Just that. DH thinks I’m abnormal by taking opportunities to make new friends.
I don’t have a huge social circle and don’t really get to go out much (married 9 years, dated DH 12 years beforehand, two young children - most of my life these days revolves round them or my work).
Most of my current friends I have met through work. People I have worked with or are currently working with. I have lost friendships with high school and university friends, mostly through distance and teenage fall outs, a couple by unexplained ghostings.
I got a message into a WhatsApp group inviting me to a night out. A number of women from DS’ nursery. I don’t know them that well, but thought it was really nice to be asked and it would be lovely to have night out in girly company.
Told DH, partly because I wanted to share the nice invite and other part to warm him up to the idea of going out in a month or so’s time, as he would need to look after the kids. He told how ‘sad’ it was, how ‘sad’ I was by trying to interact with it and how I’m so ‘desperate’ to make friends.
This is not the first time he’s been like this. Currently on maternity leave, he’s actively discourage me from joining baby groups. Again that’s deemed to be sad too.
He’s also fairly critical of the friends I do have. One or two he is okay with, others he’s can be quite nasty about - to the point I have had to ask him to stop because it’s upsetting and largely uncalled for.
He’s a bit of an anti-social person generally. Nice enough to people and in company, but doesn’t feel the need to socialise with people he doesn’t like and doesn’t need to make new friendships.
He say he has enough friends and can’t understand why I would actively seek to make new friends. He actually compared the WhatsApp invite to the equivalent of going on a dating website - really?
He would never actually stop me going out and doing these things, or meeting my friends; but his attitude puts me off from doing so. I didn’t really do the baby clubs during my first maternity leave that I could have done, I don’t socialise with the neighbours/street events because he doesn’t want to, and I probably don’t go out with my fiends as much as I could because I can’t be bothered with the comments and aggro it would cause.
I don’t feel I have good female friendships, not because of him, I have somehow just lost the good female friendships I have had over the years.
I miss that.
I don’t have my Mum anymore or any sisters/extended family. I don’t have anyone to bounce ideas off of and do girly activities with. I have my DH and two sons, and lovely as they are I crave some female company. Is that unreasonable?