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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to think that mass gift-giving to teachers at end of year is tacky?

241 replies

MuddlingThrough · 13/07/2007 11:06

Do teachers really want 30 packets of Cadbury's Roses, bought because the high-street shops have sented out yet another way to turn genuine sentiment into a tacky marketing opportunity? Or should we just say thanks instead?

OP posts:
homemama · 15/07/2007 23:07

Just want to add that I'm not a teacher who whinges about low pay. I do know there are lots of people out there working very hard for a lot less.

homemama · 15/07/2007 23:10

I used to think that, Peachy. Funny how things change. Now I love the diversity of teaching everything from number bonds to 100 to stitching slippers. Also, teaching in primary at Christmas time really is magical!

Peachy · 15/07/2007 23:14

There are homemama, but there are a lot of less qualified individuals who earn more too.

wages ARE going to be an issue for the future, ic an see that at Uni now. Too many students would like tot ech but can't see how they can get on the housing ladder, build a family AND pay their student loans. As I said i will get a bursary, but most do not and will run up even further debts. It's clear how desperate theya re fir certain subjects, as when I telephoend for adivice they took my number and will call me back on the day entries open to take me through applications !

Peachy · 15/07/2007 23:15

I can see that homemama, mayve its to do with my home life- I ahve a child who will permannently be at primary stage educationally, and will need home ed for a while (iisues with getting a school palce) so maybe that's why it doesn't appeal so much?

My subject is one I am incredibly passionate about as well, which helps of course.

mollymawk · 15/07/2007 23:28

Answering the original qu, I don't think there is anything wrong with getting presents, but if it were me (I am not a teacher though) what I would appreciate would be something that involved thought and gratitude - eg things the children have come up with or made (rather than something hastily bought by the parents). My ds1 left pre-school this year and he had lots of teachers so we all clubbed together to get them all some vouchers. And I wrote a card to the head of the pre-school explaining what I particularly liked about the way they had all looked after ds1.
No idea whether she thought "damn, was hoping for a bottle of wine" though...

Twinklemegan · 15/07/2007 23:37

When I was at school, the teacher got US presents at the end of term (just tiny things like creme eggs or something), not the other way round. I remember the class clubbing together to get something when we all left junior school, but that's all really.

saggers · 16/07/2007 09:29

I buy the children in my class presents - a little toy at Christmas, a creme egg at Easter and something at the end of the year, like book or pencil set. And I write a little card for them all. (Costs me a bllody fortune, but they love it!)

MummyPenguin · 16/07/2007 09:54

So what have we bought then? I've bought a couple of trinket boxes with a nice message on them, for two particularly special teachers. I also got some little bears with teacher type messages on them. Not too tacky though, as they're only little and have a sucker and twine on them so they could be hung in a car or on a window or something. With them I've got some novelty shaped post-it notes in bright colours. I really didin't know what to get. I tried to go for something practical, not too tacky. I like the sort of thing that can be kept, and as a rule don't buy chocolates or flowers. Fo a couple of the TA's I've bought a nice mug with 'coffee break' on them. They even have a matching spoon that slots into the handle.

Oh come and take the piss, I don't care really

I imagine male teachers are even harder to buy for. None of mine have had a male teacher yet, although DS1 will next term and DD starting secondary school will have a male form tutor. Will keep the Lidl lager and wine gums in mind

Hulababy · 16/07/2007 09:58

MummyPenguin - we bought DD's teacher and TA a bottle of nice wine, plus a box of chocolates, each. DD chose what she wanted to buy. We also made cards. And we worte a letter of thanks to the Head, who is leaving this summer.

DD's teacher/TA bought each of the children a gift each. they brought it home wrapped up with their box of books/pcitures, etc. DD got a little mini Baby born type (but non branded make) doll and accessories. At Christmas the children where each given a Christmas bauble and mini soft toy too.

MummyPenguin · 16/07/2007 10:09

Yep, I think you can't go too far wrong with wine!!

The presents your DD got grom her teacher and TA sound lovely, Hulababy.

MummyPenguin · 16/07/2007 10:10

from even

binkleandflip · 16/07/2007 10:11

We have got dd's reception teacher a little swarovski crystal butterfly necklace. I think it would suit her style and personality and thought it was something she could keep. Wasnt too dear and I felt more meaningful that something consumable.

Lauriefairycake · 16/07/2007 10:57

Teachers pay - hmmm....one of the loneliest days of my life was when I miscarried and my husband was at new parents evening (secondary school teacher).

In the 7 hours when I was in hospital (he managed to get there by 10pm) I amused myself working out that over the course of the last year taking into account all school holidays he had earned the princely sum of £2.83 an hour.

I earned more 20 years ago when I worked as a waitress.

He has management points, he is fantastic at his job and he brings home £31,000 a year. £1800 a month. Our mortgage is £1100 interest only and with essential bills that takes it to £1650. We live in the south east.

So we have £150 a month to live on. We ran out of money last month (poor budgeting on my part as car needed a service) and we ate beans on toast for last 3 days.

Not the end of the world but I also obviously rarely see him and he is pretty exhausted now. It seems very little return for such hard work.

GreebosWhiskers · 16/07/2007 11:10

My 2 always made a little gift for their teachers - something like a wrapped candle for example. That probably is kinda tacky now I come to think on it

OrmIrian · 16/07/2007 11:24

I don't like the idea of tipping teachers - as if they were a waiter who'd been particularly nippy with the starters and had an engaging smile . A good teacher enables the child (and the parent to a much lesser extent) to build a relationship with them. How can you compare someone who could make such a difference to a child's school career and potentially the rest of their lives, to someone who zaps things through a scanner and takes your debit card, no matter how friendly and helpful they might be? And I hate this idea that parents and children are consumers - yuck! No they aren't. A consumer pays money and gets a service. A pupil has to contribute. There is a totally different dynamic and long may that remain the case.

Having said all that, I still would only buy a present if the child wanted it. But I would say thankyou at the end of the year.

Peachy · 16/07/2007 11:35

Ormirian is it de rigeur so much back there? When we were in bridgy whardly anyone did it- here everyone does, its pretty much compulsory. I wonderd if it was geographical or had just caiught on lately?

OrmIrian · 16/07/2007 11:40

No. Not really. About 20% of the class I suppose.

ipanemagirl · 16/07/2007 11:55

anyone who has spent a one whole day helping a primary school teacher and watched the extraordinary feat of juggling needs and attentions and motivations of 30 kids.
Who would be so tight to begrudge a token of thanks to someone who's done that about 312 times, who's been in loco parentis for you, who's has fostered your child's self esteem for a whole year?
They should get a ferrari each! I'll do a posh plant thought coz I can't afford a ferrari but YES the deserve it, it's an exhausting job and those that are good at it are worth their weight in gold.

WideWebWitch · 16/07/2007 11:56

someone sum up this thread please?
Do most people think teachers should or shouldn't get a present?

ipanemagirl · 16/07/2007 11:57

YES THEY SHOULD IMO!

kickassangel · 16/07/2007 11:57

PEACHY - re your note about the student teacher - yes, do a letter, pref one copy for him & one for uni people - he can use it for future job applications etc so very worthwhile as well as expressing thanks.

cornsilk · 16/07/2007 11:58

I say yes if you want to - but there's no need to go over the top.

MummyPenguin · 16/07/2007 14:26

A yes from me too, but don't bother if it's a teacher that you or your DC hasn't liked or got on with. I wouldn't.

lucyellensmum · 16/07/2007 15:47

i work in a vets and we often get pressie from clients especially at xmas. The curious thing is, we tend to get more flowers and choccies when people are having their animals put to sleep. I guess it is because they see it as final contact maybe. People can be lovely (sometimes).

I never bought my DDs teacher a card, let alone a present. Of cousre she has left school now. DD2 will be starting in two years, i guess choccies wont be enough by then, it will be at least a bottle of champers and none of that cava rubbish will do

Peachy · 16/07/2007 15:50

Will do that KAA thanks, was worried it would look a bit odd LOL

Taht's waht i though Ormirian, it was a bit of a first end of term ehre! luckily Ds1 was only in that class 5 weeks so I adidnt look as bad as I might ahve done otherwise