Cousins and growing up

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SIL is very keen for DC to keep in touch as she didn't have a cousins relationship herself and feels it would be nice if they were friends.

It's a bit of a struggle now they are getting older as different sexes/ages and mine are not really bothered. They also live a long way away. I feel guilty though.

AIBU to say no to keep meeting up? I am NC with other family (due to past abuse from parents) anyway so not keen to visit the area which results in them coming here and they seemed a bit fed up with that last time and that we should visit them

I never really say my cousins growing up and don't feel any loss from that.

Just returning to this as getting more pressure to meet up, and if I say we have plans are told Dc are sad about not seeing their cousins...however when we do meet up they don't seem to engage much and just want to go on the computer!

There is a 6 year age gap between them and others are girl/boy tweens, getting to the shy age around each other, and it just seems tricky to me. Also we have quite different parenting styles

Not sure what to do without seeming rude. They have swapped phone numbers but not calling each other.

My parents come from large families so I have 50 zillion cousins (not accurate bu I couldn't be bothered to count) , most of which I wouldn't recognise in the street. I was one of the youngest so at family occasions just got left out by the core group and I have only bothered to keep in touch with two of them over the years. One I love like a sister, the other one because she was nice to me when the others weren't. Honestly to me it's not a big deal, and my children aren't that close to their cousins with one of my children and one of his cousins being an exception. If there is no bond you can't really force it and unfortunately for your SIL that's really all there is to it.

Would you tell them (BIL/SIL) that you don't want to force friendship or the reason behind this? (it is difficult particularly with one of their DCs behaviour) or just leave it at 'being busy'? Not quite sure what to say...