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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

New divorce laws

35 replies

Home77 · 09/04/2019 12:07

What do you think about it? AIBU in thinking it may result in more divorces / or be a good thing?

Link here or cut and paste below.

Spouses will no longer have the right to contest divorces under reforms that will stop people from being trapped in unhappy marriages.

At present husbands and wives are entitled to fight an application for divorce, forcing their partner to wait five years if no split can be agreed. The new law, to be announced today by David Gauke, the justice secretary, is to be introduced within three months.

Under the new arrangements, as soon as one partner initiates the divorce it cannot be stopped by the other party and a split can happen within six months.

The most widely reported case involving a contested divorce centred on Tini Owens, 68, from Worcestershire, who says that she is trapped in a loveless marriage. Last July the Supreme Court ruled that Ms Owens had failed to demonstrate that her relationship with Hugh Owens, 80, a mushroom farmer, had irretrievably broken down because of his unreasonable behaviour.

The ruling meant that under existing law she must wait until 2020 for the marriage to end on the ground that they will have been separated for five years. The new legislation will also include an end to fault-based divorce, meaning that couples no longer have to play the “blame game” to end their marriage quickly.

At present couples have to apportion fault for the irretrievable breakdown of the marriage, usually citing “unreasonable behaviour”, even where they agree to a divorce. One party must blame the other for the breakdown of the marriage, with adultery or unreasonable behaviour being the most common reasons. Desertion is also legally accepted but it is rarely cited.

There is cross-party support for the reform. The government’s bill fulfils a key part of The Times’s Family Matters campaign, run with the Marriage Foundation.

Mr Gauke said: “While we will always uphold the institution of marriage, it cannot be right that our outdated law creates or increases conflict between divorcing couples.”

Sir Paul Coleridge, founder of the Marriage Foundation and a former High Court family law judge, expected that religious groups would criticise the new law for allegedly opening the floodgates to divorce, but he added: “The current law does not prevent people from getting divorced; it just keeps them in marriages they do not want to be in.”

Aidan Jones, the chief executive of Relate, a relationship support charity, said: “The fault-based system led parting couples to apportion blame, often making it harder for ex-partners to develop positive relationships as co-parents.”

OP posts:
wornoutboots · 09/04/2019 13:59

I wrote my ex husband's complaint against me on his behalf for him to divorce me (for unreasonable behaviour). It would have been much more civilised for us to be able to jointly divorce instead of choosing who was going to be "blamed"

We still get along ok, we just didn't want to be married to each other any more and were not in love at all.

These changes can only be a good thing.

pointythings · 09/04/2019 20:29

This is long overdue. In the Netherlands (where I'm from originally), couples who are in agreement and are divorcing amicably can use the same solicitor! It's about time we had a grown up system in the UK so that we can all acknowledge that sometimes relationships run their course.

I was in the process of divorcing my H when he died - I went for unreasonable behaviour because he was an alcoholic who made our lives miserable, but the 'blame game' really got his back up and he spent some time being uncooperative and bitter, even though I had informed him beforehand that I was going to cite his alcohol addiction and associated behaviour. It can't have been pleasant for him to see the petition in black and white, and I wish he hadn't had to go through that - for all we were separating, I didn't wish him ill.

Two adults should be able to end their relationship amicably and work together for the sake of any children, without needing to jump through hoops.

ForalltheSaints · 09/04/2019 20:34

I view divorce as a sad thing and wish that it never happened, nor the situations where it does took place. Though would never want there to be no divorce and in particular have anyone forced to be in an abusive or coercive relationship.

The proposals as I understand them seem sensible reforms, particularly that joint petitions can take place. I think the law should make it even simpler where neither person has any children, even in some circumstances to allow a divorce to be registered as a birth or death is.

Giddyuppp · 09/04/2019 20:37

Good. About time!

SnowsInWater · 10/04/2019 06:58

Screaming Yes, 12 months post separation regardless of whether or not there are children.

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 10/04/2019 07:13

I think we could've worked it out, at least I wish we'd been obliged to have relationship counselling before it ended

The thing about counseling is it's only effective if the person actually wants to do it and if someone doesn't want to be in their relationship anymore then relationship counseling won't change their mind, especially if they're only there because they're obliged to be.

ScreamScreamIceCream · 10/04/2019 07:14

About time.

I've got many friends and a few family members who are extremely bitter about their ex due to the divorce process. It doesn't help where either party, whether they are the petitioner or respondent, have delibrately been obstructive in the process.

If the divorce process wasn't as nasty as this then it would make it easier for people around the couple to still have a relationship with both parties particularly where children are involved.

BlueberryFool123 · 10/04/2019 07:18

Massively overdue. The current fault based system has no benefit (so doesn’t effect the financials or child decisions (although many clients think/wish it did).

AfterLaughter · 10/04/2019 07:28

Brilliant news. My H refused to divorce me and I’m having to wait till Dec 2020 for the 5 year thing... Apparently not any more though?!

I’ve had 0 contact from him in 3 years after he walked out on me and our newborn (who he doesn’t see) and it’s really fucked me off that I’ve not been able to divorce the controlling abusive bastard.

ItsInTheSpoon · 11/04/2019 00:03

Not sure that there’s any way of preventing a controlling/abusive spouse from being like that during a divorce (as they were in the marriage) - but any changes that shorten the divorce process and/or remove the necessity for attributing blame in order to get the divorce done quicker are welcome.

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