You hadn't experienced PND before your eldest was born - now you know what's like, you're worrying about it. And the waiting of the last couple of weeks, when you're at your largest, it's been a crappy winter and you didn't intend to have a second child in the first place when you were only just recovering from your PND, has to be one of the most difficult things for a Mum to go through. Even your feelings towards your DP might be a symptom of depression/hormones and not the end of your relationship - but if it is, make your decisions when you know you're on a level kilter emotionally, not now when it's all up in the air. I know DP adores me, but give me PMT - I use 'T' because it's not every month and coincides with particularly stressful times for other reasons - and in my head, he's an arsehole/is going to leave me/it's all so fucking hopeless - until I go to the loo, find I've come on and the 3am misery disappears again for another month or two.
Talk to your midwife, put as much help and support in place as possible now, plan to look after yourself immediately, including setting aside time for not 'doing anything' (which could mean a guaranteed hour to have a bath, sleep, lie on the bed doing nothing, whatever it is that you need) and I think you'll be able to not be quite so worried - taking into account that worrying is perfectly natural, we aren't all happy and excited all the time, whatever the media likes to tell us we 'should' feel.
After all, if you've had PND once, you're going to notice the symptoms more quickly, so you can get treatment before it takes over - you're wise to it, rather than getting blindsided by it when it happens.
You will be alright. In a short time, you will welcome your beautiful baby girl to the world and it will be hard. But, with the right support, plans and actions to look after yourself, whatever the future brings, you will be OK and your little girl will be loved, whether you feel it instantly or it takes a little time.
