Sorry, bit complicated and a blatant first world issue.
I live in a small town about an hour and 20 mins away from the town I used to live in where all my friends still live. I still own a house there occupied by my friend with a room I can stay in whenever I want.
I've let my friend who lives in the town where I used to live, down on her birthday and she's upset.
She made plans for it a week or so ago, it was to be a meal and drinks after in a town some 1 hr 45 mins drive from where I live, and some 1 hr ten mins from the town my friend lives in, where I used to live.
I was at work until 6pm that day and decided I'd drive straight there, I could just about make it in time for the meal, I took change of clothes with me to work and packed things to stay over in the town I used to live in, which is closer to the town she'd chosen for her birthday night, than where I live.
All planned. I also took annual leave for the following day to avoid having to rush back.
When I was at work that day , I saw she'd messaged her group chat for it saying because a lot of people had pulled out of the meal because it was too expensive a night for them, she had planned to stay in the town she lives in (where I used to live) and just have a few drinks there instead, and that she'd catch up with others another time.
One mutual friend was meeting her there during the day for lunch and then they'd go for some drinks and others were welcome to join.
Fine, this pleased me because it meant I could be in a familiar place, I could relax at my old house and dump my things before I went out, get changed there instead of in my car! and have a couple of wines as well unlike the previous plan where I'd have a fairly long drive after.
6pm arrived I jumped in my car and set off. I got to my old hometown, dumped my bag at my house there and went to change and message my friend to ask where she was. It was then I noticed a text to the group again, sent about half an hour before I finished work. It said 'change of plan, I'm going out with xxxx in (original town some 1hr 10 mins from where I was) now, feel free to join'.
I hadn't seen this message because I did not take any breaks at work in the last hour (not allowed) or look at my 'phone, and in an effort not to arrive later than necessary I didn't look at it when I finished, I just set off.
I decided after the two hour (it was very busy on the roads) drive I'd just completed to my old home town, following a ten hour shift, to get to the night out, I wasn't going to drive another 1 hr ten mins or so, and arrive late and flustered and not be able to have a drink and have to drive back again after. I felt she must have seen that I had not seen the message, (the app notifies when one is read) and could have called as she knew what time I finished work, even if I was driving and unable to answer I could have pulled over to check at some point and know I was going to the wrong place.
She has put something on SM today about having friends who let her down 
and having messaged her, she's said loads of people pulled out. I don't feel I 'pulled out' I tried and it was quite an effort really, annual leave ,having to pack things night before, having a long drive etc (although I appreciate it isnt her fault I am no longer local).
Would you have seen the message and driven to the other town? I feel bad that others let her down and so did I even though I didn't mean to, I was fine with any plan that she had even though I'm not well off either and the first place was quite an expensive restaurant/town to eat and drink in.