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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU not to get annoyed about being called a "Princess" at work today?

22 replies

Whitegrenache · 09/04/2019 22:57

Ok I'm a senior account manager for a Pharma company and today we had an external company Train us on negotiating skills -

One of the exercises we had to do didn't give us much time to get the beat out of us (5mins)
I mentioned to the facilitator that we don't have enough time to really do ourselves justice

He called me a "princess"

I did call him out on it but laughed it off

On reflection was this the right thing to do or was HE being unreasonable to call me this?

I'm a bit confused

Thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
Whitegrenache · 09/04/2019 22:58

Is it ever ok to call someone this is the question that is running through my mind

OP posts:
EarringsandLipstick · 09/04/2019 23:01

He was absolutely being rude AND unprofessional.
Calling someone a 'princess' is never meant nicely. In a work context, definitely not ok.

SkintAsASkintThing · 09/04/2019 23:03

I call my ds princess Grin

It depends how it was said, tone of voice etc.......I wouldn't take.offence either if there's no malice behind it. [santa]

notharryssally · 09/04/2019 23:08

Sexist, rude, and unprofessional. I would be furious.

Featherstep · 09/04/2019 23:10

What exactly did he say?
It doesn't really depend on the tone of voice IMO. It sounds like he was calling you precious. But even saying 'looking good, princess' in a complimentary way is unprofessional and not work appropriate. At all.

Original poster
Whitegrenache · 09/04/2019 23:11

He called me a princess as I had fed back that we didn't have enough time to complete the task

OP posts:
ForTheTape · 09/04/2019 23:13

What happened to his negotiating skills when you made the comment? He resorted to sexist, dismissive language to belittle your judgment.

It's almost - but not quite - funny Hmm

In a professional workshop environment I don't think it's ever acceptable to dismiss a comment in such a way.

TildaTurnip · 09/04/2019 23:14

He meant it as an insult and chose to use a sexist insult so I would take it as such.

KittyKel · 09/04/2019 23:15

Was he in character as part of the training role play? in real life negotiations you might not get much time to prep and he was calling you out on that or trying to be antagonistic to throw you off your game to show what can fudge up a negotiation? (Done a lot of negotiation training...bloody awful)

Takethebuscuitandthesink · 09/04/2019 23:16

I would put it aside but make sure you never give this guy any help or support should he need it in the future.

KittyKel · 09/04/2019 23:17

Hope you nailed it anyway, just to prove him wrong!

pallisers · 09/04/2019 23:19

It depends how it was said, tone of voice etc.......I wouldn't take.offence either if there's no malice behind it

Maybe when you are buying lamb chops and the butcher says "there you go princess" - maybe. If you ask for the fat to be trimmed and the butcher says "you are being a princess" then even there it is offensive.

There is no tone of voice that makes it appropritate to tell someone you are training that they are being a princess when they give you legitimate feedback. None. It is sexist and unprofessional.

OP, you should give appropriate feedback to his employer and to your own company.

Original poster
Whitegrenache · 10/04/2019 20:53

It was in the context of a normal
Discussion with me remarking that more time would have been better.
It certainly wasn't meant in a nice way- more of a suggestion that I was been demanding!
He then did a mock apology in front of everyone and made me look like a fool
And tried to put me down - I just laughed at him then nailed my role play later that day!

My female manager this morning said it was outrageous and the irony is I work for a specialist women's health company whose passion is improving women's quality of life.

OP posts:
ScreamingValenta · 10/04/2019 20:54

He wasn't really selling his negotiating skills, was he?

Original poster
Whitegrenache · 10/04/2019 20:58

To add to pallisers point

I'm from the north east and often call
People love or pet but it's always intended as a term of endearment and I use it for men and women.

I'd like to think he meant it as a joke and hence why I didn't take it further.

I'm have never really considered myself as a radical feminist and love men as companions and friends as well as colleagues- just got me thinking if I accept too much and brush it off as a joke x

OP posts:
managedmis · 10/04/2019 21:00

He wouldn't have called a bloke Prince, would he?

It's derogatory

Original poster
Whitegrenache · 10/04/2019 21:05

Excellent point

OP posts:
SussexBonfireViking · 10/04/2019 21:16

that is DEFINITELY! insulting

we have a program at work, and its flaky and annoying, and I always say its being princessy

MorningsEleven · 10/04/2019 21:27

If one of my close colleagues called me a princess (as opposed to a pain in the arse for once) I'd laugh. If some visiting shit for brains said it, I'd kick off.

littlebillie · 10/04/2019 21:28

Did you punch him - refer to clever women in a patronising way

AverageMan · 10/04/2019 21:35

YABU. Different people use different terms of endearment, depending on their age and background. You just have to take it in the spirit in which it was intended.

OldBean2 · 10/04/2019 21:56

Unless he was a market stall holder in the East End... then no this not being reasonable.

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