). So you get the 1st house and then ours next to each other and then at the end you get the 3rd house. 3rd house is a big house and has a double driveway (prob enough room for 3 cars anyway). 1st and 2nd house have a tiny section of driveway each, ours been the smallest, barely big enough for one car.

Anyway, DH likes to faff with his car, our driveway is too small to do anything on so during the day when everyone is at work he pulls it into the shared bit. Occasionally he parks his work van on the shared bit but basically, if anything is on the shared bit, 3rd house can’t get to their driveway which is why DH does it when everyone is at work.

This worked well for ages, occasionally woman next door would come home early but would park at the top on the street and walk down. One time all of a sudden she came home at 11am (!) came storming down the driveway carrying a number of bags (she’s a nurse) and muttered something about so much for buying a house with a driveway”. DH was confused as she’s never mentioned it before but he moved his car straight away anyway.
A week or so later we had workmen at the house and they parked on the shared drive. She came home from worked, marched up to the workmen and told them they had to move. This meant packing up tools, ladders and various other stuff before reversing out of the drive just so she could park next to her house. As soon as she was in they moved everything back, low and behold they came out almost immediately and said they had to move as she was going out. They did, she went out and reappeared 15 minutes later again telling the workmen they had to move everything!!! Surely if she knew she was going back out she could have just parked at top of drive where there is tons of room??

Anyway she appears to be making a point of doing this now everytime DH has something on the shared driveway but has never actually spoken to him about it!

Last night we got an angry knock on the door. Her husband was stood there and he looked at our car and said “can you move it” in a really snappy tone. It’s a big car (Land Rover) and as our driveway is so small the arse of it sometimes sticks out into the shared bit. Unfortunately neighbour also has a Land Rover making getting past a bit of a squeeze. DH looked at the car and the space (as it was on our driveway) and the bloke snapped “I’m not scratching my car again trying to get past. Move it”. DH then had to move the car so it was practically touching our garage door. This bloke has always been very pleasant before so it seems so out of character!

AIBU to think his wife has started some kind of vendetta against us and roped him into it or is it our fault??

OP posts:
Erksum · 16/04/2019 20:21

👀

luckylavender · 16/04/2019 20:23

Sounds like your fault to me. Why should the neighbour have to park elsewhere but you can always have it your own way. The

SkaTastic · 16/04/2019 20:28

YABU and I would absolutely hate to live next door to you. Keep your cars, husband's van, any work men, and any other shit off property that doesn't belong to you and stop acting like an arsehole.

BrilliantYou · 16/04/2019 20:29

YABU

On the odd occasion (which actually sounds more like a regular occurrence from what you've said) it would be polite to ask your neighbour first before assuming that they won't want to leave or return to their own home when they choose! Same for the vans belonging to tradesmen, you should have asked your neighbour first. She's a nurse so won't work 9-5!!

Don't know why you'd buy a car you can't fit on your drive!!

You either need to apologise to your neighbour and stop parking on their drive/blocking their drive or move house to somewhere that can accommodate your car/give your husband some space to work on the car!

AlexaAmbidextra · 16/04/2019 20:36

Sounds like they’ve had enough of you taking the piss and have finally snapped. This is what happens when your entitlement causes you to act with no consideration for others.

LetsSplashMummy · 16/04/2019 20:38

This thread is really a lesson in taking other people's niceness for granted. Their "let the minor annoyances slide to keep good neighbourly relations," was seen by the twatty DH as there being no problem.

So you saw no reason not to buy a car too big for the space and became a frequent annoyance, but there still wasn't much they could do, you could hardly return the car, so they bit their tongue some more.

Then he got all pissy and stupid about a plant pot...

Honestly, it shows that we should find ways to discuss minor annoyances without falling out, so it doesn't escalate like this. I am a total tongue biter/endurer and it is really useful to be reminded it doesn't work both ways.

CandleWithHair · 16/04/2019 20:42

@TigersRoll please give this thread to your DH to read

Omzlas · 16/04/2019 20:53

Your DH has been pulling this shit for 8 years????

HE is a CF, he needs to learn how to park correctly and not block access for other neighbours

TheFirstRuleOfFightClub · 16/04/2019 20:55

I had neighbours like you once. I moved before I actually killed them, selfish fucking bastards they were. Karma usually gets you though.

UnicornsandRainbows1 · 16/04/2019 21:01

I'm still trying to work out how you think it's absolutely fine to basically have the garage filled up with tools and crap instead of at least TRYING to clear it out for the large car in an attempt to see if it makes things better.

8 years? You haven't tried to sort this out for 8 fucking years? I can see why your neighbours are at the end of their tether with you both!

Imagine being in house 3 and needing the emergency services and you can't get help because they're trapped behind you're neighbour's car and something god awful happens as a result. That is essentially what could happen to them at some point.

Your cockwomble of a husband needs to A) get a smaller vehicle if it doesn't fit. B) accept that he's going to have to park what he has now close to the garage door. C) not take his big fuckoff van home with him.

He's allowed to have a hobby but he also needs to think.

Smelborp · 16/04/2019 21:01

So it’s clear you are the CFs.

Are you going to stop?

bebeboeuf · 16/04/2019 21:02

Now you are aware of you and your DH’s CFery ways will you change and apologise for the previous 8 years of imposition or go back to blocking the neighbours in as and when you fancy it?

yolofish · 16/04/2019 21:05

well, if the neighbour's house catches fire, the fire service will simply bulldoze you and your CF DH multiple vehicles out of the way... so perhaps you and he might consider that a bit of an inconvenience, and rethink your massive lack of consideration?

Waxlyrically · 16/04/2019 21:07

I have a shared drive. Visitors/workmen next door often block the access itself or the shared turning area meaning we have to reverse out onto a main road with poor visibility. The neighbours are nice enough and move if asked but I find it stressful to have to keep asking so YABU.

screamifyouwant · 16/04/2019 21:08

Oh OP I actually feel sorry for you the flaming you have got on here .
I think because they haven't said anything you and your dh are confused as you put it .
But FairPlay to you for coming back most are never heard from again after being shot down .
Any mumsnetter will tell you Never block someone's driveway .
I think you have got it now though after the 300+ comments Grin
I'd definitely try and sort it with the neighbours, perhaps explain to dh would he like it not having to be unable to get to his drive I'm sure he wouldn't.

IvanaPee · 16/04/2019 21:10

She hasn’t come back Confused

A couple of clarifying posts but that’s it!

Poloshot · 16/04/2019 21:14

You're the cheeky fucker expecting people to wait to pull onto their own drive all the time

SoupDragon · 16/04/2019 21:15

*She hasn’t come back^ Confused

Yes she did.

A couple of clarifying posts but that’s it!

One of which was Anyway I get the point, it’s us that’s the CFs and another that said she kind of thought he was being a twat. What exactly do you require her to say?

NicoAndTheNiners · 16/04/2019 21:18

And move your plant pot. You're not staking a plot in the Wild West. Your deeds show your boundary. A plant pot means nothing.

Claw01 · 16/04/2019 21:28

I didn’t see the OP’s update. I saw another poster mention plant pots and thought eh, scrolled back and still didn’t see it! Had to look twice.

Good on you OP, definitely try to convince your DH he is being a total plonker.

KnifeAngel · 16/04/2019 21:31

You would drive me crazy.

IC4nSeeYourPixels · 16/04/2019 21:32

But DH says it marks out our driveway boundary

What's the point when he doesn't stay within it and gets the hump at neighbours not asking his permission about when they can come and go from their own home.

If your car is smaller then he should be parking in the street. Or he gets rid of the tools and uses the garage to tinker with, or parks right up against the garage door, or rent a garage for his hobby. What he can't do is expect the neighbours in number to come and go based on his hobby or your workmen.

I've been on MN for over ten years now and have seen many many parking threads and your husband is the biggest cheeky selfish twat Re parking I've ever read. Does he really lack so much self awareness?

Show him this thread and let him see one hundred percent of people think he's the cheeky twat and. It the neighbour. That's practically unheard of for AIBU.

SevenStones · 16/04/2019 21:33

If I were your neighbour I'd drive up to where your car / van / landrover is parked on the drive. Then I'd park in front of it so you couldn't get out. Then I'd go on holiday for a fortnight.

mondaylisasmile · 16/04/2019 21:40

Another yabu here

Massively.

Stop blocking shared access ways - what's so hard to understand? You shouldn't even need to ask this on here?!?!?!

happierasleep · 16/04/2019 21:54

@IvanaPee we've got a live one!

 -brilliant!

@TigersRoll YABVU.