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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask for help in picking a pet. Lots of criteria.

86 replies

theonewiththecats · 15/04/2019 07:30

DD2 (almost 9, and very sensible responsible) wants her own 'cuddly and interactive' pet.

DD1 is into fishes and has a fish tank which she looks after but DD2 is not interested.

We already have s lovely cat who prefers me.

Cause we have a cat, I ruled out rats/gerbils/birds as I am really worried about a tiny moment of complacency - happened to friends. Ideally, she wants a dog but I am working all day and have neither the money nor the time and space for a dog (we live in a flat).

Oh, and I don't like smell and mess - so no rabbit or ginnuea pigs either (thankfully we live ground floor and the tiger has a cat flap so no litter tray).

I really cannot think of a pet that ticks all the boxes. Anybody with another idea? Am I missing something?

OP posts:

Curious2468 · 15/04/2019 11:49

Another fan of Pygmy hedgehogs here. I have one and she’s super friendly and has such a funny personality.

Guineapigs would always be my first suggestion for kids though.

TheViceOfReason · 15/04/2019 12:20

@damntheman

If you buy locally bred chickens they would be acclimatised - you may need to think about insulating your coop, or perhaps a stone hot water bottle or two for very cold nights - but chickens are very well insulated!

We had freak cold weather even for us back in 2010 and it was down to -20 - the chooks were fine. I made them warm porridge (oats + hot water) for breakfast, made sure there water was sheltered to slow it freezing, and fed them extra rations of grains / dried fruit and grated cheese.

Damntheman · 15/04/2019 12:21

Vice, you've made my day with this :D Thank you so much!

SlurplePurple · 15/04/2019 12:25

Not very cuddly but my DD has a giant land snail. She cleans and feeds it herself and handles it at least daily. It’s so used to her now that it hardly ever hides in its shell and seems to recognise and like her.
It’s very low maintenance and doesn’t smell at all.

MoistMolly · 15/04/2019 12:52

A sugar glider would make a good pet.

KarmaStar · 15/04/2019 12:58

Hi op,there is little left to choose from other than reptiles.
Does she like ponies?could she help out at a nearby stables (if any)in her spare time?
Or do you have a nice,trusted friend or neighbour who would allow her to groom,walk their dog?
Another cat is fine if your original cat is happy,but if they don't get on there's not much space in a flat for them to have their own space.
Good luck.🐾🐾🌸

Darkbendis · 15/04/2019 13:23

A ferret?

charmandurrr · 15/04/2019 15:07

Bearded dragon

Connieston · 15/04/2019 15:10

I don't think sugar gliders are a good pet, like mice they pee on the move wherever they are and they need a lot of handling so you end up covered in pee.

Omzlas · 15/04/2019 15:14

I have a tortoise (Russian) and she's a mardy twat, just crawls under furniture and lays down. That said, she can move a lot quicker than people give them credit for! Maybe I just have an antisocial one....

thewayoftheplatypus · 15/04/2019 15:15

My son was desperate for a pet and we wanted something relatively low maintenance so went with a house rabbit. Took about a month to train him to his litter box, but now the mess is minimal. He has a huge 2 storey cage in the kitchen and mainly hangs out there, but he is free to roam the living room too. Easy to feed, loves cuddles and love, and my son is even teaching him to do tricks. Would recommend

PossiblySo · 15/04/2019 15:18

fish + cats don't mix! it can be stressful for the fisheys ...

TroysMammy · 15/04/2019 15:19

I had a dwarf lop eared rabbit who terrorised my cat.

The cat never bothered with my rats as he was middle aged and a sweetie. However when he died and I got 2 kittens one of them especially couldn't leave the rats alone and would sit looking at them and sitting on top of the cage.

I don't agree with hedgehogs being kept as pets.

Beamur · 15/04/2019 15:24

Gerbils.
No smell. Not nocturnal. Highly interactive and active pets - even if you don't handle them much, but can get quite tame if handled well.
You keep them in a tank rather than a cage, so cat proof. They're not bothered by cats watching them.
We've had gerbils, hamsters and guinea pigs. The hamsters were boring, the pigs are cute but make lots of mess and take quite a lot of looking after. Gerbils by far the easiest to look after and most entertaining.

Butterymuffin · 15/04/2019 15:24

Kitten! It's supposed to be easier to get an existing older cat to accept a kitten as it's not old enough to be a rival.

WiddlinDiddlin · 15/04/2019 15:34

I would revisit rats..

I have had them for years alongside the most predatory dogs and cat you could ever meet.

Secure cage and ours was also fixed to the wall so no one could pull the cage over, most rats will put a cat off them for life with a hiss and a bounce at the cage wire or a grab of fur through the bars!

However they need a BIG cage, think, measured in metres not cm..

They need to be in a group, not single.

They need to be taken out and handled and played with every single day.

Lower maintenance.. corn snake.

Viv with a heatmat (controlled by a thermostat, do not use a heat mat unregulated even though shops will sell you them!), water bowl, hide - handle most days except the day you feed, clean out once a week.

Big enough (once grown, the babies are like little angry bootlaces!) to handle easily, not remotely dangerous, become very relaxed about handling if its done enough and their bite doesn't hurt if they do get annoyed!

They also come in a range of fun colours/patterns if you want to shop around from hobby breeders rather than pet stores.

Reaah · 15/04/2019 15:37

Corn snake

Stuckforthefourthtime · 15/04/2019 15:37

You have two pets already. Can't she get more involved in the care of the one you have?

I don't think that children of 9 are necessarily old enough to have their own pets, especially if they're not involved in the care of existing ones.

Poppins2016 · 15/04/2019 15:40

Bearded dragons are very friendly.

Rabbits can mix well with cats (next doors 'free range' rabbit shares the garden with their cat and my cats visit too). Please bear in mind that rabbits are social creatures though (as are Guinea pigs) so you'd need at least a pair. They don't smell if their litter tray is cleaned every day (you can put a tray inside a hutch/crate and they're very good at using one). However it doesn't sound as though rabbits are your cup of tea...

I think I'd suggest the same as other posters - your daughter could start to make friends with your existing cat. Feeding, treats and grooming will help develop trust and familiarity.

I'm inclined to agree that getting another cat would be unfair, as they are (supposed to be) solitary animals and yours sounds very independent... However if you wanted to explore the idea, you could ask a rescue centre if they could recommend a cat that might be a good personality match.
We actually did this with a rabbit I inherited - we took her to the rescue centre and settled her in a quiet room before introducing 3 different rabbits (separately!) - she actively chose her 'soul mate' and nuzzled in for cuddles... They bonded for life. Apparently they did the same with cats, so it could be worth exploring...

Hoppinggreen · 15/04/2019 15:41

We have a created Gecko ( as well as 2 cats and a dog)
Getting his habitat set up was the difficult and expensive bit but the man we bought him from helped with that.
Now as long as the temperature and humidity is regularly checked he is no trouble at all. He eats reconstituted food so no live insects and he’s not too fast moving or too big. He has never bitten but apparently it doesn’t hurt if he does anyway. He is mostly nocturnal but will come out and happily sit on your shoulder and head and just chill out
He will live for another 10 years or so and of course you need to keep the cat away but he’s very handsome
I will try and out a photo on

ArchbishopOfBanterbury · 15/04/2019 15:43

I really wouldn't rule out a pair of guinea pigs, kept indoors in a room the cat isn't allowed in. Cats are less bothered by guineas than rats/hamsters/gerbils, and guinea pigs are a lot more handleable and less bitey.

They don't smell if you scoop the pee/poo corner daily and clean the box regularly. But they are very sociable and definitely shouldn't be kept alone. Get two.

Hoppinggreen · 15/04/2019 15:44

Hope this works
Not the best one I’ve got of him but most of them have dd on as well

to ask for help in picking a pet. Lots of criteria.

Hoppinggreen · 15/04/2019 15:45

Blue tongued skinks are also cool and w ehad planned to get one but dd fell in love with these when we met one at an event

Dottierichardson · 15/04/2019 15:51

More than one poster recommending a dog despite the fact that the OP lives in a flat which may have no outside space and works all day!! Dogs are social creatures leaving them alone all day is frankly cruel, not to mention that dogs need training in order to function within a home setting - when would this happen if there's no-one around - is a dog walker going to be paid to train the dog too? What happens then about bonding? If there's no outside space the OP would have to take it out for pees/poos, what happens when it needs to go out in the night? How will it be house-trained? What happens - as is common for dogs - when it has stomach problems and needs to go out several times in the night? Or is this part of the whole buy a dog, stick it in a crate like a pet mouse and then get rid of it because it's miserable and destructive living like that ethos that is why so many dogs end up in shelters.

Poppins2016 · 15/04/2019 15:52

@Hoppinggreen he looks rather cute! Does he enjoy being handled/is he sociable?

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