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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I messaged my friends boyfriend,was in the wrong?

27 replies

cantdorightornot · 14/04/2019 11:08

Friday night me and 3 good friends went oit for drinks.
Friend 1 got drunk and turned aggressive as per and just falling all over.
I didn't feel well so I left.
Told friend I was going she was too drunk to notice but my other 2 friends were there.
I woke up to a text from friend 2 saying friend 1 disappeared and lost her handbag with phone etc.
I called friend 1 phone 10 times no answer (obviously if she's lost it )
So I sent her BF a message on Facebook literally saying
Hi just checking friend 1 got home safely.
He said yes she did and that was it.
Then 2 hours later friend 1 sends me a angry Facebook message saying I should not have messaged her BF she's not 12.
Am in the wrong?
I only messaged him because I was worried about her.

OP posts:
MRex · 14/04/2019 11:10

In that situation that's what I would have done. I expect she was still drunk, she should apologise in the morning. If not then you might want to reconsider how much "fun" she is to go out with.

TheQueef · 14/04/2019 11:11

Your pal sounds a bit of a chore.
Yanbu.

Halo1234 · 14/04/2019 11:13

Yanbu. She sounds a bit much. Xx

Watchingthetelly · 14/04/2019 11:15

I think you would have been an uncaring friend if you hadn't made the effort to check she was ok since she seemed to be incapacitated. YANBU

Sawyershair · 14/04/2019 11:17

Your “as per” makes it sound like this is a common theme with her. She’s lashing out at you as she’s no doubt embarrassed that she’s again gone out and acted like a dick.

Loopytiles · 14/04/2019 11:17

You were not U, your friend was and is being U!

cantdorightornot · 14/04/2019 11:18

I think she's more angry at herself for loosing her phone than me.
She's just rang and apologised and wants to come over.

OP posts:
NorthEndGal · 14/04/2019 11:18

You did the right thing, and when she Sobers up and takes her head out of her ass, she will see that.
If not, set her free

Gruzinkerbell1 · 14/04/2019 11:19

You were being a good friend. She was being unreasonable. I’d cut her loose tbh, sounds more trouble than she’s worth.

letsdolunch321 · 14/04/2019 11:19

If it suits you and you want to see her then see her.

If not don't see her

SusanneLinder · 14/04/2019 11:21

I would have done same. The fact she has apologised means she has realised she has been an arse. You sound like a good friend.

CarolDanvers · 14/04/2019 11:21

“Fine, I won’t give a shit about you next time, have a good weekend”

Smile
HBStowe · 14/04/2019 11:22

YANBU, and tbh I wouldn’t bother going out with her again. She sounds like a massive pain.

HoraceCope · 14/04/2019 11:27

no, at least she apologised, she did right op

TomHardysCardy · 14/04/2019 11:36

your friend sounds like an idiot I would not go out with her again, hate being around people who get aggressive when drunk

CupcakeDrama · 14/04/2019 11:39

yanbu

AWishForWingsThatWork · 14/04/2019 11:41

You were being a good friend, and I think she's realised that, hence the apology.

viques · 14/04/2019 11:43

OK! You won't like this, but if your friends (andyou) are in the habit of getting falling down drunk then you all need to wise up a bit about protecting each other and making sure everyone gets home safely. Falling down drunk girls are easy prey for predators.

I'm glad everyone got home safely this time, but if your drunk girl friend hadn't got home safely last night what do you think you would all be feeling now?

DointItForTheKids · 14/04/2019 11:43

Maybe her visit is an opportunity to talk to her about curbing her drinking OP. Could be a good outcome at the end of the day. Otherwise there's actually no fun going out with someone like that - and they miss out anyway, cos they get so leathered so fast they can't actually enjoy it.

PregnantSea · 14/04/2019 12:00

YANBU, she was being defensive

cantdorightornot · 14/04/2019 12:03

@viques I personally never get falling down drunk.
I know when to stop.
She won't stop on a nightout but obviously zero point me trying to tell her to stop

OP posts:
viques · 14/04/2019 12:13

she won't stop on a night out

So you need to have the conversation when she is sober, and when I say you I mean the friendship group .

I am pleased you don't get falling down drunk. I admit to doing it myself when young, and I ended up in a few nasty situations that when I think about now make me shudder as they could have ended much worse than they did. Please take care of each other.

Yabbers · 14/04/2019 12:31

I’d have done the same. If she doesn’t like it then she is no friend. I’d like to think my friend would do the same for me.

Assuming she’s annoyed because she hadn’t told BF the extent of what happened. That’s her problem.

diddl · 14/04/2019 12:37

If you'd left her with other frinds I think it was a bit ott to keep checking on her tbh.

DeftandGlory · 14/04/2019 13:06

I don’t think phoning up makes you a good friend in particular. I don’t appreciate the more “ motherly” style of friendship either. It’s annoying and not helpful.

You know you have been contacted by her boyfriend if she hadn’t got back.

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