Mobile phones and children

[ThePlaceToVent]

DSC have mobiles (we pay for them). Thing is it’s almost obsessive and it worries me (my own kids also had them but they never seemed AS fixated).

DH takes them away at night but they will get up early in the morning to get back on them and are on FB and Instagram constantly and neither their mum or DH have the passwords to their phones, are FB friends with them or follow them on Insta which really worries me as DSD1 has posted really inappropriate stuff on Insta before (my adult DD followed her but has now been removed for alerting us to posts).

We visited a friend and they sat in the front room on their phones, not communicating with anyone, we went on a day out to activity and other than when we were at the actual event and I suggested to DH they put them away they were on them for the entire 3 hour journey by car and train with us and our friends, not communicating or looking out of the window.

Unless we are actively “doing” something with them the default is being on their phones.

To me this is unhealthy (and potentially dangerous) but DH will take the phones away for an hour then give them back, so potentially they are on their phones up to 7 hours a day (when with us).

We got them so they could text/phone him but they never do, even on his birthday.

AIBU? They are 12 and 14.

Not your kids, not your parenting choice.

You wouldn't be complaining if they were reading a book, rather than reading the internet. Its the same thing, just information presented in a different format.

No one, absolutely no one, wants to jammed in a car or train for 3 hours, staring out of the window at endless motorway or pylons. What exactly do you expect to happen in a car with regard to communication? Its hardly an inclusive activity is it? one person has to concentrate on driving.

TBH this is largely what teenagers do.

It’s nothing to do with them not being my kids. They are children I have cared for and been in the lives of for 10 years.

My children (are grown up) and had a step mother who used to remove the mobile phones I paid for when there.

I think it’s rude to visit people (we were there for about an hour) and just sit on a phone.

Reading a book is completely different to potentially interacting with strangers on SM with absolutely no adult supervision.

I agree with you OP. Sitting on your phone whilst travelling is one thing-but even then I'd expect the odd bit of human interaction with them and for them to take some interest in their surroundings-but visiting friends and not communicating is just downright rude (much like previous poster),and I would definitely have had something to say about that.
In fact if my DD had posted inappropriate stuff on Insta she wouldn't have a phone at all! You are right to be worried,but you will unfortunately get flamed for caring on here because you will automatically be cast in the evil stepmother role

I know “visiting” is boring but if I had gone to visit my parents friends as sat there ignoring everyone I would have been bollocked - it’s about learning social interaction and joining adult conversations.