Toddler night time waking

[belle40]

Hello,

This isn't really an AIBU but I would be grateful for some advice. My 3.5 yo child will not use a potty overnight without crying for me to be there beside them. I have just got out of bed for the 4th time in an hour and I am desperate for some help. Toileting is absolutely fine during the day. There are no bad dreams / night terrors etc but it seems as if the potty is being used as a mechanism for endless attention overnight. Does anyone have any experience of this? Many thanks!

They shouldn’t have to go overnight. Especially not 4 times. My daughter (same age) has only woke. A handful of times to use the toilet overnight since toilet training.
Is he actually going to the toilet when you take him?
Does he go to the toilet before bed as part of his bedtime routine?
Cut back on fluids late afternoon evening if it continues

If they’re getting up 4 times in an hour then they’re either drinking far too much in the evening, they’re not ready to be trained at night yet (not uncommon at 3.5, particularly for boys) or the waking is about something else and saying they need the loo ensures you get up with them.

My daughter has been calling out with excuses to delay sleep- hungry, thirsty, can’t find bear etc. it may just be an delay tactic

**‘...it seems as if the potty is being used as a mechanism for endless attention overnight’

I think you hit the nail on the head with this sentence op.
Needing to use the potty four times in an hour is not normal. Does he/she actually go every time? Is there a lot of urine each time? If yes, then you need to see a doctor as that would indicate a health issue, but if it’s only a little bit I suspect it is just a ploy to get you in there.

We had this with my daughter who is 2.5. I've put her back in nappies at night for now. She's never wet in the morning but it seems to have removed the excuse for getting up. She's still waking a bit when she didn't before but it's much better.

I agree with the "mechanism for attention". My DS is 2.5, dry day and night and though he doesn't do this at night, he will often ask for the potty when he doesn't need it. Dinner time is a common one. If he doesn't want to eat it he'll ask to use the potty because he knows that if he asks for the potty we always take him (obviously!). He doesn't do anything when he's on there. He's clingy to me so if I go to the toilet I'll hear him say to his dad "where's mommy, need wee wee potty" as he knows he'll be bought up. He doesn't do anything again, he just wants to see me.

As with other posters, he shouldn't really need it every night but even if he doesn't definitely not 4 times! I'd limit drinks before bedtime. Does he always go when he asks? How much is in there when he does? If he's genuinely needing to go then I would pop to the GP as it can be a sign of diabetes (unlikely I know but worthy checking out if he is weeing that much).

The only other thing I can suggest is maybe, when he uses the potty in the day, go with him but rather than being right by him, wait outside the door until he is finished so that he learns that mommy doesn't have to be right there everytime he uses the potty. Maybe he's used to you being there and he needs it as some form of security perhaps?

My 2.5 year old will insist she needs to sit on the potty whenever I'm asking her to do something she doesn't want to (like get in the bath or put her pyjamas on..). I'd also suspect it's a ploy for attention and tell your DC that if they're not big enough to use the potty quietly on their own then they aren't big enough to go without nappies in the night. Oh what a shame.. See if that helps? Or offer a reward for X number of nights in a row where they sort themselves out without waking you.

Be careful though, you don't want to make it seem like they can't wake you for something that actually needs your attention like a bed wet or spillage.

As PPs have said, unless they are actually weeing every time (in which case there may be a medical issue), it's most certainly a ploy.

My DS isn't potty trained but still shouts for me in the night to do a wee... Or to pretend he's done a poo... Or because he's hungry... Or thirsty... Or wants a hug... Or wants a story... Or to shout Ow when he hasn't actually hurt himself.

Thankyou all for your comments. I've removed the potty for tonight so I'll see how we get on with toilet before bed and again when I go to bed. Thanks again.

Nappies at night