I apologise in advance as this is a long one.
I really think I’m not being UR but my DH says I am.
For a couple of weeks now we’ve known that my DH would be going to England for a meeting today (he left lastnight) to do with a side project of his, this meeting isn’t compulsory for him but he wants to go.
This normally wouldn’t be an issue. However I was annoyed he was insisting on going as it happens to be on a day when his two older DS’s will be here as well as the two very young children we have together (our eldest is 2).
This didn’t bother me too much as I get on really well with them, until he informed me that this meant he couldn’t take another day off from work this week to spend with his children. I was already fuming as in my opinion they/we should come first and I am not a Live in babysitter.
To top it off his mother, sister, brother and nephews are also up visiting right now and staying in our house making it a total of 11 people in a small 3 bedroom house! But no he still insists on going.
On Saturday I suddenly started getting terrible pains in my neck. I’m honestly in agony I can’t move without it hurting so badly I want to be sick.
As I’m breastfeeding there’s very little the dr could give me for it other then painkillers that aren’t doing anything much to help with the pain and a support collar that only helps some of the time.
I just kind of assumed he’d cancel to stay and help me here but he turned around and told me I have plenty help from my ILs,
His sister is lovely
And she has been a big help although she has a long standing health issue that means she can’t do too much and he knows as well as I do that his mother will and is doing as little as possible, when the pain was really bad and I had to lay down she came through and put my DS who is 7 months next to me and informed me he needed his nappy changed because she doesn’t do nappies now that he wiggles.
Regardless of the level of help I’m getting they are going home today. And I will be left alone here with the 4 DC until he returns some time in the small hours.
I can barely lift my baby let alone my toddler, I’m still in a huge amount of pain and now I’m beyond furious.
I’m actually considering ending the relationship as I obviously mean little beyond a live in babysitter and house keeper to him and how little nut you care about someone that you fick off down to England and leave them to look after your 4 children when they are in this much pain.
I can’t even lift DS out of his cot so he’s had to sleep in with me meaning that neither of us have slept well.
My mother is in disbelief. She’s very unwell right now and unable to help and she’s talking about asking my father to take time off of his work to help.
She says I should have demanded he stay here but tbh I really don’t think I should have to. I asked him to stay and all I got were grumpy comments about having plenty help thrown back at me when this really isn’t the case.
why should I have to demand? This is meant to be a partnership but it’s it’s not feeling like it at all right now.
AIBU to be this angry? To feel this unloved and unvalued?