To be freaking out about school holidays

[SeriouslyStrongCheese]

So my DD is 2 and for some reason today I am already freaking out about school holidays when she does go to school.

I work 9-5 Monday to Friday
DH works 9-6 Monday to Friday.

I work for a large flexible company, I can buy holiday and I could change my hours but through negotiation I.e do 6 days a week but shorter hours each day during term time or I could negotiate dropping a day but obviously a large pay cut. My DH works for a small local business and only gets 20 days holiday per year + bank hols (the absolute legal minimum is that's all they can afford due to being a small business) he cannot cut his hours or be flexible. Neither of us can work from home. I'm having a panic about school holidays- apparently there are 65 days a year school holidays plus inset days. How do working parents manage this?! Please impart your wisdom and stop me panicking! Just to add we cant afford for either of us to become a SAHP or take a career break.

@snop yes we really want to have time together otherwise all this working feels sort of pointless so would like to have a week or two off together as well as making it all work and seeing if we can afford clubs etc as well.

Childminder and holiday club. Also DH can swap weekdays for weekends. So for example, for the next May half term, he’s working on bank holiday Monday and also Saturday in exchange for two weekdays off.

And we have two weeks together too as a family but otherwise we split all our leave around the school holduays to keep cost down.

What age do people start leaving their children alone/with friends etc during the working day in school holidays?

Usually age 11 when at secondary school to leave alone for INSET or holidays

I compress hours to mean I always work 4 days a week. Dh also works 4 days a week (took pay cut to do this). Leaves 4 days a week to cover. I wfh 1 day a week and take 1 day AL. Dh takes 1 day AL. So can cover a week by only each taking 1 day of leave. I can also build up a bit of TOIL where I can.

It’s still tricky to work out the summer holidays so that we can take a decent chunk of annual leave. Last year I treated myself to 4 weeks unpaid parental leave which has made the year a breeze. Had some savings from inheritance.

I get 27 days plus bank holidays. DH gets 33 including bank holidays.

I’m local to you OP and my DD started year R this year.

Our plans include:

Sharing annual leave (Easter hols I’m taking a week and DH is doing the other)

Sending her to grandparents for May half term and end of August (only 4 days each time as includes a bank holiday). If she gets homesick they will bring her back home and stay here with us whilst we go to work.

Holiday clubs. She’s tried one today as a test run for the summer. £25 for the day 8-6 and she’s swam, done crafts, gardening, climbing wall and team games (bulldog etc). Had a whale of a time.

I haven’t resorted to friends yet as I can’t repay the favour easily but some have offered the odd day here and there.

Your child’s school will also likely offer holiday clubs (or local schools might). DD’s has one.

You can also apply to take unpaid parental leave in week long chunks. Google unpaid parental leave and look at the gov.uk advice.

I also work 4 days. Yes the 20% cut was painful but worth it for childcare and generally keeping up with life.

It’s tough and I have a crazy spreadsheet to keep track of it all but somehow we are just about coping!

Ooh unpaid leave! That's a good shout! I'd have to weigh up the cost of clubs etc vs unpaid leave. If a high cost club is £50 a day yes I get paid quite a bit more than that but if I can afford it I'd get more time with my daughter so that would probably be worth it.

You aren’t guaranteed to get unpaid leave granted, so don’t rely on that!

Forgot to add that this year we should achieve a week off together in August and October half term.

Assuming no serious days off for illnesses for either DD as sometimes have to burn annual leave on that.

@JammyC if you wouldn't mind could you let me know what club that was please? Sounds amazing. Your situation sounds similar to mine I could take unpaid leave and I could drop a day although it would hurt. Really good to know there's others out there local in a similar position.

I work term time, but my friends do a mixture of annual leave (usually take 1 week together so you can have a family holiday), grandparents or aunties and holiday clubs. Given your working hours you will probably rely on a childminder or wrap around care for before and after school, in holidays they often do a holiday club too.
Clubs near me are from £10-£30 per day.

Flip the whole thing on its head - everyone else manages it somehow and you will too. Decent holiday clubs often don't need to advertise much so you won't even hear of them until your child gets to school.

I will say I think it's vastly easier if one of you works PT. That gives you a couple of days a week covered by default, every week of the hols, and then the children are doing 2-3 days childcare here, 2-3 days there, interspersed with you taking time off. Generally we found holidays less of a worry than we'd anticipated. More of an issue for us in infant school was the amount of term time parental attendance expected - shows, assemblies, open mornings.

Once they start secondary, many will be home alone some evenings after school for a couple of hours, and they'll be mostly getting themselves to school. We haven't left our Y7 home alone all day in the hols yet but we'd be fine to do 9-3 for the odd day.

The trouble with swapping care with other parents (IMO) is that it's OK now and again, and playdates are fine, but say you have a week off, or even a couple of days off, do you really want some random children in tow for the whole of that? Or do you want time with just your children?

A friend had a day off a week and swapped care with other parents - even if everyone had only one child, that would be 5 kids to look after on your day off .

Yes clubs can be expensive, but it's cheaper than nursery.

You are entitled to have unpaid parental leave granted. The way it works is that the company can make a case for not granting the specific dates you have chosen, but they then have to allow same time within a 6 month period.

It’s all on the government website, including eligibility and process. Has to be 1 week increments unless you have a child with a disability (to acknowledge different needs in terms of days off here and there).

I put in for 6 weeks originally, but chatted with manager as I didn’t want to make things too difficult and wanted to come to an agreement. After an informal chat I out in for 4 weeks unpaid and 2 weeks AL which was granted. I started the discussion in the January before the summer. My thinking was, if they said no to the summer weeks, I would ask for time off at other holidays, still saving my AL for later in the leave year (runs April to April).

I do have flexible employers though - local government. But I think I was the first to go for it, because HR were a little perplexed at first and hadn’t realised that the allowance/eligibility had changed to cover birth to 18 years rather than the former birth to 5 (I think it was).

I’m not doing it this year because I don’t want to be a pain in the neck and I like my management. But I will the year after next I think because is the year youngest due to go to secondary school and eldest to university so want to have freedom that summer. Means I can save up too!

Yes clubs can be expensive, but it's cheaper than nursery

Exactly. Round here they go up to about £45 a day but DC get all sorts for that - quad biking, zipwires, kayaking and it's less than we'd pay year round for nursery. It's very few weeks a year we need them so even if it cost more than I earned that week (which it might if we had 3 kids), over the year it's not a huge spend.

My first year of this, 1 thing to be aware of, at least in Leicester is that most holiday clubs are year 1 upwards so I haven't been able to find any that take my 4yr old reception age child. Luckily the private nursery she was at before starting school are happy to take her.

Should be better next year though and options are huge. PGL style outdoorsy activities, sports clubs, arts and crafts, more varied general clubs that do a bit of everything....

ive just googled it and it looks like lots of the individual schools do their on.so when she starts,or if you know where she is going maybe check the school website.
check fb.
please stop worrying yourself over this now.becsue actually who knows what will have changed for you and for the systems between now and then so your setting your head up to fall into a spiral of storytelling of what ifs and hows.you will adapt.im sure you've done many things in the past two years your previous self would have been scared witless over coping with.
your a mum.you can do it.

You sound like me OP. Looked at nurseries when pregnant and booked a place before he was born, on the phone to wrap around club before a place was confirmed, scoping out holiday cover when he still in nursery! Forewarned is forearmed!

Best place to ask is on local Facebook groups. I found that some clubs don’t advertise outside of Facebook or word of mouth so a google search wouldn’t throw them up. Some have age restrictions so if you have a young for year child (mine was 4 at the start of reception and 4 still at the end...) you may still be able to access a nursery place ( if they have availability) but may be too young for clubs that are 5+. You will probably also find they do short days though some will add on an hour before or after if you ask and pay more.

Options near me are;

• large and fabulous nursery (8-6) with club for school age children
• out of term club run at term time only pre-school (8-6)
• club some weeks run by school wrap around (8.30- 5.30)
• science club; adhoc days 9.30- 3.00
• club at local private school 8.30- 5.00
• tennis club, 9.30-3.00
• sports club (college with leisure centre) age 7 plus
• dance days, adhoc, 9.30-3.00
• trampoline park club, 9.30-4.30
• theatre productions, ad-hoc weeks
• football club, ad hoc weeks, 9.30-3.30 6 and above. When my boy is old enough I will work short days so he can do this. Not an ideal way to use holiday but he will enjoy this one
• other schools wrap around care, normally happy to welcome other kids too

Round by me, no childminders hence my anxiety to secure the breakfast and after school club place. Also very elderly parents who could do an emergency short day but no more.

My only other tip is to look en route or near to where you work if that is some distance from home. This reduces the impact of an 8.00am start for me as I’m already part of the way to work. 8.00am start by my house, or in the opposite direction to where I work, would make life hard for me.

The OP on the other thread got a ridiculously hard time. Parents want options. They don’t expect other people to pay for them nor do they think school is childcare.

DD‘s Primary ran a reasonably priced holiday club for all but 4 weeks of the year (2 last weeks of summer and 2 weeks at Xmas weren’t covered). You booked it through the school so it was easy.

Might be worth checking this when you apply for school places.

Locally council run centres do cheap holiday clubs too.

Childminder and family is other options. I also accrued dats in Lieu whenever I could to pad out my holidays.

Thank you all reading with great interest

A lot of schools do an after school and breakfast club and then there is barracudas school holidays clubs or similar that take children as small as 4 they work on a buy one week get one free at times and remember at a certain age you get x amount of free nursery hours
DH does shifts and I’m full time working DH family live hours away mine are non existent so Ive done the lion share of all child care I also had the benefit of buying holidays but had to take eg 2 days holiday DH would have DC on rest days then I’d take another couple days leave we’d swap at train stations etc if DH was on nights and the times when DC we’re unwell was a nightmare as had no one! BUT it will get better you will work it between you and the benefit is you’ll both have quality time with DC too just make sure to factor in some time off together if holiday allows good luck x

You just get childcare.