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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To soon for separation

20 replies

mummywingingit · 11/04/2019 22:40

I'm a first time Mummy so all this is new to me.

We are putting our son in his own room tonight for the first time and if I'm honest I'm bloody dreading it! I feel really anxious about him being away from me...I know I have the monitor, but I can't hear him breath through it and can only hear him when he stirs or wakes as the monitor is designed to kick in when baby is moving...I know we have to do it sooner or later but I feel so unready...not really looking for advice, just nice to see if any others felt the same?
I know in long run we will all sleep better blah blah blah but for now it feels awful 😥

OP posts:
Ilovemysleepthief · 11/04/2019 22:41

Dont do it If you don't feel ready! How old is he?

OhTheRoses · 11/04/2019 22:42

Hopefully he's not yet 21 Grin

Chickychoccyegg · 11/04/2019 22:55

what a shame o.p, maybe its too soon to move him? what age is ds?

justrestinginmybankaccount · 11/04/2019 23:01

Oh don’t do it!!! I think it’s an intuitive thing. When it feels ok then it’s time to do it, if it feels as you describe please don’t do it!!

Crunchymum · 11/04/2019 23:03

Age of DC would be helpful

Namechangedcositstime · 11/04/2019 23:06

Tried it with my baby at 10 months. No one slept better at all!
Don't do it if you aren't ready.

Original poster
mummywingingit · 11/04/2019 23:19

He is 9.5 weeks old. He is too big for his basket and there is no room for his cot in our room..I'm debating getting a crib tomorrow as I think they are a bit bigger as I feel awful at the thought of being in separate bedrooms. Not sure if it's just first time mum anxiety or what 😩

OP posts:
supermum85 · 11/04/2019 23:21

you should still be sleeping in the same room at 9.5 weeks. this lowers the risk of sids.

Mamimawr · 11/04/2019 23:25

Get a crib or a compact cot, Ikea sell one. He should be in the same room as you till 6 months because of the risks of cot death.

Alb1 · 11/04/2019 23:25

You should get a crib to go in your room, I picked one up second hand for £5 and just bought a new mattress so maybe something like that is an option. It’s safer for the baby to be with you at this age, and you don’t feel comfy about moving him to his own room yet (rightly so) so I think your cot idea is the best one.

PickAChew · 11/04/2019 23:28

If space is tight in your room, move non sleeping furniture into what will be his room, for a few months. A cot is an easy swap for a chest of drawers, for example.

YourWinter · 11/04/2019 23:34

He should be in your room for a few more months yet, can you get a next-to-me crib that butts up against your bed? As PickAChew said, move other furniture into his room to make room for the cot in yours.

Original poster
mummywingingit · 11/04/2019 23:38

Thank you for those reassuring me about getting a crib. My mum has been offered one from a colleague so going to have that and get a mattress.
Puts me at ease then also as well as him

OP posts:
ishestrange · 11/04/2019 23:40

He should still be in with you...no wonder you're apprehensive about it. Trust your instincts (which are right). I think we moved DD at 6 months and I didn't feel at all ready then, but we did it during a heat wave, when it was 28 degrees in our bedroom, which is a loft conversion. We just felt it was too warm for her (it was too warm for us) so she moved into her own room downstairs. 9.5 weeks is tiny still.

Tink88 · 11/04/2019 23:41

Wow thought you were going to say 9.5 months. Baby should be in with you at 9.5 weeks not in own room.

ishestrange · 11/04/2019 23:43

PS I'm sure you know this anyway but you can always get a monitor that's on all the time if you're more comfortable with that when the time comes to sleep separately. We actually still use ours because of the layout of the house and the fact that DH snores..I wear serious ear plugs, so I would not actually hear DD (who is now 6) if she called out in the night. We sleep on different floors. If I turn our baby monitor up I can hear her breathing...its a tommee tippee digital one.

Original poster
mummywingingit · 11/04/2019 23:46

Thanks all...he will be staying with me! I've told husband we will collect crib from mums colleague tomorrow and nip to mothercare for a mattress and will have to make it fit! Joys of small houses with small rooms!

OP posts:
chuttypicks · 12/04/2019 11:52

A baby shouldn't go into their own room until at least 6 months old. They use their parents' breathing to regulate their own (or something like that)!

SpannerH · 12/04/2019 12:13

Mothercare mattress may be very expensive or not have the correct size in. Try and get the measurements and look online for mattress. Very, Amazon etc. all do good mattress.

MrsMoastyToasty · 12/04/2019 12:19

I moved my ds into his own room at 7 weeks. However they were adjoining rooms and we left both doors open. We barely had room to climb into bed prior to that, even with the removal of any furniture that wasn't built in. It also coincided with DH returning to shift work.
DS is now a strapping 12 year old.

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