Do you pretend to have less disposable to your teens....? because you don't want to spoil them....

[NaomifromMilkshake]

DD has had a life I would never of dreamed of when I was growing up.

A holiday in Spain every year, all the frills, meet and greet parking, etc.

Guaranteed pocket money (this is huge for me)

Games consoles.

Guaranteed winter coat, yes I still remember the winter of 81 when I pretended that I wanted a red sou'wester as a winter coat because I knew there was no money.

Anyway point being if she rocked up today and asked for something that cost three hundred pounds it wouldn't be a stretch, but I would certainly make sure she thought it was and there is no guarantee that I would agree to it.

Because in an increasingly materialistic label orientated teen world I am desperate to be the voice of reason.

Not sure I am making sense, but I do know what I mean.

We don't pretend but we do discuss the value of money, earning it versus being given it and waiting to save up for something rather than go into debt.

We also talk quite openly about money and how to choose what you want to afford, something only being worth what you're willing to pay and that we all have to make compromises as a family.

So, in your example it would start with a discussion and any decision would come from that.

Yes, I do know what you mean and yes I do the same. I think they see through it a bit though.

Blimey, I remember the winter of 81 and it was freezing! I had a coat but we’d just moved into an old, draughty house and my parents couldn’t afford to run the heating very often..... brrrr!

Gosh yes. I tell my kids About can’t afford stuff all the time!!

I think that's definitely fair! It's important to teach kids the true value of money and that it's something that has to be worked for/achieved not just large sums handed out whenever

I totally get what you mean. I am exactly the same - I have always been careful to stress that all the expensive things my DCs might want are 'a lot of money' even if I am able to afford them. When my DS got the Xbox One he had wanted for ages a few years ago it was a joint Christmas and Birthday present. I still refuse to spend over £80 on a pair of trainers. I never had the benefit of unlimited funds when I was a child and I am careful to let me DCs know that anything they get is the product of hard work and saving my money. I don't do credit and my kids know that instant gratification is not likely when the ask for something!! My DS is 16 and now has a Saturday job, he's hardly spent anything he's earned as he now realises the effort that it's taken to get the money he has earned. I feel my stance over the years has worked. He is saving for a big purchase and is even trying to find himself the best deal. I think money management is a huge thing that we should be teaching our children.

My ds have a very wealthy father but don't get life handed to them. They were expected to get part time jobs from 16 and through uni.
They are very financially savvy and certainly don't get gifted shed loads of money or stuff.

Yes, I think it makes them more likely to realise the value of money and enjoying what you have without having huge credit card bills in the background. We make sure he realises the cost AND value of things and he thinks about best deals etc but we also like that he has nice experiences and so on that money can't buy (but that cost us a significant amount of money!)

Oh my goodness YES. I know you shouldn't need to lie, and I'm sure someone will come along in a minute and post something about how you should be honest with your children, but I really could not stand the thought of my children growing up feeling entitled and if you just tell them that you can't afford some things it helps them understand how the world really works and encourages them to save their own money and value expensive things appropriately. My money isn't their money. My husband and I have worked very hard for what we have, I actually was homeless for a short while in my younger days because things were so bad. My DH and I both come from poor families and have truly earnt every penny that we have. I never want my children to go through what I had to go through, and of course we will help out when it's appropriate to do so, but it's extremely important to me that they learn to make their own way financially and have a sensible attitude to finances. This includes not expecting the bank of mum and dad to buy them things just because they fancy it.

I think 300 type prices is an awful lot of money regardless of whether it's something you can easily afford or not, and it's important teens realise what it is they're asking for.

I don't think you have to make it out to be a stretch as such, but you definitely need to teach them how much they are actually asking for

Being spoiled isn't about stuff. It's an attitude. First port of call is as poster said above, discussing the value of money and materialism. Its natural to want what friends have or what media tells you you need and I think it is harder than it was when I was young not to get caught up in all that. I came from a poor background as did DH. I love being able to walk round a supermarket and buy what we need or want without worrying. That's something that neither of our families had the luxury of. We talk about these things as a family and teen DSs don't really ask for anything. They do of course have plenty. It's maybe easier with boys but at Christmas DS decided he might like a leather jacket. I ordered in a variety for him to try without telling him the prices . The two he liked best were the most expensive (originally £400 but on sale) and the cheapest at under £20, that was a waxed cotton thing. In the end I let him keep them both, one for good and one for mucking about. It's funny how they choose when they don't know the price. I think if he had he'd have only picked the cheap one tbh.

Sort of we don't have much disposable money but what we have is for all the kids to enjoy. Whether a day out or whatever.. My ds gets the child benefit each month for his use.. One stipulation of not crap. So clothes or trainers, music etc. Not sweets etc.
He then gets 20 of myself and his dad per month for what he choses to spendv on. Normally x box stuff etc.

He also earns when he goes to do work experience with my dp. Which he saves. As in that profession you need a good set up so he's put money aside for that when he goes to college 3 yrs away.

He often asked for really expensive stuff out the blue and I say we'll if u use xxx of your child benefit this month and save some ill put towards it. It's normally football boots that he wears twice and says he no longer likes grr

No we don't lie re money, having grown up in a house with money issues I don't ever want them to worry. They get a say in food shopping, holidays etc.

The purchase would depend on the item. Mine don't do designer clothes so am lucky there. They aren't free to spend their allowance and any gifted money however they please.

We have a good income and can afford to give the DCs nice lives. But spoiling them isn't about income; we have friends who have lower incomes whose DC seem more grabby and spoiled than ours simply because they feel that they have to help their DC fit in.

We could afford more, and we treat them often and travel frequently, but it's never a case of chucking money at them just for the sake of it. I don't think I'd lie and say we can't afford things, but I'd happily say no, we don't need that right now, or ask them to wait.

Heck Yeah.
The boys have frugal tendencies but DD would spend every penny she could access. Would bleed us dry. I have no idea how to get her reign it in.

Teen DS1 is financially independent. Is thinking about buying a house (but low salary, will have to wait a few yrs).
Teen DS2 earns £7/week. With that & pocket money, he saved up £1000 in one yr.
Teen DD earns £20-£25/week. She has zero in her bank account.

I give my two pocket money but it's earned through chores. No chores, no money. They actually come and ask me for jobs to do and I encourage them to think about where they spend it and on what.
I will say you don't need that, you've got plenty of shoes/t shirts etc. .
We have had general discussions about paying for names etc. One example I gave was phones made by a certain fruit based electronic company.
I explained that at one time they were the cutting edge of design and technology. Now other companies have caught up and why spend all that money on something that doesn't do anything that the cheaper ones can't. Obviously it's their choice.
So far they are both very cautious.

I definitely think you can teach kids the value of money, treat them and avoid them being spoilt. My parents didn't have much money when I was very young, more when I was a teenager. I was bought a car, had lovely holidays, nice clothes, paid through uni, and helped out well into adulthood. However, I am absolutely not spoiled, I have appreciated every single penny ever spent and understand how fortunate I have been. I am instilling the same understanding in my own dc, they never go without but know what every penny we spend has to be earned first