AIBU to be upset at being ignored?

[Emmanal]

Hi,
I'm sitting at my desk at work, feeling pretty upset.
A colleague just came to my office to invite me to lunch. I said yes. he then asked my boss who also accepted.
the 3 of us went down to the canteen and they ignored me the whole time. It started in the queue with them talking. I tried to join in the conversation but they just spoke more and more quietly. As the queue was moving slowly and I have a lot of work to do, I just said: I'm going back to my desk and will eat later.
AIBU to be upset? How do other people handle situations like this?

You had an early lunch! It sounds like they didn't ignore you though, maybe if you'd waited and sat down then you could all have chatted more

Eh? So you left because they were talking between them for a few minutes?

I'm holding judgement on this until I hear what your boss says when he/she gets back. I think you were quite rude TBH. Unelss you are a 15yo work experience bod, then you should have enough of a relationship with (a) the invitee (b) your boss to say 'ahem, Im here, let me in on the gossip'. But you have just isolated yourself right out of the dynamic. Office politics is a funny game.

This has happened to me. Two men I was with got into a conversation about a mutual hobby and I was completely cut out of the conversation. I started by continuing to stand there politely, looking interested, but after a bit, I excused myself to go and sit with other friends who were also there. They realised immediately and one of them apologised straight away.

It happens, but if they don't realise and apologise it's pretty off. That said, did you try to involve yourself in the chat at all?

you're all right!

I'm feeling really bad now. I am sleep deprived and a bit emotional.

I tried to join in but they started whispering more and more quietly every time I tried to join in. I thought they were making it obvious they wanted to talk without me.

Similar happened to me a few weeks back where I was invited to join colleagues, another joined and started to dominate the conversation leaving me totally isolated and I wasn’t sure whether to stay or go. In the end my Line Manager held her hand up to quiet the person speaking and said to me “Is there a reason you’re here, did you need to speak to someone? You’d best get on then.” And I was left feeling like an utter tool.

I started looking for other jobs/career opportunities as this was just the tip of the Iceberg. I realise this is not an option for everyone though!

Do you have the kind of relationship where you could bring up that you felt a little confused that you’d been invited to have lunch but then they didn’t seem to want to communicate?

It sucks, I know and YANBU to feel hurt.

Maybe they thought the topic wasn't interesting to you and were trying to be polite?? I really don't know. It sounds quite strange to me. I think I would just try to move on from it now.

Did the person invite you first? Surely they would have invited the boss first if they wanted a private chat, then not invited you.

They behaved oddly i think and you weren't unreasonable to leave.

YANBU. They were rude in having a whispered conversation with each when you were all part of the same group.
Good for you for withdrawing with dignity.

You did the right thing. They were the rude ones and I think probably realised they were when you left.

Well I think we nerd an idea of time scales. It started in the queue and you never got served so how long were thry whispering? Yes they were rude, but you were pretty rude too

That’s rude, particularly if you were asked to lunch first, and then your boss. I would have to say something to your colleague about how upset the6 made you feel

Thanks everyone.

I'm just tired, emotional and sleep deprived!