To not want to communicate through daughters grandparents

[lilycaroline12]

My daughters father wants me to communicate through his parents and I have done the past 4 years as he gave me ultimatum that otherwise he would not see my daughter and I was desperate for her to have a meaningful relationship with him. The parents are very strange and I first met them back in the 90s when they were high on pills at a rave with their own kids, one of whom was 14 at the time. They are dysfunctional and co-dependent in many ways. I've said that I don't want to communicate through them anymore as they are quite intimidating and manipulative, if I don't do what they want they bad mouth me widely, including they have been into the school before and complained to teachers. So, regardless, they are not backing down and seem to feel they are well within their legal right to have me continue to go through them regardless of the impact on my self esteem / MH (which they say is irrelevant). On top of this the father refuses to have my daughter in school holidays or visit her in her home town, and I feel her travelling over 100 miles every fortnight is too much for her. I've tried to raise the issue several times over the past few years and each time they said no mediation and they just wont see my daughter. The last straw came at Xmas when without mine or my daughters knowledge this was going to happen, her father left her at his sisters on Xmas day for the remaining two nights, taking her siblings back to the family home with him. So I told the grandparents in December that I wont have contact with them and for my daughters father to contact me directly, and they adamantly refuse and are now taking me to court. To add insult to injury they now refuse to have my daughter ever again for Xmas (she loves double presents!) as I've dared to rock the boat. I could go on and on, my self esteem is in shatters after dealing with this family for nearly 7 years, do I stand a chance in court? Having to pull out of buying my first home to fund a case so currently not got legal advice

[Chloemol]

Grandparents don’t have any rights, so not really sure why they think they do. The solicitors letter is probably a try on. Advise her father that he now needs to contact and deal with you directly about your daughter, and that you are happy for him to have access to her but not the grandparents due to the way they have treated you. Get your own advice as well. One final question, I understand that you want her to have a relationship with her father, but looking at how both he and her grand parents have treated her is this really the best thing for her? The relationship seems to be driven by you rather than him wanting to see her

[Nanny0gg]

Is he paint maintenance?

[Nanny0gg]

*paying

[Mummyoflittledragon]

Bottom line, the gps don’t get to call the shots. You don’t have to deal with these nasty people. Your ex either deals with you direct or not at all. Are the gps taking your dd to see their father / his other kids eow?

If he’s agreed not to contact you directly that’s his concern, not yours and ridiculous. I know it’s really sad that your dd may not have much of a relationship with her siblings as a result. However you can’t have her being dumped on her aunt and excluded from the family house. Is this a one off?

This all sounds like your ex doesn’t want to make much of an effort. My only concern then would be the gps suing for access. They have had regular contact till now.

[lilycaroline12]

OK have accepted need to get solicitor involved and get advice. The grandparents im sure will sue for contact, and have had previous contact (though moaned profusely to everyone who would listen what a burden I am on their family for having her one day a week after school!! then demanded their 'contact' back when I politely stopped it). They are always going to hate me and make my life miserable, it makes me feel so hopeless and have kind of accepted we will need to move to a new area even though my daughter loves her school

[lilycaroline12]

He pays maintenance 215 per month, which the document he sent through this morning claims is over a quarter of his wages which shouldn't be right. I am aware he ahs a business also which has meant he can cut his employed hours down so I think he hasn't included that. Basically their bullying has worked always in the past and they know that