To keep pregnancy quiet from everyone?

[namechangepregnant]

Name changed due to friends and relatives on here that know my normal name.

Last weekend I got my BFP! I’m trying not to get too excited as I’ve had a miscarriage and many chemicals in the past but DP and I are over the moon.

Since my last loss I’ve sort of had it in my head that we’d keep it as quiet as we can for as long as we can. Ideally I’d like to wait until after we find out the gender as by then we’d be past the “12 week safe to announce” by quite a bit and, for me, it would easier on me to announce at the same time as telling people the gender.

The thing that’s making me think hmm maybe IAB a tad U is this would be a blanket tell nobody, so not even parents. I know this would be hard on DP as he is close to his family but I just don’t want people knowing incase something bad happens and I know if his mums knows everyone will know as she likes to use everyone life as her entertaining gossip and can’t keep secrets. Hell be on board with whatever I decide but probably won’t be 100% happy about it.

I may change my mind, or decide not to wait so long, but right now that’s how I feel.

So Aibu to insist that we don’t tell anyone until I’m ready to?

Nope just don't tell any one until you are ready

After everything you've been through, YANBU. Your body, your choice. You may find that you feel comfortable telling select people earlier than the 20-week scan. I felt exactly the same (after a MC and a long long wait) but ended up telling family after 12-week scan and other people as and when. Some were after 20 weeks, but it was quite gradual and organic how I told various people - and obviously I never did a SM announcement.

Congratulations and good luck, whatever you decide x

Tell when you're ready.

In fact it's very common for many people to wait until at least the 12 week scan.

By 20 weeks I was massive so couldn't have hidden even if I wanted to.

However I'd definitely keep it a secret for as long as you can.

I told close friends and family from the start. As i figured if past history repeated its self id need and want their love and support. I announced at 18wks though. As a) I was showing b) I was so ill rumours where flying around as to why I was bed bound.

I feel I had left it a little late as people had mostly guessed. So took away some of the surprise and excitement in hind sight. But I was so ill and had high risk pregnancy I felt keeping it privaite made it more special & let me deal with things in my own bubble.

Totally reasonable. Whatever is best for you and your OH. It’s not anyone else’s business

I'm 16 weeks this Thursday and we just started to tell people the weekend just gone. Its definitely do-able! Wishing you all the best with your pregnancy!

Congratulations! Definitely do able to keep it quiet. I have had losses too and kept quiet until after the 20 week scan and then I felt pretty comfortable telling people. Good luck!

The only unreasonable thing here, is referring to the baby's gender rather than sex.

Other than that YANBU

I didn't tell anyone (other than DP and two close friends in an "oh shit I'm preggo what do I do" text) until after 20 weeks, didn't tell my work colleagues until I was 30 weeks, although how they didn't notice I'll never know.

Franky it's no one's business, just make sure to tell your employer before 25 weeks.