To stop bf to have another child?

[Blueberrycheesecake1]

I am really sad to be stopping although my baby isn't even that young! (15mo).

We're down to 2 a day and I love it. I also use it sometimes at night (not often enough to worry about it) to soothe him if he is ill etc.

But I still haven't had a period and I am desperate for a 2nd. But feel so bad for stopping. It's also tough to start a new routine and not start the day with snuggles in bed - as I am having to get dressed quickly then down to kitchen.

I know it's not a big problem but am I doing this for a stupid reason (not even sure if fertility will come back??)

Of course YNBU.

Breastfeeding isn't an effective method of avoiding pregnancy, and you aren't meeting the criteria for when it actually works best anyway. So you could start trying to get pregnant and see how it goes, alongside breastfeeding.

YANBU, if you're down to two feeds and still no period it seems like you'll have to wean completely to TTC. I do feel you (fed DC1 for 2.75 years, still feeding 13mo DC2) but they'll survive just fine. You've got to balance up the needs and I'd say right now yours takes precedence - especially if you might be approaching an age where TTC may be more difficult/take longer.

I was similar, I was pregnant 5 weeks after stopping- I guessing it was quite a effective contraception for me

No period after 15 months! mine were back at 5 weeks each time despite ebf anyway yanbu

Thanks a lot for the kind and quick responses. We've been TTC for a while now so I think it is linked (but who knows!). Just very sad as would be happy to carry on for a while yet.

And it makes life easier if he is ill etc...

I could have written your post - DS is 21 months and still a boob fiend. We've had 2 cycles of IVF to try for a sibling so far but I've had a much reduced ovarian response and no success. I don't want to stop bf though, it's DS's favourite thing!

havelock it's tough! I am trying to think of how great it would be for my LO to have a sibling. To keep me focussed!

I found I had to give up to conceive DC2. I was having periods sometimes but it wasn't enough. Weaned at just before 15 months and it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I did feel a bit guilty though but I was pregnant within two months which I couldn't quite believe and DC1 is totally fine without the milk of course. Good luck whatever you decide!

I had to give up to conceive my second son, but my first son was 2.5 years so at an age where I didn’t feel too bad about it.

My first son was EBF and my periods still came back 5 months after his birth despite feeding him 24:7. My periods returned to their normal cycle so when we started TTC about 18 months after they’d returned I assumed I would get pregnant no problem.

However, 10 cycles of trying down the line and I still wasn’t pregnant.

My son was probably feeding about 2 times a day but never overnight.

I spoke to my GP who said that despite my son rarely feeding and the fact my cycles have been normal for almost two years, the fact I wasn’t falling pregnant was probably because I was still breastfeeding and advised I stop.

I took the advice on board and stopped breast feeding about a week later. My son did protest at first but I didn’t give in and then much to my joy I fell pregnant the next month.

If you want to help guarantee to have another child then YANBU.

I was still breastfeeding my first when i conceived my second - no period either. Modern miracle! I was down to just bf overnight and she soon gave up when I was pregnant - apparently it changes the flavour or something.

In exactly the same position with my 14 month old. I want to TTC another, especially as we were trying for 5 months for our first before it happened. I am back at work so have cut down to bedtime and night feeds only (usually twice). It's been a few months and no return of periods, so think I need to stop all together. We're looking at weaning him completely and had just started when he got poorly. Just waiting for him to recover fully then back at it. Dropping the bedtime feed will be hardest on him I think.

You gotta do what you gotta do.

I've been feeding 10 months, not a whiff of a period. I don't even think I want another one (he's my second) but I'd like to feel like i'm definitely fertile if you see what I mean.

Of course you could carry on breast feeding but it may bring up a couple of issues that you would need to think about. Firstly you would be asking your body to do another task, grow a baby, and produce milk. But further down the line, if your first was not weaned I think you could have some serious jealousy issues when you are feeding the new baby, who will be somewhat displaced anyway

DC1 hasn't yet stopped breastfeeding, pregnancy with DC2 made no difference at all. They have one side each for breastfeeding to avoid jealousy, and even though DC1 only feeds once a day now, my body has adapted and produces the right amount for each so I'm never lopsided or leaky.

Firstly you would be asking your body to do another task, grow a baby, and produce milk. But further down the line, if your first was not weaned I think you could have some serious jealousy issues when you are feeding the new baby, who will be somewhat displaced anyway

If you can conceive while BF, your body is of the "opinion" that you have sufficient resources to support both milk production and pregnancy. I won't say it isn't a lot sometimes (feeding + pregnancy nipple tenderness can be interesting) but plenty of people do it without issue. I did.

Secondly, pregnancy is nine months and many/most toddlers self wean during this time as the milk supply drops sharply and then changes back to colostrum. Even if OP's toddler didn't self wean then, OP could choose to encourage weaning during pregnancy if she didn't want to tandem feed. Or, you know, she could tandem feed, which works well for many people, and if anything minimises the chance of jealousy.

It seems like OP may need to wean to conceive which is totally her choice, but for someone who does ovulate and is fertile while feeding there's no need to borrow trouble by weaning before you want to.

Interesting to hear everyone's different stories. Thanks for sharing. I actually stopped this morning (waiting before dropping evening feed) and my breasts were so engorged it made me doubly think: what am I doing!

I was still breastfeeding when I conceived my 2nd child, and I had not had any periods either.

I stopped feeding DS1 at 13m to start preparing for #2. It was also around the time his CMPA was diagnosed.

I didn't have periods until 2 months after stopping BFing with either DC (DS2 was 20m when I stopped).

I'm in a similar situation but can't bring myself to cut down feeds yet. Really thought periods would return when I returned to work.

I fell pregnant whilst breastfeeding.

There is a link between completely stopping breast night-feeds and the return of menstruation. If you really want to keep feeding, give it a solid go.

Anecdotally, I breastfed through my second pregnancy, so if you do fall pregnant, that can be done.

I stopped breastfeeding two of mine to get pregnant with the next one. It really is fine - it felt like a huge thing at the time but, looking back, I’m so glad I did as I wouldn’t have my three lovely children otherwise.