Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To get a dog

43 replies

Yessiry · 13/04/2019 20:16

I'm more of a yes and DH is more of a no.

Both animal lovers, lots of experience with dogs so I know what we'd be getting into.

Pros: I work from home so have lots of time, I'm very active, have a good size house & garden.
Cons: We travel on average once every 3 months for a week or two, I don't have a set daily routine, currently going through a lot of emotional trauma recovering from PTSD, we have infertility issues, and DH has some medical stuff (not serious but affects his energy) going on.

I struggle doing things alone. Even joining a yoga group for 1hr a week feels like a huge, big, scary thing I just can't face.

I'd like to foster or adopt a dog so I can fill my time a bit, get a routine, have something to love.

Are these selfish reasons and should I wait until life is a bit...less emotional?

OP posts:

Meangirls36 · 13/04/2019 22:13

Research the breed of dog. Dogs vary alot. Sounds like it would be fine but you might want to find someone who can watch it rather than put it in a kennel.

ItsalwaysLTB · 13/04/2019 22:31

OP I wanted to relay my experience - DH wanted a dog, I did not but finally agreed with ground rules in place (he'd do the early morning walks, sort out toilet training etc). We had relocated permanently prior to this and I had gone from a person with great friendship groups and a job to a person who knew no-one, had no job and was miserable. Ddog genuinely turned my life around, I was forced out every day, met other dog walkers, socialised and found my local community, all because of a creature I hadn't wanted.

You sound like you'd be a great dog owner, find out what your dh's red lines are re the dog and take it from there.

Booboostwo · 14/04/2019 06:25

A home boarding service needs to be run by someone who has a lot of experience with dogs. You’d need to know how to deal with dogs that are feeling stressed because they are away from their homes/owners, introduce new dogs to each other, cope with different dogs walking e.g. reactive ones, ones with poor recall, etc. It’s not a job for a new dog owner...

Booboostwo · 14/04/2019 06:26

Apologies OP you did say you have a lot of experience with dogs! I got confused with another thread.

FenellaMaxwell · 14/04/2019 06:33

Have a look at the cinnamon trust - that might be a good way to test the waters?

Pk37 · 14/04/2019 08:00

I think that amount of travel so frequently is abit unfair on the dog .
We are holding off until after our summer holiday and have made plans to lessen our breaks away once we have him or make sure it’s somewhere we can take him with us

SoupDragon · 14/04/2019 08:03

My dog has impacted negatively on my mental health. Much as I love him, I wish I'd never got him. They aren't necessarily life savers.

SoupDragon · 14/04/2019 08:05

I've always had a bit of a pipedream about having a luxury home dog boarding business

Google Barking Mad dog boarding. It's a franchise I've used for SoupDogg when we go away and the dog goes to live in someone's home. There may be a local branch to you that is looking for host families.

ForalltheSaints · 14/04/2019 08:08

As a reason for routine, a daily (or twice daily) walk where you will probably speak to other dog users, great. Kennels may be OK depending on breed, when you are away. Though I'm not so sure how you would work well or easily with a dog around you.

GreenTulips · 14/04/2019 08:17

Go and visit your local kennels as a couple a few times, just to meet the dogs etc and see how you feel

Lifeover · 14/04/2019 08:32

Op, I too got a dog when I was recovering from ptsd (birth trauma) and depression (numerous things inc secondary infertility from birth trauma), I don’t think it’s an understatement to say my dog saved my life.

How against a dog is DH, is he just less sure or is he actively against. My DH was less sure but could see how important having a dog was for me now he worships our dog.

Re travel we prob travel every other weekend 2-3hours away and for a week or so every couple of months. Perfectly doable. There was some issues when a puppy with travel sickness. But now we do a good walk before travel and she sleeps in the car.

Dogs are the most amazing animals (highly recommend miniature schnauzers😁).

Lifeover · 14/04/2019 08:34

Oh and when we go abroad a local dog walker looks after our girl. Home from home cuddles on sofa are included

Meadowland · 14/04/2019 08:40

Agree with GreenTulips.
Try volunteer dog walking at your local rescue centre.
Lots of sad dogs there who've lost their owners and really need cheering up.
Been doing it for years now .My anxiety and depression disappeared almost overnight as I was doing something so lovely and useful.

MsVestibule · 14/04/2019 08:54

I regret getting a dog. It's not a given that they're great for your MH, despite all the walks you go on with them. The never ending training, the restrictions they place on your lives.... Also, you have no idea of what the personality of your dog will be - they may settle nicely in the room you're working in all day or they may want to be constantly on the go. How would you deal with that? (If you can afford doggy day care at about £20 per day, that won't be an issue.)

I am so glad DH was as on board as I was about getting a dog - if I was going through what we're dealing with now without being able to say 'we made a mistake, didn't we?', (he agrees, BTW), it would had have had a detrimental effect on our marriage.

But it seems very few people regret getting one, so I accept I'm in a weird minority 🤷‍♀️.

SoupDragon · 14/04/2019 09:03

But it seems very few people regret getting one, so I accept I'm in a weird minority

I'm there too.

Original poster

Yessiry · 14/04/2019 15:22

Thanks all, lots to consider...

OP posts:

Shitshitshitshit · 14/04/2019 15:36

Only you know whether you could practically work your life around the needs of a dog (there can be many dependant on breed) and this needs to be priority over whether one will help you emotionally.

What I will say is that I got mine when I was going through (still am) fertility issues and I can tell you with 100% certainty that he's saved my life. I would be dead if he wasn't here.

It was incredibly hard at first. We got ours as a pup and I'd wonder what the hell I'd gotten myself into some mornings but the more and more we got into a routine the better I felt. He gave me a reason to get out of bed. It didn't matter if I was having the worst day imaginable, this little thing needed me to care for it and so I had to get up and get out. He makes me laugh on days where I'd think it was impossible and he sits with his head in my lap on days where all I can do is cry. He's 8 months now and he's my shadow.

I credit him with pulling me out of the worst of my depression, I really do.

It's not all roses and I guess it may not work out so positively for everyone but I can only tell you my experience and it was the best decision I ever made.

Shitshitshitshit · 14/04/2019 15:44

There's also quite a few pet sitter type businesses popping up all over now I've noticed.

If you can afford it, I'd prefer to send them to one of these rather than kennels whilst your away.

The lady who runs the daycare ours goes to does home boarding and she only allows two at a time in her home which means he gets a lot of attention still! He loves it there. I think he'd hate a kennel type environment.

Flip

1 2