I split with my ex in the middle of last year. He lives with his parents close by. Until Feb he saw the children 5 days a week including one sleep over. He'd come by the house and was always moody, he'd cry in front of the kids, slam the doors as he left from dropping them off etc and say things like he hated himself and mummy kicked me out etc to the kids. I understand this is part of the grieving process of breaking up so I let it slide even though it annoyed me. I understand his whole world is on its head. Then in November he sent me a suicidal message in the middle of the night, and after Christmas he sent me a picture of his wrist cut up and said 'be seeing you then' when he asked if there was another chance for us and I said no.
Fast forward to February this year, when he sent me a long text message making accusations about someone I had been dating late last year ( 5 dates and I called it a day) because he looked on my calendar in my house when he had come round and he saw I had written the name of this guy on it (it is a weekly calendar so it was not on show, he had flipped through it and he shouldn't really have been in the house). I was meeting this guy as friends and nothing else. My ex lied to me after he saw this (he didn't tell me he saw it) and said he could no longer have the children on that particular day because he was busy. When I pressed him about rearranging for another day he sent me this text with accusations and said it was to save me from being screwed over by the guy. He was drunk at the time, mocking me and he also threatened to stab the other guy in the neck because I didn't believe what he had said about him.
Anyway, this was a very bad week for me as I was already very depressed at the time and had been rapidly spiralling for some time. I text him one morning and told him to pick the kids up because I wasn't able to care for them as my head was too messed up. Later that day I left and disappeared for 3 days and ended up in hospital after taking an overdose. Less than 2 weeks later I took a second overdose and ended up on a mental health ward. He visited me, helped with the kids, he now has them 2 overnights and he has offered to cook/clean/help whenever I need it.
I'm feeling much better now, but I am increasingly uncomfortable with my ex being so present. He thinks I'm unreasonable being uncomfortable and that he's just being nice and 'has no motive'. This morning he sent me £50 and told me to spend it on extra activities for the kids over half term (I sent it back and said thanks but no thanks). He put my bins out and left nappies in the porch as he knew I was low on them which was kind. He invited me on a night away with the kids to Wales later on in the month and keeps offering to put the kids to bed. He keeps commenting that I'm attractive, that he still loves me but has no other motive for helping me other than wanting to see me get better. Now I know I sound awful, but I feel really trapped in by him. He's my ex, but he's always there everywhere I turn. I've even said this but still he persists. I know he will be there as we have children together, but it just feels as if we're still together but he's sleeping elsewhere. What can I do?
I'm totally in two minds about whether or not he's being inappropriate, or if he's really just trying to help me. Thoughts?