AIBU to say i know my own sons health - school asking for sick note?!?

[givemebooks]

My son is 11 and in his first year of secondary school (he does have some additional needs and has and EHCP)

On friday afternoon school phoned, he had developed a raging temp and could we come get him no problem we were surprised as he never gets ill! Think the last time was over 5 years ago!

The temp developed into a sore throat and on sunday we saw an out of hour GP who said it was all a viral infection and to let it play out keep up with paracetamol and rest.

Over the past 2 days he has remained off school the temp comes back if meds are not given (we have taken to alternating calpol and ibuprofen so he has something every 2 hours ish ) over night he developed a hacking cough bringing up green phlegm he has been up with me most of the night as could not settle sat up but could not lay down, poor fella is very poorly and we got him booked i to the gp as soon as the surgery opened this morning

This morning i phoned the school to say he would be off again and the women was so rude said they would accept today but they want him in tomorrow no matter what as over 3 days is unacceptable!

I explained he was ill and shattered that his cough and chest sound awful she would not listen said it did not matter he had been ill since friday 5 days was long enough to get over anything and if needed the school will give medication, i stated i will be going on the doctors advice when we see them and she stated they would need a sick note then??!?

Like doctors have nothing better to do that do sick notes for kids? Like my decison as a parent is not good enough! I am fuming if i was as unwell as him i would not be going to work!

We have now been to the doctors and he has a massive chest infection issues both sides when listening so is now on antibiotics, the doctor just laughed when i said what the school had said was a joke.

I called the school after and said i wanted to talk to them about the situation as my son will bot be in tomorrow and possibly not friday, i am now waiting for the welfare officer of the school to ring me as they will "deal with me"

Doctors have given me the appointment letter for today and i have a copy of the prescription! The school are saying a sick note or letter (which will cost £25 from the GP!!)

What a drama out of nothing but i am bloody fuming!

Anyone know my rights or been in the same situation! How do i tackle the school?

Thank you

[JonestheMail]

I agree with those who have said complain in writing to the head and chair of governors and cite th evidence given on this thread. The decision on whether he is well enough to go to school is yours as his parent, not some school receptionist with no medical training.

In any event a sick child belongs at home not schlepping out to the overworked GPs yet again to get a letter.

I have never taken my DC out of school to go on holiday and the oldest is in his twenties now. However, I also would not judge parents who did. Given the mark up on holidays during school breaks and the fact that some parents can't choose when they have their holidays, I totally understand why parents do it.

I think the £60 fine is bollocks personally, but given that it exists I'd regard it as a holiday overhead.

[cantkeepawayforever]

@fiveredbricks

Perfectly genuine teacher here - of course I don't simply take the child's opinion (even the child themselves when they come back to school, though tbh they are usually pretty reliable). I just send the information given to me to the person who manages the registers, they then follow established school procedures for verifying actual absence.

[Whatsername7]

I am a teacher and head of year. I completely agree it is ridiculous. The pressure for 100% attendance on schools is stupid. I was told off for telling the parent of a child who has glandular fever to keep her off as long as she needs.

[cantkeepawayforever]

I do the same for any attendance concern - do we know why X is late, Y has been absent every Monday for the last 3, can we investigate why, is Z's brother in because I haven't seen Z yet today etc etc. It's part of safeguarding.

[Friedspamfritters]

To be fair some schools do charge for passports. Everyone I know who has had it done by the class teacher has always offered a nice bottle of wine or gift card in return. The teacher does make more sense than the GP - I doubt our GP could recognise us but the teacher we see every day.

[Parker231]

My DH is a GP and this is one his pet hates. He doesn’t want to do these letters as it’s a waste of his time and it’s the parents decision and nothing to do with the GP.

[Piggywaspushed]

I have NEVER had anything for doing a pasport!! Bloody secondary school.

It is true I recognise my students but , actually, I have rarely 'known' them for the length of time required. But hey ho. Thread derail apologies!

[RomanyQueen1]

Ask school for the £25 and get a sick note.
They can't make you provide one at a cost to you.

[Darkbaptism]

Expecting a drs note is ridiculous, expecting you to send him him when still sick even more so!

My so takes 3 medications which suppress his immune system. I’m really worried about him starting secondary school in September as I imagine there will be unwell children who’s parents have sent them in due to pressure from the school. Firstly I fear he will be unwell with the number of bugs circulating, secondly I worry about the pressure I will face to send him in when not ready.

[cantkeepawayforever]

For children's passports, you have to verify how long you have known the parent, IIRC. Unless I have taught several siblings, it is really rare for me to have known the parent for long enough (large school with drop off and collection well away from the classrooms) to be able to certify their identity without perjuring myself....

[starbrightnight]

Before long there will be an under-the-counter black market for blank GP appointment reminder cards they sometimes dish out if you request one. Ditto dentists, or perhaps they wouldn't count.

In fact it might be worth getting some cards printed so you're covered in future. It would cost less than the £25.00 being quoted.

Seriously, I said it earlier but I do think this is worth a letter to the Head and Chair of
Governors. I think they would be appalled by the way your enquiry was handled by an admin staff member who clearly overstretched her position; at the rudeness and the bullying as well as the incorrect information conveyed to you.

[givemebooks]

Thank you all so much for the support

I write this from my sun lounger in the Bahamas

In reality i am cleaning my sofa again after my son had his first taste of amoxicillin earlyer this afternoon and reacted by spitting it back out and then been sick on the sofa (i did mention before he has ASD and taste and texture can make him react)

He has managed to take the second lot just now so that's something and i will be staying up till midnight to get a second dose in him for over night

Fingers crossed he will be on the mend soon!

Will update with my call and trip to take the much needed evidence to school tomorrow!

Feel like turning up in a sundress and sun glasses and large sun hat pulling a wheely case holding fake tickets and my passport and telling them to hurry up i am late (i amuse myself )

I have taken on board what many of you said and i will be taking this further if i am treated the same way!

[givemebooks]

And all my emojis turned to sad faces!!??!! Lol

Im having no luck today! :)

[MatthewBramble]

Our GPs local practice refuse to give sick notes for schoolchildren. It's taken years but the local schools have finally got the message.

[colouringinpro]

My ds with significant mental illness resulting in paralysis has also been hassled to return to school full time and I've been threatened with a referral to social services. It is Totally disgusting the pressure that schools place on sick kids and their parents

[holdingonbyathread]

Do you know what is equally ridiculous? All this fuss and nonsense from the school for a few days sickness on a good record whereas my son hasn't attended school since October due to unsupported ASD and no one cares or has asked for any evidence! How can education be so two-faced!

[cunningartificer]

This is a sign of the times. Schools are under pressure about attendance and that filters down to the attendance officer. No excuse for her rudeness, but an indication of what she thinks are the school’s priorities.

Do write to the head—reasonably , as you have here—so he or she knows what’s going on in their name.

It’s utterly unfair. You’re quite entitled to sign your son off school (and you should, because he’s ill!), and you shouldn’t be made to feel like a criminal for it.

[givemebooks]

@holdingonbyathread Good morning and i hope you are well, the way you son is been treated is awful!! Where is the support we had so many issues with my sons primary school about lack of support

My son is a changed child at his new secondary he is supported and i cannot fault the SEN team at all

Please i know you have proberly done everything you can think of but do not give up, contact the council sen team contact your MP take it to the highest you can and then some get on to citizen advice about legal representation

A very un mumsenty hug to you but you deserve it

[Acis]

Do you know what is equally ridiculous? All this fuss and nonsense from the school for a few days sickness on a good record whereas my son hasn't attended school since October due to unsupported ASD and no one cares or has asked for any evidence

This! This type of hypocrisy happens time and time again for children with SEN. Apparently, for some children missing one day of school is disastrous, yet for children with learning difficulties it can somehow be completely acceptable for them to be out of school for months or years on end.

[MontStMichel]

Do you know what is equally ridiculous? All this fuss and nonsense from the school for a few days sickness on a good record whereas my son hasn't attended school since October due to unsupported ASD and no one cares or has asked for any evidence

ITA! DD was out of school for 10 months, after she decided quite rightly imo, that her school could not cope with her medical condition and the LA ignored the school’s request for 1:1 support! The LA provided her with no education at home at all in 10 months! So, apparently that did not matter to her education while a few days/week does to “normal children”!

[highstresslevels]

I am not one to be dramatic, but I would ring again and hopefully speak to the same secretary, record the conversation then request a meeting with the headteacher and play it, also go armed with all the information you need to show them how ridiculous this is. I would be livid, and as I say things like this do not bother me usually!

[holdingonbyathread]

Givemebooks - thank you 😍

Luckily, ds now has a place at an autism specialist school for September after lots of fighting. But he spent most of year 2 on a reduced timetable of an hour a day and then will have been at home for all of year 3 except for the first 3 weeks. He'll start for year 4.

How is that level of missing education acceptable to all but a few days with an infection is not? Because it's disability discrimination and seen that children with SEN aren't worthy of a robust education and they don't matter in the same way 😢😢

[Gatehouse77]

Jeez, I'd have had to spend a fortune if our school asked as DS barely managed full weeks in Y13 due to MH. No request for Dr's notes or 'evidence' other than my word on an answerphone.

[Acis]

holdingon, have you made a formal complaint to the council and/or gone to the Local Government Ombudsman? It sounds like you would have a good case.

[givemebooks]

Good afternoon! Not that anyone was waiting with baited breath but i did not post again this morning due to an appointment! And i now have my DH down with the same infection as my DS but of course he's a man so its a thousand tines worse LOL.

Anyway i contacted the school this morning through to the same women again the attendace officer she asked for his name form and reason and when i started to say she said oh is he still not right??? Why?? I said we had him to the drs and he was now on antibiotics.

I said after the phonecall yesterday which i found very rude and with her demanding a sick note (brave me standing up for myself!!) That i contact the dr who refused a sick note and then i contacted the head of year who said the appointment and prescription were enough.

The women changed her tune said they as a school have spoken to local GP surgeries and they know that they need medical evidence!!?? Not sick notes but appointment cards and prescriptions

I said that i found her whole position very confusing as she said a sick note but now parents and GP surgeries have to be psychic and know what she means??!!.

Anyway i finished off saying my son my rules(go brave me!)i will decide if my son is well enough to attend school! If the school are not satisfied then they can mark it as unauthorized and fine me! I will take it further then!

She started apologising and saying of course they did not want my son in school when he was so poorly!!

I said he might be in tomorrow if he can sleep well and the medication continues to help, if not i guess i have to deal with her again tomorrow!

Again thank you all for your support