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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - Massively stressed about DH

22 replies

thatsasmashingblouse · 15/04/2019 22:29

Name changed for this one
DH had a blow to the head three months ago and while it healed and a trip to a and e was not cause for concern, I think it’s started to all of a sudden affect him

He’s forgetting everything: and it has placed our kids in jeopardy potentially. Car seats not done up he’s driven off, he’s left one of them in the park and only realised when one of the others told him. Leaving keys in the door overnight, losing everything and anything.
He’s had funny turns and blacked out
He seems to zone out sometimes

He’s adamant there’s nothing wrong but I’m not so sure. In fact I’m worried sick. Relatives aren’t bothered, apparently he’s fine, what do I do

AIBU to demand another visit to the GP?

OP posts:
TheoriginalLEM · 15/04/2019 22:32

Absolutely get him seen

Evilspiritgin · 15/04/2019 22:32

I would say he needs to be seen again immediately if he is doing half of what you are saying he does, he could have a bleed or anything

Bagpuss5 · 15/04/2019 22:32

If it was me I would go to a/e in the hope it speeds up tests - he needs a brain scan -he'd get one through GP but if he plays it down it could be a long wait.

Sciurus83 · 15/04/2019 22:34

He really needs some scans, you have to insist

Babdoc · 15/04/2019 22:35

Yup, get him reassessed OP. Sounds like delayed concussion or a possible haematoma.

GrandmaSharksDentures · 15/04/2019 22:36

Have a google of "post concussion syndrome"

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 15/04/2019 22:37

Yes those symptoms following a head injury are worrying.

I wouldn't let him look after your kids or drive. I'd take him to a and e and see everyone with him so he cant minimise it

Good luck

Blackboot1 · 15/04/2019 22:40

That sounds extremely serious. I wouldn't be letting h8m look after the children or drive either.

hopeful31yrs · 15/04/2019 22:41

If he's blacked out he shouldn't be driving - let alone your DCs. I'd be asking him to inform the DVLA or I would. Then I'd drag him to the doctors for assessment.

hopeful31yrs · 15/04/2019 22:41

If he's blacked out he shouldn't be driving - let alone your DCs. I'd be asking him to inform the DVLA or I would. Then I'd drag him to the doctors for assessment.

Belle89 · 15/04/2019 22:44

As above post concussion syndrome. Symptoms are not always present straight after the concussion

justasking111 · 15/04/2019 22:54

Good advice here, take his car keys away he is not insured to drive now. Take him to the hospital.

HollowTalk · 15/04/2019 23:00

Definitely get him checked out. His relatives aren't seeing him as often as you.

Original poster
thatsasmashingblouse · 15/04/2019 23:03

Thank you everyone.
We have had several enormous arguments about it and I have begged his parents to support me but to no avail.
I’ve been doing the driving, and have taken his keys. He’s not driving the children anywhere.
I think he will fob the GP off if he goes on his own so I’m hammering him to get an appointment where I can come because I think he will actually refer him then and there for a scan. There was a nasty cut there and I do think it’s a falter reaction or problem of some sort. He’s markedly more distracted, forgetful and the keeling over thing was terrifying. I don’t understand why he’s not in agreement after all it’s his body.

I feel so angry and insulted that I’m apparently a nag and a drama queen for fearing the worst. I have been watching him like a hawk with the kids as I am so frightened something might happen.

If it was me I would have gone back to the doctor without all this

OP posts:
Original poster
thatsasmashingblouse · 15/04/2019 23:04

@hollow exactly they see him now and then whereas I see him every day. I felt like asking if they needed their heads examining tbh 🙄

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 15/04/2019 23:04

He hit his head
He s blacked out. Funny turns.
So get him to hospital for a scan.
Pretty clear cut....
(Do not continue to let him drive and black out while driving....)

Original poster
thatsasmashingblouse · 15/04/2019 23:08

I am not letting him drive as I just wrote

It’s not that easy dragging a big tall bloke off to a & e against his will but believe me I’ve tried

OP posts:
longtimelurkerhelen · 15/04/2019 23:22

Maybe he is scared and trying to block it out. I don't know how you can convince him though.

Try and get him to look up his symtoms online and try and speak calmly about how much you are worried.

Maybe say please go for me and the kids if not for his own sake, or just to put your mind at rest.

cestlavielife · 15/04/2019 23:23

Next time he blacks out Call 999

BlankTimes · 15/04/2019 23:32

You could go to the GP on your own, tell them everything you've written here, explain he's not willing to seek help himself and ask if there's anything they can do.
It's possible your GP's office could ring him to come in for some sort of test based on previous events, then whilst he's having that, asking him a few questions that may get him to open up in conversation with a view to them referring him for further tests.

HollyWoods8224 · 15/04/2019 23:35

When you say black out do you mean he physically passes out? Or does he black out in that he cant remember sections of the day?

If its the later maybe a therapist rather than a GP?
I know you're super stressed, is there anything you can do to reduce the stress generally in your house? (get a cleaner, babysitter for one night a week etc)

Leaving keys in the door, being forgetful - making it to the end of the day and forgetting half of it, arriving home and not remembering how I got there etc are all things I do when i'm too stressed. I take it as a sign that somethings gotta give.

HollowTalk · 16/04/2019 19:20

I'd make an appointment at the GP myself and tell him/her exactly what's happened.

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