Right time for baby financially

33 replies

GreytExpectations · 08/04/2019 21:26

Ive NC for this but may actually keep the name as im a long time lurker but short time poster...

Anyways, my DH and I are beginning to discuss having a baby. We have been together in total for 6 years but married for 2. We arent TTC yet but probably will be in the next 6 months- 1 year. Im worried that we arent in the "ideal" financial situation yet. But we are good enough i think. We own our home (as of last sept.) We both have stable full time jobs with a joint annual income of £59,000 (but this is before tax) and my has a great mat leave with a lot of career progression options and flexi leave options. My DH is underpaid for what he does so he is currently looking for a new job but as of now not having much luck- honestly, having him earn a bit more money would be great for us but i also feel like us having a baby wont really stop his career the way it could potentially set mine back. Our marriage and overall relationship is strong and in a good place and kids is something we both have always wanted.
We are currently trying to build our savings back from buying the house but I wouldnt want this to delay us.
I guess what im asking is AIBU to think our financial situation is realistic for having a baby?

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FluffyKittenss · 09/04/2019 11:57

is there ever the right time to have a baby?

We're always saving up for something whether it be a house, a new car, a new boiler, redecorating, holidays,

I wen't through this myself with my husband and we've decided to just go for it! the thought of constantly putting it off and waiting then reach my mid 30's and possibly struggle to conceive terrified me, knowing it was my fault as i kept pushing it back.

Just go for it! If it happens it happens, if it doesn't then it doesn't.

This is only my opinion and please I hope no one takes offence to this. But the thought of leaving it too late and becoming a mum in my late 30s early 40s truley scares me. I think thats because my family history is women starting their menopause in their mid 30s! (4 Generations, every single woman!)

FluffyKittenss · 09/04/2019 12:02

PS my mum wanted so many kids, haha. she only managed 2 and was very lucky, as soon as she had me at the age of 31 her body kicked in the menopause. She was truly devastated and it took her a long time to deal with it.

Shes always told me, money doesnt matter, its the love that does. PS.. subjective view as me and the hubby have a huge family (5+ brothers & Sister in laws, 4 sets of parents, 6 sets of grandparents still trucking on) who all are dying for grandkids and have money sitting in a bank waiting. So totally different situation I suppose. We're very lucky in terms of family, my mum has even offered free childcare for all the children we decide to have so i can go back to work.

Roxyxoxo · 09/04/2019 12:04

I’ve not found having a baby particularly expensive, it’s the not being at work and getting as much pay! But if you have a good maternity scheme and/or have a semi plan for how to work childcare etc then that’s probably more important

1stTimeMama · 09/04/2019 13:06

We have 4 children, 1 car, and 1 wage, which is lower than your combined income. I would say you're on a good position to start TTC, you never know how long it will take, or what life throws at you in the meantime. You make the best of what you have, and roll with it!

mclady · 09/04/2019 13:13

You can't predict when you OH's next career move will come, much like you can't predict how long it will take you to conceive. What I will say is that in the 7 years I've been raising children, out household income has fluctuated massively, but we have always got by. If you feel emotionally ready and you can pay the bills, go for it!

Original poster

GreytExpectations · 09/04/2019 17:34

Thank you so much for all the helpful opinions. Its put my mind at ease! Now to hope my cycle actually regulates itself as i came off the pill 6 months ago and its all over the place :/

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HarrysOwl · 09/04/2019 17:40

I echo PP and can only say there's never a right time, and if you absolutely know you want to have kids, then TTC sooner rather than later.

I had a plan. It was going great, everything in order...had no idea infertility would be a thing to consider. Sadly, it looks like it won't happen with DH & I and I wish we'd started TTC much, much earlier.

Original poster

GreytExpectations · 09/04/2019 19:38

@HarrysOwl im so sorry to hear that thank you for your advice and im very much of the start early mentality

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