Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel slightly insulted when house guests re-wash dishes before using?!

104 replies

BayLeaves · 09/04/2019 10:25

Not really a big deal but just been wondering how other people would feel about this.

I’ve had a friend and a family member (on separate occasions) insisting on re-washing kitchen items themselves at my house before using them. One wanted to wash up the already clean plate and cutlery they were going to eat from, the other wanted to rewash a wooden chopping board before preparing food on it. They both claimed it’s nothing personal, just “OCD”. I don’t think either of them actually suffer from OCD, but then again I’m not an expert.

Would you find this insulting? My kitchen is very clean and my plates etc are all very clean too, no greasy fingerprints or anything as we use a dishwasher. It felt like they just don’t trust my cleanliness?

OP posts:
AmIIntrouble · 09/04/2019 19:37

Do they do the same at the restaurant? If not OCD then definitely rude! Or may be they have some odd OCD like my mum.

I have yet to meet or heard anyone behave like my mum, my family make lovely homemade food but my mum can not eat any of it! She love cooking, she will eat her own cooking, anyone else's cooking as well as cheap greasy low quality rubbish from takeaway or supermarkets. She simply can not eat homemade food from her own family. Weird eh?

Maggiemoothecoo · 09/04/2019 19:44

Family members let the dog eat of the plates and I've witnessed them scrapping dog spew of the floor with a knife... I don't like eating there... washing up is done with like warm water.

LividLaughLove · 09/04/2019 19:45

All those people saying its rude, would you actually prefer to eat off dirty/sudsy/gritty stuff than fake a reason to give stuff a rinse?

If it happened once, OP, you could chalk it up to a weirdness. More than once, and your pots are dirty and you don't know it.

MikeUniformMike · 09/04/2019 19:49

Have you posted without a NC that you wash your toilet brush in the dishwasher?

BloodyDisgrace · 09/04/2019 19:58

I think in real life, outside of MN, no guest would dare get up and wash their plate. And even if they did, a host would be like "what the fuck do you think you are doing?" and never invite them again.
I can't imagine people who have dirty plates and pans are the type who likes to entertain at home. I'd think they are so dirty because they are so tired, or poor, or stressed, have too many problems - i.e. not in the mindset to have dinner parties at theirs.

Gwenhwyfar · 10/04/2019 07:09

Do you rinse your dishes after washing them? So many British people don't that it makes sense for a guest to rinse them again otherwise they're eating detergent.

ShabbyAbby · 10/04/2019 07:23

I rinse things before I use them. In my own home, too. I wipe my cutlery clean when eating out, too.

longwayoff · 10/04/2019 07:33

I've had to stop reading, is making me feel queasy. I've never done as OP describes but if I had to, I would, rude or not. Obviously I would be making feeble excuses or just saying no thanks, already eaten.

NaturalBornWoman · 10/04/2019 07:34

I think in real life, outside of MN, no guest would dare get up and wash their plate. And even if they did, a host would be like "what the fuck do you think you are doing?" and never invite them again.

What you actually think that in real life a relative or friend who noticed their plate was dirty wouldn't say 'oh dear there's something on this plate, I'll just give it a quick rinse'? You think they'd carry on and eat off a dirty plate? And that they should?

maeb · 10/04/2019 07:59

My OH does this when we visit certain members of his family! TBF they do have erm...'different standards of cleanliness'...(think cat litter tray full of shite on the kitchen table while you're sitting around it).

Do you have pets? Pet hairs can get everywhere (as can pets...looking at you cats!)

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 10/04/2019 08:07

I would be mortified and rush to check all my crockery to see what had made them do it!

However I have never, ever seen anyone do this. And I think if you did it in an Irish house you would never be forgiven for your rudeness in implying their housekeeping was poor.

I am still getting over the time my friend's husband commented on some tiny particles of limescale that escaped the kettle filter and polluted his cup of tea. The shame.

maeb · 10/04/2019 08:16

Amintrouble My dad would not eat anyone's food except immediate family. Even cousins.

I'm okay as long I know the person and know they're clean!!! I'm not comfortable eating food someone brings in to work though.

ittakes2 · 10/04/2019 08:26

I officially have OCD and I have had lots of CBT for it and it would never occur for me to to do this as this would just be rude. Everyone who has OCD has different symptoms though. I'm sorry I think they have both seen something about your dish washing habits they don't like. Do you hand wash and and not rinse?

RosemarysBush · 10/04/2019 08:31

Chopping boards can be particularly notorious for harbouring germs. Maybe the person has had food poisoning in the past and linked it to a chopping board? Also do you have cats who might walk across things?

Tiredtessy · 10/04/2019 08:34

I am certainly so super tidy person but washing up in a bowl of dirty water repulses me and I would want to re wash before using something if I new people did that and not rinsing the bubbles off is bizarre to!

I have a couple of friends where I’ve discreetly washed something up as there has been bits on the glass from the dishwasher or maybe washed up in a bowl and it’s horrible when you’ve drank half a glass of something and see some left over food stuck to it and these friends houses appear spotless and they claim themselves they have spotless houses!

Tiredtessy · 10/04/2019 08:35

I am certainly not a super tidy person that should read!

ASundayWellSpent · 10/04/2019 08:39

I would never ever do this in someones house, but I also don't like the way dishes come out of the dishwasher, sorry!

bullyingadvice2017 · 10/04/2019 08:40

My friend does this. She has serious mh issues. So has a passout, Any one else would get told to fuck off.

DizzyPhillips · 10/04/2019 08:42

Wish I had the guts to do this at my in-laws house. They met the dog lick the plates before they put them in the dishwasher shudder

woollyheart · 10/04/2019 08:47

A lot of people don't rinse plates after washing them in water with detergent. I have noticed that people from some other countries find this abhorrent and have to rinse the detergent off.

If you use a dishwasher, sometimes they leave a salty residue. I have to sometimes rinse this off.

Could be one of these reasons. Or maybe your eyesight is worse than you know?

peridito · 10/04/2019 08:47

Well that's put paid to my idea that a dishwasher - what a lot of work they sound - would solve the problem of my partner's appalling washing up .

TapasForTwo · 10/04/2019 08:48

Prompted by this thread I am currently running a dishwasher service clean. We scrape food off plates and rinse them before putting them in the dishwasher anyway.

PastaOfMuppets · 10/04/2019 08:48

Plenty of people think their kitchenware is perfectly clean when it isn't. OP might be one such person.

woollyheart · 10/04/2019 08:50

@DizzyPhillips

I think a dishwasher will clean plates well enough after a dog has licked it. You just don't like the dog.

DizzyPhillips · 10/04/2019 08:52

Grin bonkers. That must be it.