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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Another dog one! Who WBU?

22 replies

Slicedpineapple · 13/04/2019 08:11

We were walking our dog at the dog field which is very big and generally used for off lead dogs. There was a teenager there with an off lead dog who was running around - fine.

I always like to check out another dogs body language and also give it's owner a chance to try and recall it (just in case) so I called my boy back, lead in hand in case the dog wasn't friendly or owner wasn't happy with them meeting. He came and sat next to me.

The dog bolted over to us and started instigating play - owner watched on and didn't say anything so I thought 'fine' and carried on with my walk (we had to walk past him). The dogs played nicely for the few seconds we were crossing paths. When we got so far my dog trotted by the owner who then started screaming. This peaked my dogs interest so rather than let him get exciteable (he's 18 months old so would love to have tried to play with the person) DH ran ahead and called him away.

Whenever I think my dog might have done something to upset somebody I look at myself in the situation to see what I should have done because I do not want to be that owner. But the teenager seemed to be scared of unknown dogs... I'm not sure why you would let your dog approach other dogs and their owners (who were sat ready to go on a lead if needed), not say a word to try and get your own dog back, and first reaction be screaming? Also why was his own dog off a lead if he's frightened of dogs? It's a clear sign to all other owners to put theirs on.

Just stumped me a bit, what do you think?

Following this I saw the other dog run off towards other people again whilst ours stayed on a lead for a few minutes to get some distance.

Seems like a non issue to post about really but I'm interested in people's thoughts as it resulted in screaming, albeit unwarranted from my POV.

OP posts:

Original poster

Slicedpineapple · 13/04/2019 08:12

I should add - my dog can be a bit bouncy bit in this instance did nothing wrong and recalled away every time he was asked (his recall is very good otherwise I wouldn't let him off lead).

OP posts:

MiniEggAddiction · 13/04/2019 08:15

YANBU. He just sounds like an inexperienced dog owner.

itssoooofluffy · 13/04/2019 08:16

YANBU. Bit weird to walk a dog off the lead in a place you know there will be other off the lead dogs if you are scared of them. And then he lets his dog run up to people, but expects them not to let their dog near him? Even weirder.

Ellapaella · 13/04/2019 08:37

YANBU - teenager shouldn't have been in control (or not as the case might be) of a dog that's likes to play with others if he was afraid of dogs. Ridiculous.

Original poster

Slicedpineapple · 13/04/2019 08:45

Thanks for your replies. I'm glad you don't think IWBU as I don't want ddog to cause upset.
I figured perhaps it was one of those situations where parents told him to walk the dog but he either wasn't comfortable doing it or didn't really want to, so did it in the easiest way for him (let his dog run around) and hoped nobody's dog would do the same thing.

OP posts:

AvocadosBeforeMortgages · 13/04/2019 13:18

YANBU. It's all very weird.

Yesterday I came around a corner with my little dog (who was behaving perfectly and always ignores strangers) to find a grown woman whimpering and hiding behind her friend. I don't think my quip that "he won't eat you, he's already had his breakfast" improved matters... There are some odd people out there!

PristineCondition · 13/04/2019 13:26

AvocadosBeforeMortgages I've been bit by an on lead dog who ' would never bite and is ever so polite and friendly '
lots of stitches and oozing bandages a few months of recovery means im rather hesitant of dogs that look like the one who did it.
I'm sure the owners find me odd...

IvanaPee · 13/04/2019 13:29

Avocados, you were a bit of a twat actually.

It’s not for you to decide that nobody should be afraid of your dog, for whatever reason.

OP, YANBU. My boy loves to play with other dogs but he’s strong and bouncy 😂 so we don’t let him near other dogs or people unless they indicate they’re ok and we’ve checked the dog’s body language.

I would have assumed the teen was ok, too.

DeadCertain · 13/04/2019 14:16

I had similar years ago when I had one of my dogs with me who was a pup at the time; we were approached in the woods by a (very thankfully friendly) dog without an owner in sight who followed my dog and myself along, playing. After a while the dog who had approached us saw what turned out to be it's owner and ran over, mine was still playing with it and the owner started screaming at me to get my dog away and under control. I apologised, recalled him and went on my way.....followed by the other dog again who wouldn't return to the other owner despite his calls. Very bizarre.

SilverBangle · 13/04/2019 14:25

There's nowt as queer as folk! 😂
What breed is your dog OP?

Original poster

Slicedpineapple · 13/04/2019 17:49

After a while the dog who had approached us saw what turned out to be it's owner and ran over, mine was still playing with it and the owner started screaming at me to get my dog away and under control.

You're politer than me, I might have had to point of that their dog was out of their sight and thus out of their control.

SilverBangle he is a staffy

OP posts:

Original poster

Slicedpineapple · 13/04/2019 17:56

Avacados I do sympathise and know it's annoying to see people cowering when your dog is friendly, but I've been on the other side of this. I was attacked when I was about 9 years old by a German Shepherd that I knew and used to take for walks. Generally very friendly dog. Attack was unprovoked and as an adult, looking back I could only put it down to resource guarding if it had something particularly good by the front door (which I had just knocked on).
I was mostly only scared of off lead dogs but it lasted several years. Initially I was frightened if I saw any dog and would freeze up. My grandmother taught me how to tell a friendly dog from a not so friendly one at the time.

I finally got over my fear of off lead dogs when I was about 15 and now am the complete other way...I was lying in a field being treated by paramedics about 3 months ago and they were surprised that I was unphased by a nearby off lead dog growling at me!

So I see this from both sides completely and could only assume the woman might have had a recent unpleasant experience with a dog.

OP posts:

OneStepSideways · 13/04/2019 17:58

It's probably because yours is a staffie, lots of people are afraid of them. They get so much bad press.

Off lead Staffies make me very nervous, if one comes up to me I freeze. Their big jaws and the shape of their heads look sinister to me. Probably because of the dog fighting associations and the fact so many end up in rescues.

Parly · 13/04/2019 18:40

I get riled at anyone whose dogs are off-lead bounding over and annoying others and literally stand there looking gormless and doing nothing. Lot of really anxious, fearful and almost neurotic dog owners that won't take their dogs anywhere and keep them sort of wrapped up in a bubble of off-peak / after dark hours only. Then on the other hand you get the completely feckless, gormless idiots that don't give a shiny shit what their dogs are doing, who / what they're up to and just expect everyone to somehow tolerate and accept their dogs being annoying as hell.

Labs are getting an increasingly bad rep because they're a good breed for first time / novice owners and people think they don't need to do anything and they come ready made, trained and that's it – job done.

Original poster

Slicedpineapple · 13/04/2019 18:59

Great, thank-you for sharing your stereotyped views and generalisation with me. My dog is very friendly, not a typical muscle bound staffy, and has never hurt anyone. Fantastic with people, dogs, and kids.

His breed isn't relevant.

OP posts:

Original poster

Slicedpineapple · 13/04/2019 19:02

I know what you mean. I know lots of people that have got labs and spaniel thinking they have obedience built in. They are very intelligent, motivated and trainable, but the work still has to be put in by owners.
When we encounter dogs like this I tend to feel a bit sorry for them that their owner hasn't taken the time to do the training work with them. I get frustrated with the owners, not the dogs.

OP posts:

pigsDOfly · 13/04/2019 19:15

OneStepSideways If you look at staffies with a different perspective, what you see as a big, sinister looking jaw could just be seen as a great big staffie grin.

Your situation OP. All sounds very odd behaviour from the young man. Not sure anyone could really understand what that was about but it really doesn't sound as if you have to worry you did anything that could have set him off.

Original poster

Slicedpineapple · 13/04/2019 19:29

If you look at staffies with a different perspective, what you see as a big, sinister looking jaw could just be seen as a great big staffie grin.

Exactly! There's no heart emoji for me to use, or I would. We very regularly get people going out of their way to compliment my boy's big smile, and they often get a very waggly bum as a thank-you (not from me) and lots of kisses. One of the least intimidating dogs I have ever met.

And thank-you pigsdofly glad to hear the majority don't really understand what was happening there either.

OP posts:

pigsDOfly · 13/04/2019 19:46

Slicedpineapple I've never met a nasty staffie and love the big grin.

I only found out the other day, was told by a staffie owner - my dog's not a staffie - that it's only the males that have the big grin.

No doubt their big cheeky smiles can be used to good effect when trying to attract lady staffies

SilverBangle · 13/04/2019 19:59

Oh the big bad staffie! I have 2 wussy cross breeds. Never had a problem with staffies. Sometimes staffies can be a bit boisterous, with their play consisting of bowling other dogs over and not knowing when to stop, but on the whole my two can hold their own.

The only dogs I have encountered to be a problem are GSD's. I have nothing against GSD's, I have owned 2 big softies.

One owner thought it was a great idea to allow her GSD to run amongst a pack of dogs, because it was muzzled. The dog caused absolute mayhem! It may have been muzzled so it couldn't bite but my God it caused a few injuries stomping on and head butting other dogs!

The other was a young lad walking his dog off lead. I unclipped my puppy (3months old) to pee, when there was nobody around. Mid pee this GSD appeared and ran towards my pup. No.owner in sight. The pup was obviously spooked and ran. I called the pup, who tried to come back but GSD was on her tail. Puppy freaked and made her way home- across two busy main roads, with GSD on her tail 😱

Thankfully she made it home and I arrived to witness the GSD standing over the pup, with pup shaking in fear. I called the dog warden to collect the GSD. Dog warden came and collected him - eventually!

The very next day the GSD was running around the playing fields. No owner in sight! 🤬

I haven't seen the dog lately so, hoping someone else has reported him. I feel so sad that the dog had a useless owner and the dog suffers because it hadn't been trained appropriately 😢

All dogs have the potential to be great dogs, who are a joy to have around. Clueless owners are the problem ☹

SilverBangle · 14/04/2019 09:02

I unclipped the lead for the pup to pee. Not me 😀 I just read that back and it didn't read quite right 🤔

nrpmum · 14/04/2019 09:26

As soon as you said Staffy I thought 'thats why'. I have two SBTs. Both true to type, pure muscle. Both love humans, and daft as a brush.

If I walk one of them people cross the street due to their heavy breathing, if I walk the other people gravitate to me to stroke them. Bizarre.

That situation you encountered seems completely nuts, although to a degree I might understand. When I was younger I was bitten by a miniature poodle. I have hated them ever since. I won't go near one, and I won't let my dogs play with any. Having said that I wouldn't cross the road to avoid or start screaming, I'd carry on walking.

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