Flaky friends

[SparklySneakers]

Aibu to get annoyed at a friend who frequently cancels get togethers, arranges to meet straight after something but then decides to nip somewhere else in between yet manages to attend all the nights out they have planned with others?
I'm beginning to feel a bit of a mug to be honest.
The other week we arranged to meet on the one morning where I'm child free but only for a couple of hours so is a busy day for me. She's going through some relationship difficulties and I've been supporting her as much as possible. I got to the meeting place and waited half an hour. She wasn't answering texts so tried to call and no answer. She eventually text after I'd given and gone home to say she'd gone back to bed after the school run and her phone had been off. I was pissed off I'd wasted my limited free time and it's not the first time she's done similar.
Most times she arranges to meet then does something before that means she can't meet me for another half hour or so so I'm hanging round waiting.
Last night we'd arranged getting together for drinks and she cancelled saying her kids wouldn't let her go out
She has no trouble going out on big nights out with other friends from work or other friendship group.
Previously I've declined get togethers because of her doing this and think I'll have to again. I know she's going through a tough time but she keeps her commitments to everyone else.
I'm a mug aren't I?

Well there you go - she sees you as free therapy, that's all! This isn't a friendship, it's you giving and her taking. It's been one way traffic Op, time the lights changed.

If you don't feel able to cut her off then start pulling back. Stop responding to most of her messages, don't answer the phone every time and when you do be short on time (have to leave for appointment in 5 mins/just cooking dinner/mum on way round etc). If you struggle to say no outright when she asks to meet up then stall for time. Don't be the one to suggest meeting up. Tbh though I'd ditch her outright and then watch for the MN thread where she's been cruelly 'ghosted' and can't think what she might have done wrong

You've said she's your only friend and I suspect that's why you've put up with being treated so badly . I suspect without this joy sucker bringing you down and knocking your self esteem (because being treated like that really does make you feel crappy about yourself) you might feel more inclined/energized to focus on making real friends who actually bring something positive to your life!

I’d keep a distance. She’s selfish, flaky and a user.

Start treating her how she treats you. Simple.

You are something for her to vent at when it suits her, not another person with their own needs and time. Not a friend.

I would disengage - if she asks why you can just tell her the truth - she’s stood you up numerous times with little care for your feelings, and only gets in touch when she wants to talk at someone.

You deserve better mates.

She's text me today to say I'm a better therapist than the one she was seeing
And your reply should be 'and yet I'm sure you didn't fail to turn up to your appointments with her so why can't you make the same or more of an effort for me?'

It's always her that makes arrangements to get together. I gave up when my suggestions were not taken up.
All her terms I see that now

Just say to her no sorry I am busy. Or be honest and tell her that no, everytime we arrange to meet you keep letting me down, so I am not going to arrange anything with you.

I came across this thread today while hiding lots of old ones.
I've distanced myself and not arranged any further get togethers or agreed to any she suggests.
I don't answer all the texts about her relationship issues anymore. I probably respond to one out of six. I get to the point where I'm very forthright with my opinion and I think she's not liking my bluntness anymore and she doesn't text as much. She's moved on to another single mum and is asking her advice instead of mine which is a relief and I hope the new friend is equally as plain talking about her DP as I am.
We have very little in common and I've started to dread her messages. Friendships are supposed to be fun, right? There's no fun here.
I'm too nice. It's time to stop being so nice. I'm not a personal therapist, I'm not qualified to advise about codependent relationships involving substance dependence.
It's hard to toughen up against people without feeling like a bitch