To be a little p-ed off?!

[wondering24]

I've just had 6 months off on maternity leave. When I was at work, my in-laws had my toddler every Wednesday and asked to carry on this arrangement whilst I was on mat leave.

It was great situation for all as it meant I got 1:1 time with the new baby, my toddler got a day of undivided grandparent love and everyone was happy.

I went back to work last week (just before the Easter hols- I'm a teacher) I asked if they'd have both boys on Wednesdays of the Easter hols so I could sort my classroom/do some planning/prepare myself. They were fine with this.

Anyway, my husband was allowed to split his paternity and has the two weeks after the Easter holidays off with the boys. Anyway, MIL offers today to have both the boys in the Wednesdays he's off so he can 'have some time to himself, go to the gym etc'

WTAF?!? I'm so grateful they've had my oldest and it was at their request, but they've never offered to have both boys whilst I was on mat leave or give me 'time to myself'. I'm not breastfeeding so that's not the reason either. (They will have both boys once I'm we're both back at work)

I'm really peeved by this, I've not had a whole day to myself since the baby was born, yet husband gets 2 days to himself in the 8 days he had to look after our children himself. Am I being an unreasonable bitch?

Yeah I reckon as pp said now you've asked them to have the youngest one too they know you're alright with it, so it's now open season on grandsons. But I can see why you're peeved and the peevation might rear its head again if come half term they don't make the offer to you!

They will be providing you with childcare when you are both at work for a day. I would
Just be grateful for that.

I think you're pretty lucky to be getting two days to yourself to go and do work bits. Can't you try and squeeze all your work into one day and then have the second day to yourself? Teacher here too and that's what I'd do!

It's only been 6 months. I don't think it's a big deal. Maybe they only just thought about it. Or maybe they didn't want to look after your youngest as well as the oldist until now, as 6 month olds are in ways easier to take care of by this point.

No need to get worked up about it. You could just be frustrated because you miss being on mat leave maybe? And have realised that actually you really need a day to yourself too sometime soon!

I see it as a double standard, my MIL always used to come and stay with my husband to help when I was away for work, however when he was away/long hours/frequent weekends working they never offered to support me (my own parents in another country). I think some other posters are being quite harsh in response.

I can see why it would bother you as we all get upset by things we're not robots! But they sound really helpful I think they waited to be asked about your youngest they probably think they have waited patiently for you to be comfortable away from the baby. Lots of mums are totally against letting people watch a new baby (me included) others enjoy a bit of time to themselves no way is wrong but it cam make it difficult for family to navigate when and where is appropriate to offer help.

They sound lovely

As he's their son maybe he felt more comfortable asking them to have both ?

So arrange with your husband to have a day off.

I certainly wouldn’t let on to them at all that your irrationally annoyed because otherwise the offer to help at all may go!