Housework!!!

[Starlive23]

I don't think I am BU but, good to get objective opinions...I work 3 days, DH works 5 days. We have a DD who just turned 1.

So, housework...my husband takes the bins out on bin night and occasionally empties cat litter box. He does sometimes was DD's bottles IF I ask.

I do everything else. All the washing, ironing, cleaning, cooking and organising DD.

He is a good dad, he does his share of nappies etc so that's not an issue but...really?! I can't be unreasonable in thinking that yes he does work 2 days more than me, but I would say I do about 95% of the housework.

It's driving me bloody mad!!

I'm a single mum permanently exhausted from working full time & keeping my house spotless. If I had another adult living with me I would expect more help than your DH gives. Although, my biggest bugbear is putting the bins out. I'd pay someone to do that for me.

I think he should cook a couple of times a week, do some dishes daily and take on one third of the washing, in whichever way you can agree. But don't be agreeing to any lists or allocating, that's a job in itself.

YANBU unless DD is in nursery for those two extra days I'm guessing you mainly spend your time going to the park and playing with DD. OK if she naps for 2 hours then it would be fair to expect you to do an hour of housework during that time but he should be doing almost half of it.

Well the chat went well. I think I've got through to him somewhat. He did admit that he is lazy (although he's always admitted that, so that's not the problem).

The point at which the penny seemed to drop was when I asked him if, when DD was grown up, this is what he would want for her. No of course.

What actually changes will remain to be seen. I have accepted that I will always do more than him, but he can still do plenty. I really do hope this is the start of something, it would free up more time for me to see DD, especially after work, if we are both doing the odd bit here and there vs me doing the lot.

@maxi, I went with your suggestions in the end. We will see...

Well done for facing it and taking the bull by the horns. I really hope he steps up. This isn’t actually about housework but respect. His response and behaviour going forward tells you what you need to know. Good or bad.

What I don't get when I read these threads is, what do the husbands do while you're doing all the cooking and cleaning? Do they just sit down?

Although I agree that if you're working part time you'll probably do a bit more housework, I think when you've got small children at home, they can take up a big chunk of your time.

Also, things like washing, cooking, clearing up after meals, running the vacuum round, well they don't just wait until those two days off, they are constant everyday jobs. So why should you still have to do it all on the days where you're working too?

@Starlive23 Glad the initial chat went well - now strike while the iron's hot 😁

..and hand the iron to DH and get him doing it properly.