Back to work and bodily functions

[alittleprivacy]

Ok so, fair warning, this is about pooping and I've nc because it's embarrassing and I'm absolutely identifiable under my previous name.

I've been a SAHM for a very, very, very long time (pretty much my 30s) but have a new job starting soon. I'm extremely excited, job is perfect, hours are perfect, it's something I can happily see myself doing for the next 20+ years, etc. However, I'm getting increasingly worried about my toilet habits. Over the years of being at home most of the early mornings, I have become very, very regular. I get up in the morning, have breakfast and coffee and an hour or so later I poop. This was initially fine but as the years have gone on I've become less and less able to adapt to changes.

If I'm not home in the morning, I find it close to impossible to poop. I can't poop in public toilets, at someone else's house, if someone else is in my house, I have difficulty on group holidays, etc. Basically if anyone else is around. (Unless it's my child, I've long adapted to the moment I sit on the toilet being the exact moment I hear, "where are you mummy?") I also find that if I 'miss my window' and am not at home at the right time I just can't go later in the day, even if I'm all alone for hours. Instead I get a sore, bloated tummy, lose my appetite for the day and by late afternoon get horrible stinky gas. And it can take a few days to get back to normal. This can happen for days at a time when I'm on holiday and it's genuinely so awful that I never go on a trip anymore without Milk of Magnesia (which has it's own downsides).

I don't know how to deal with this and working. I can't honestly remember how I used to manage before, it was entirely unremarkable and not something that I have reason to remember. I've been getting up extra early in the mornings and managing to go before the school run but all this has done, is divide my need in two. I go in the morning, do the school run and need to dash back home to finish up. If I don't it's not as bad as when I don't go at all, but it's still not great. I'm out and about a lot at the minute, meeting friends for brunch, getting jobs done on the house, having doctors/dentists appointments, etc. All the things that I'll have less time to do once I start my job. And I'm not adapting. By bedtime I have a bloated tummy, my farts are rotten and when I am home alone in the mornings I need a lot of toilet time.

Has anyone else dealt with a similar issue. How long will it take for me to get over this stupid inability to poop in anything other than perfect conditions? Or even will I get over it? The nature of my new job is one where I'll have limited time and ability to go to the toilet. I'm having visions of spending the latter half of the week staying downwind of everyone I know, then downing half a bottle of Milk of Magnesia every Friday night and spending Saturdays clearing out a week's worth of back up instead of fun family time.

[FurrySlipperBoots]

Maybe a stronger coffee first thing in the morning? Espresso? Then you should be sorted before you leave for work.

[Missingstreetlife]

Coffee and cigarettes have laxative effect. Mom not so good for regular use. More fruit and veg, esp green leafy and root. Fybogel or psyllium husk add fibre, apples are good, they contain pectin, rhubarb, dulcolax is gentle laxative, caricol is great if you afford it, dried fruit, don't overdo it, pineapple. Prunes or apricots. Porridge, wholemeal bread, brown rice. Prebiotics, FOS is good. Enzyme digest.

[Slicedpineapple]

But not at work apparently

I used to hold it until I got home and gave myself horrendous stomach ache. Until I realised nobody else cared and we all have to do it.

Been a work pooper for many years now and I'm proud.

[Slicedpineapple]

Oh, and the other thing to console yourself with is that if you need to go during the day, they are effectively paying you to take a dump. The easiest fiver anyone could make!

Either your poops take ages or you get paid a lot of money an hour. I think I'm probably maxing out at about £2 per poo.

[Fairylea]

I am exactly the same as you op and when I worked I got up an hour earlier to set myself off..!

I just cannot poo in public (well, not literally in public but I mean out and about!) or at work. Ever. Unless I had a serious dodgy stomach I guess.

I am always by people saying they shit at work. I mean, not in a bad way I’m just surprised people can do it! There’s no way I could ever relax enough to pop one out in the work toilet.

[ScreamScreamIceCream]

Depending on the workplace there are frequently toilets that aren't used by everyone else especially in the mornings. Use a cubicle in one of those to have a poo in.

[Figure8]

My body had adapted it's poo time so I go in the morning before work, and 2.5 minutes after I arrive home again.

Hope that helps.

[ChristmasFluff]

Yup, I am a natural early-riser, and I go about an hour after I get up. Coffee as soon as you get up, then another as you eat breakfast, will help with getting you going.

[MrsElizabethShelby]

Cannot understand those who get hung up on or judge those that use a toilet for I tried designed purpose.

I just cannot get worked up over it. Not washing your hands though. THAT makes you a dirty skank.

OP I make sure I get up with enough time to eat breakfast, drink my tea and use the facilities before I leave for work.

You need to do the same. Even if that means getting up at 5am.

Your anxiety about it will not be helping. Have you always felt this way?

[ginghamtablecloths]

I'm sure your body will adjust in time and you'll get into a routine. Don't inhibit yourself by worrying.

[maggiecate]

Scientists have done studies on this and there are all sorts of psychological and physiological triggers at work. We're animals, and a lot of animals won't go until they feel 'safe.' For most of us home = safety. You might find that once you settle in your new job your bowel will settle in as well and you'll be able to relax enough to go.

www.goodhousekeeping.com/health/news/a46741/why-you-cant-poop-in-public/

Bit if not there are tricks you can do. Try and get plenty fibre, stay hydrated, exercise, and remember - even the queen farts!
www.prevention.com/health/a20446888/make-yourself-poop/

[redexpat]

Ive got an app called yoga monkey and it has a 15 minute sequence for digestive problems. Works wonders for me.

Your body might adjust and find a new rhythm.

[ems137]

I totally get it OP. Some PPs think it's a conscious choice because you don't want to poo elsewhere but it's not. I'm exactly the same, maybe worse.

Throughout the week I get up and have a poo within an hour. On a weekend when everyone is home and the routine is different I can't go. I also have to take laxatives away with us on holidays.

Your dilemma is one that I've actually thought about when I think about returning to work next year!

[Bringbackthestripes]

Op I totally understand. I can not go in a public place or at work either. I wouldn’t even go when visiting family for the day if I needed to. I have a 20 min window of trying before I set off for work. If I don’t go then, then I know I’m in for a very uncomfortable day.

I have no idea why I care so much. We don’t even have cubicles at work just a single toilet on each floor and the men certainly have no fear of pooping (or leaving the bowl streaked) I did insist on air freshener for each loo but, if I walk in and it stinks, I walk out and use another one because I wouldn’t want anyone thinking I did it

[aprarl]

Who judges other people for needing a poo in the daytime at work? "Talked about" - what the hell is wrong with you?!

OP - could you try things like earplugs or headphones and play music?

[SnuggyBuggy]

We had this really grim person who managed to stink out the whole surrounding area and sadly the kitchen was next to the toilet

[DontCallMeCharlotte]

We have a lad called Jack in our office who goes regularly at work (uses VIPoo - honestly that stuff is a gamechanger!). After one great unsinkable turd which took ALL DAY to disappear, he is now known as Jack Shit and/or Jumping Jack Flush. He doesn't know.

[YeOldeTrout]

If you "can't" defecate except in a safe home-type place but otherwise go at same time every day...

What actually happens if you're not in a safe place when the usual time arrives? Do you fart like a steam engine? Writhe around on the floor? Start crying with stomach pain? I bet it will come out given long enough.

[Teateaandmoretea]

Cannot understand those who get hung up on or judge those that use a toilet for I tried designed purpose.

And that is helpful how exactly....?

I get it OP and don't know what the answer is, I'll go in the office before 8am cos no one else is there or wait. I've always been the same, not sure where it comes from.

[eyore123]

It does eventually shift. I was a morning person and now I'm 'as soon as I get through the door in the evening person. Takes a while for the body to adapt

[kayakingmum]

Me and my partner are morning poopers (except I'm less regular now I'm pregnant :( ) and go before work.
I agree with the poster who said food, drink and moving around helps to get things moving.
I think you'll be fine. Try not to worry about it.

[SallyWD]

I'm like you. I find it really hard to go if I'm staying with other people. I've always been like this. I often hold it in until my husband's gone to work! Funnily enough I was always fine to do it at work as long as no one else was in the bathroom. If I went in and then someone else appeared I'd just leave and try again a bit later. Take some VIPoo if you're worried. As others say, starting your day early may help too. Don't worry about it!

[UtterlyUnimaginativeUsername]

I used to commute two hours each way and couldn't poo in work. I had terrible digestive problems and used to have terrible cramps in the car, it was like being in labour. Now I live five minutes from work and will sometimes pop home at teabreak for a poo Life is so much better!

[mummybug355]

I have to say this I plan my toilet trip so it's in work time so I get paid to poop lol

[alittleprivacy]

Thanks for all the advice. I have been getting up earlier, 2ish hours before I have to set off but it's like I'm not completing. I might try to start an exercise routine into my morning instead of sitting down browsing the internet. The movement might be the game changer. It's absolutely not a conscious decision just like a state of inertia that's come about after a decade at home. I definitely never had an issue in my previous work life. I'd love to just get over it as it's caused me some very unpleasant times. I have tried VIPoo but it doesn't really help my mental block. Hopefully the exercise will help or I'll just adapt quickly.