To stop calling him to stimulate desire in him?

[User123456789012]

I hope someone can help me. I’ve been close to a male friend for a number of months and have found myself thinking about him more and more. I suspect that I have feelings for him and want to be more than friends. The problem is, my realisation has coincided with him pulling away a bit. I feel like it’s always me who calls him these days. I really like this guy and want to trigger more desire from him.

WIBU to stop calling him, give him loads of space so that, if he wants to he can chase me?

In retrospect I think it’s probably obvious that I’m keen and I do have a tendency to chase men.

How can I turn things around to give this a fighting chance?

I’m not normally a game player but if there’s any hints or tips of how I can get this rather shy guy to chase me then please do say!

I don’t think I’m asking for manipulation tips. It’s more that I’m wondering if I’m putting him off by being the one to call and arrange things. Maybe if I stopped chasing him it would give him some space to see how he feels. Just a thought.

To be honest OP, if you routinely hang out with him every day, you would know if he was interested in something more by now. But yes, back off in any case. There’s nothing more of a turn-off to most men that women chasing them.

As I say, I thought he was interested until about 2 weeks ago when he cooled off a bit. Then I started to get interested (typical!). I will stop chasing him.

You seem unable to comprehend that despite you suddenly deciding
you want more from this friendship, it's patently obvious that he does not. Stop stalking him and move on.

No idea what the fuck stimulating desire in him means. You can't force a person to reciprocate your feelings just because you suddenly feel differently about him.

Am not sure why you are getting such a hard time here

Bottom line though, if he is backing off I would just assume he is not that into you and act accordingly

Thanks AnyFucker, yeah I’m feeling a bit bruised! 😅

So what do you mean exactly about acting accordingly? How should I act?

Could he have met someone a few weeks ago? Maybe that’s why he has less time to spend with you? Like others have said I would remain friendly but definitely back off a bit. You don’t want to be the person constantly initiating things, regardless of whether you want to be friends or more. Both a friendship and a relationship do really need both people to make the same amount of effort, so I would give him some space to initiate doing stuff if he wants to.

Limit yourself to texting once a week, don't arrange to meet up or chat unless he suggests it.

Take 'act" out of your vocabulary for starters

Sorry but if he was interested, you’d know.

This. Sorry 🤷‍♀️

I have one question for you: if he’s traditional that he maybe, you feel, he needs to initiate things, do you actually want to be with someone that feels threatened by you? You want to bend yourself into someone you’re not so he can desire you? Sounds like a recipe for disaster