On how we split household bills

[HMATA7]

My DP and I got a mortgage together 2 years ago (previously rented a flat together for 6 months prior to buying).
I currently earn around £400 a month more than he does (it can change monthly as he is on an hourly rate and works different shifts each week and I am on a salary).
Our agreement has always been that I pay £200 more towards the mortgage and then we split all household bills 50/50.
He has now said he thinks we should split all bills including the mortgage on a percentage calculation of what we earn which would leave me a good £200ish worse off a month.
I feel it’s a bit unfair because I actually work full time in an office and one night a week in a restaurant to make extra money (my choice) so I can save for things such as hen parties, home improvements etc. Also I have to pay for my car on finance which is actually quite cheap for a car. His DM bought him a car out right before we moved out together.

On another note, he absolutely hates his job and has done for the past 3 years and has been saying for 3 years he wants a better job but still doesn’t have one. I know it’s not particularly easy getting a new job but 3 years is a long time!

AIBU to want to keep things the same and carry on just paying more towards the mortgage?

He's BU. Nope, wouldn't have that. You're paying more towards the mortgage.

His suggestion isn’t automatically unfair, provided it only applies to income from your full-time job, not the extra you earn by working extra hours.

I think tell him if he wants to go and get a second job then fine, but otherwise you will be taking your second job out of the equation, as he agreed it was your fun money.
Also since he got given a car and you didn't you want that to be discounted...
The mortgage payments are both the same, so you own equal amounts...
Then your willing to split the rest of the bills equally....
Make sure you add in all the little bits you buy each month.....that you never bothered to count before...

Sounds like he is planning on reducing his earnings to me.
I'd tell him you will continue to pay a higher percentage of the mortgage but you want that reflected in the ownership. As for the bills - he should pay his share - he uses the stuff! Though you could look at reducing them if he needs to.
I would take your second job earnings out of the equation - put them in a savings account of your own. He can get a second job of his own if he needs more money.

As there are no kids involved i see no reason why you both shouldnt pay your equal share.

I really disagree with the premise of using percentage terms for household costs, especially while you’re not even married to someone

I work really fucking hard and want to enjoy the fruits of my labour and would expect my DP to do the same if he got a payrise etc rather than subsidising one another

Add car expenses as a household Bill, including your finance payments. He might find to his surprise he'll actually be worse off.

If everything is taken into account I think a proportionate split is ok. I have a similar arrangement with my husband.

I do think it seems harsh on you to include your restaurant shift "pocket money" as you're giving up your spare time for that! I sell stuff on eBay and can make quite a bit but because it's a sort of hobby in my spare time we don't count it as income. If my husband wanted a cut I might decide not to bother.

What? Why on Earth are you paying more towards the mortgage unless your equity increases along with your payments? That is absolutely bonkers! Especially when you’re not married or have kids!

Where does it stop?

What happens if he decides to quit his job altogether and you are earning 100% more than him? Are you then going to split the mortgage and bills 100/0?

No no no no no no NO!!!

I hope that if you split up you'll get a percentage higher portion of the house given you've been paying £200/month more.

If he's doing nothing about the bad job he's in and trying to get more money from you, is he really the sort of person you want to stay with?

In general, I would say that the fairest way if you are long term committed is everything in the pot, all bills/savings/joint spends get paid, and then what is left is split equally so that you have equal spending money.

However - I don't think that your extra night of work in a restaurant should be split - I would see that as you earning extra spends for yourself.

I guess the question is, how committed are you? Would you expect to still pay 50/50 if your income was less than his for some reason, or would you expect him to cover you if you, for example, got made redundant? Is this a case where its "my money" and "your money" or is it "shared lives, shared money?" Are you one unit, or two individuals?

You should both pay half of everything. Your second job should be yours only. Everything else either goes into family money/savings or stays separate. Why are you paying more of the mortgage?

If he decides to Jack his job in will you pay 100% mortgage?

He's being a dick, what are you going to do, sit down with a calculator at the end of each month? You're a couple not a business.

You're a couple in a comitted relationship with a mortgage. To my mind once you're at this stage you are past the "my money and your money" point, it should be one pot of family money that pays all the bills and what's left is for use as you both think appropriate.

I actually thought that was how most people operated, reading on here it seems I'm the odd one thinking that. :(

Personally I think you should pay everything 50:50. Why should you pay more because you earn more? Surely the benefit of having a better paid job is so that you have extra money? Alternatively you could both put all of your money into one 'pot' and pay everything from there.

Different arrangements work for different couples. I like the % approach especially when first merging finances and no kids. Then the one earning more saves more but also contributed more to the family.
In this case I would only calculate the basic income and the money form any extra jobs should be personal.

I agree, pay a percentage from your incomes but excluding the income from your extra job

Yeah I don’t get this whole I earn more do I pay more malarkey.... it’s 50:50 and that’s it!! If and when you have children things will change depending o whether you or him decide to be a sahp. Until then it’s 50:50

Ew. He does not sound like a keeper to me!

Is he great in every other way than being incredibly penny pinching?

Why can't you put everything in one pot and split it equally? Definitely think some pps are being harsh, if it was the other way round there would be uproar! I earn over 1k a month more than my DP, after tax, but it all goes into the joint account and we take x amount each (equal) for spending money.

When DH and I (then DP) bought our first house, pre-children, we split all the household costs 50/50. I think it's the fairest way, when you're not married and no children. As long as it doesn't leave the lower earning partner without a reasonable amount to live on.

I do generally believe in the higher earner paying proportionally more, and that's how DH and I do it, having each been in this position at different times. However, your set up has some anomalies to it - I wouldn't want to regularly be paying more of the mortgage but not have that reflected in ownership, if he had the benefit of no car payments but you weren't getting the same benefit. And what if he starts to get fewer and fewer shifts; does he just get to pay less?
I would probably agree to the percentage but on the following conditions:

• your second job money isn't included, that's for your
• your car payment is added into the overall

bills

• he makes a full on effort to find a new job with a regular salary