To think this is creepy or is it just old school?

[Nuttychicken]

Long term lurker but I could really do with collective wisdom so braving it on AIBU. My DS 10 was out with my Dsis and DD (plus family friend). They were in a sport shop. DS wandered a few yards away from the others to look at something but D still visible. Without any warning an offer man passed my son and as he did so he pinched my son's cheek hard. The man then walked away. DS didn't mention anything straight away but he was obviously quite uncertain. By the time he said anything the old man was long gone.
I had an aunt who did this to me when I was little and I hated it but there's something about the fact this is a stranger touching my DS that I find really creepy and it feels almost predatory.
Am I overreacting?

Police would be an overreaction.

Plus, they're all too busy watching twitter for misgendering.

Hope, so how would you feel about that statement if, when Cctv footage viewed, the man also had his hands down his trousers!? GDPR means that I can't legally request to view the footage but the police can. Strictly speaking any unwanted physical touch can be considered assault. My DS certainly didn't ask to be pinched. My dilemma is whether or not this is sinister enough that I need to take it further. But thanks for the helpful judgy comment.

Did he have his hands down his trousers?

I don't think you need to take this further, OP.

I mean this kindly, but do you really think the police have the time & resources to check out store cctv for a man who pinched your son's cheek?

Yesterday at the store I work in we had a lost child. Parents nowhere to be found. Phoned police and because child was safe with us they took almost an hour to arrive. They really haven't got time to spend on small things like this.

We had something similar happen to my son. We told the fast food restaurant manager who was grateful as they'd actually had other warnings and this meant they could accurately check cctv.

If I was you I'd tell the store. Their staff can keep an eye out perhaps or if it's in a mall or a large store their security staff can. Even if this is 'old school behaviour' it's not really something people would do to a stranger. They can watch for repeatedly or escalating behaviour if - worryingly - this is someone testing what they can get away with.

Not sure he got a great look at the guy tbh but think that if police are interested they can check Cctv in the shop.

They won't unless a crime has been committed or they strongly suspect a crime has been committed.

In fact legally they can't.

No hands down trousers that I'm aware of. I was trying (and clearly failing) to make a point. It's bothered me that this happened when I wasn't there and I don't really know what happened. I didn't see it and my son's description is pretty vague.It's bothered me that my son has been touched by a stranger and whilst it isn't sexual in nature, it feels totally inappropriate. I certainly wouldn't be dialling 999 by any means and I do appreciate that the police are stretched. I'm not expecting them to rush around gathering forensics and interviewing said man under caution. Far from it. It just feels creepy and my lioness instinct is wanting to at least growl menacingly at the man for touching my cub. I would feel very differently about ruffled hair.

Your feelings are totally understandable but it's still not a police matter, unless they've had other (more sinister complaints) and they suspect this is the man they are after.

Sorry, I mean the police won't be looking into the CCTV unless they've had other more sinister complaints or they strongly suspect a crime has been committed.

Worraliberty. And that's fine with me. I don't have any expectations beyond the scenario you suggested.

Might be worth emailing the local police then, as it can't do any harm. If they're already worried about this guy, it might add another concern or it might not but it wouldn't do any harm.

@nuttychicken you can always report this sort of thing online to the Police as a non-emergency (or at least my local constabulary lets you do that) and say that you don't think it was a crime, but something that concerned you.

I did it when someone acted inappropriately towards my son, and got a 'thank you, we think we know who it was, but obviously can't do much about it', which I was fine with. My report was used in evidence against the man a year later because enough people had said they'd had similar experiences, and it had escalated.

Hope your DS is ok

Creepy as f, in my opinion. Not that a stranger should be touching anyone's children, but if he was a baby I would probably be more understanding -10 yrs old is way too old for strangers to be doing stuff like this without it being alarming. As an isolated incident though it doesn't mean much. I would leave it but I take the point that others have made about it potentially being part of a bigger picture.

It’s just someone ruffling a kids hair in the old fashioned manner.

Honestly, MN is turning into Netmums these days. Everyone’s a keyboard warrior offended by everything, or just here for the attention of getting onto the front page of the daily mail.

Maybe MN has had its day.

You might be right @Riversguidebook

Hands down trousers for God's sake

You just sound silly OP. You're never going to see this person again, you probably couldn't pick him out of a line up. Just forget about it!

Otherwise it's going to end up in family folklore as 'that time mum phoned the police because a man touched my cheek'

Actually, there was a news story this week about a woman who complained about her ex multiple times, got charged (and fined) with wasting police time, and was then murdered by him. That's devastating and wrong, of course.

There definitely should be a fine for this nonsense though. I'm cringing for you trying to explain your 'problem' on the phone.

Hang on. He pinched his cheek? His cheek on his face?

“Hello, police. Come quick. A man pinched my son’s face.”

Really???