AIBU to ask my friend to babysit as a one-off?

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I’m a SAHM with a 3 year old and a just turned 1 year old. I’ve got an interview on Monday morning for a job. I haven’t worked for the past 3 years and I’m in a fairly niche field, so I don’t have a lot of other opportunities to get back into my old career path.

The babysitter I booked for Monday morning has just cancelled!! The other babysitter I use is working that day. My older DC is in nursery on Monday, so I’m stuck for childcare for the baby only. I already checked with the staff at the nursery if anyone is off that day and free to babysit (which they sometimes do privately), but they can’t help as it’s short notice.

DH can’t take time off work next week. Our family are very hands off. I don’t have a DM and my DF probably wouldn’t help if I asked. He lives 2.5 hours away, but in any case he is always “too busy” (plenty of time for his girlfriend’s 5 kids and 9 grandchildren; 3 of the adult children live in his house!!!).

We recently moved to this area last year, so I’ve only got a handful of friends (mostly NCT). There’s only 1 who could potentially help, as others are back to work now or away on holiday.

I was thinking about messaging my friend and asking if she would be able to look after my baby. Would this ruin the friendship? I thought I could offer to pay her £10 an hour or do a babysitting swap and look after her DC on a weekend night?

It would be for 5 hours, as I need to commute there and back and it’s a 2-hour interview.

If I cancel the interview now, it’s pretty much off the table.

WWYD? I’ve thought what I’d do if she asked me and I’d be fine with it (not taking money, but helping and babysitting swap for future).

Yes ask. I'd be happy to help a friend or neighbour in your situation.

Definitely ask! I certainly wouldn't mind if a friend/family member made such a request. Don't offer to pay, though, as PPs have said, just give her a bottle of wine/box of chocolates as a thank you and offer to return the favour.

I wouldn’t find it odd if a friend asked this at all. I would find it odd for them to offer to pay though.

I asked a friend to have my youngest for about 2.5hrs while I had an interview. She loved it (her DC is older and she couldn't have a second, so really loved having a toddler around for the morning). Downside is the DS keeps asking to go back as he had such a fun time.

I wouldn't offer to pay but offer to have their child(ren) for a day or evening etc and make sure you do that. It's actually quite useful to start a bit of reciprocal childcare and that's how I made some good mum friends when we don't have family locally. I would also buy a small thank you gift for 5hrs of childcare.

I also second ringing around some childminders as they are likely to have kids off. Or look up sitters.co.uk. This might be a good start so you have some backup childcare going forward.

I do this constantly with my friends. It's not weird, surely? We mind each others' kids when we have things on. As long as nobody feels pressured or unfairly burdened.

Ask but definitely call her. If it was me I would do it, but I would feel like you were more of my friend if you called me. If it's a text, I would just feel like you're offering me a babysitting job for some money and I wouldn't need the £10 tbh.

Definitely ask. I’m a sahm mum and would definitely help as a one off if asked. Especially as you don’t sound like a cheeky fucker who wants to take advantage.
Good luck xx

Can you message the NCT WhatsApp group and ask if anyone knows of any babysitters / private childcare etc and explain your predicament?

I would definitely ask.

But if she can't I think your dh needs to find a way to take the time off.

Yep I would ask, just make it clear she can say no x

Also ask all your NCT friends if they have babysitters they trust they can recommend.

If you was my friend i would do this without a second thought - ask her!

Of course it's ok to ask. I probably wouldn't offer money though as then it's a weird business transaction instead of a favour within a friendship. I'd offer to do the return the favour though.

Yes to a gift, I always appreciate flowers

I would always text in this situation, to avoid putting somebody on the spot. I hope you did ask, OP, it's a perfectly acceptable thing to do in a friendship and most people would be happy to help for a one-off thing like this.

I don’t see at all how this could ruin a friendship? Make it stronger more like! Good to have a friend to swap babysitting with. My friend and I take each other’s kids while the free one goes to the gym; then gym one comes back and the other one goes. Good luck and good luck for the interview!

I did this exact thing when I had an interview while I was off with DS, in the end 2 NCT friends came to mine and managed the 3 babies between them. I would definitely suggest offering to return the favour and would do this for a friend if I could!