Why lie?

[Bananacloud]

The other night I asked my husband if he’d heard from a certain friend of his.
He said no.
Next day his sister asks him what this certain friend phoned him for.
He says “oh he’s just going on about boring family stuff”
So I asked him why he lied when I asked him and said “because he didn’t want to talk about him”

I find that a little odd and he thinks it’s normal.
So now we’ve created a joint post. We both would like your opinions. Thank you 😊

I guess your H is a frequent and casual liar. It's a deeply horrible and unpleasant trait.

It's odd. Why lie & if he lies about something so trivial, what else does he lie about ?

Team That's Quite Odd, unless there's a massive backstory you're not sharing about interrogating your DH about this particular person and he literally couldn't bear it to start up again!

Are you one of those people who asks a ton of questions?

I sometimes choose the option that will cut the conversation quickly if I feel like I'll get the third degree.

Why is everyone so interested in this pal anyway, what did he phone for

Odd
Also what else has he lied about? It takes practice to become an accomplished liar

Perhaps his friend told him something personal and he didn't want it shared?

Why would he lie? It seems a trivial thing to lie about. Is there a back story here?

Odd - and sneaky. Why lie? It’s just eroding trust for no reason. And it means you can never really trust him.

Is this friend confiding in your dh about something that makes him feel uncomfortable?

This would set me on red alert - HUSBAND IS A LIAR!

Odd to ask. I couldn't care less when dp last heard from his mates

Your DH is a liar and you sound like hard work

No this friend of his is one he actually doesn’t like anymore because he’s selfish and only thinks of himself.
But yes, he does lie quite a lot.

DH is a liar - can you believe anything he says?

Odd to lie, even odder to create a joint post on Mumsnet to canvas opinions.

Yeah and suppose I am hard work but only because I want the lying to stop

I'd now assume he white lies and covers up aaaalllllllll the time.

Not great. And not normal at all, OP's husband.

But why were you asking if he'd heard from the friend?

Saying 'no' when you can't be arsed to chat in this particular case, is a little white lie.

Honestly, is there anyone on this thread who has truly never told a white lie in their adult life, rather than explain they don't really want to talk about something mundane?

Is this certain friend God?

I don't think it was a lie in as much as a piece of conversation shorthand. If I had been asked the same question I might have said "Not really" - meaning "Nothing to report".

I often get asked "Any news?" - "No" when I'm too busy to talk, "Yes, DC1 has fallen out with schoolfriend A again and...." when I'm in the mood to chat.

"How are you?" - "Fine thanks, you?" ( A lie, I am not in the least fine but now is not the time to talk about it - and I don't care about you!!)

People will say these things are not the same as what your DH did but I doubt he is a horrible liar - just taking conversation shortcuts.

Sorry to add this in there but when my ex husband done this it turned out said friend knew a secret he’d threatened exh he’d tell me so when he asked if I’d heard from him he was shitting himself that I might know the secret

Oh X posted.

If he's a habitual liar then there's no point to the thread really OP.

You have your answer. YANBU.

Everyone tells the odd white lie from time to time.

White lying as default, on the other hand, isn't normal.

*I'd now assume he white lies and covers up aaaalllllllll the time.

Not great. And not normal at all, OP's husband.*

Honestly, is there anyone on this thread who has truly never told a white lie in their adult life, rather than explain they don't really want to talk about something mundane?

I can honestly say, hand on heart, I never lie to my husband. Including lies of omission - i ALWAYS tell him stuff.