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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I really envy assertive people

3 replies

Cupppp · 08/04/2019 20:41

I know envy isn’t a nice emotion so IABU. I just wish I had the gumption to say what I want. I’m ok at work (to my company’s credit, the culture is very open and there is no “grade-ism” so people can be candid without repercussion).

It’s relationships that’s the problem for me. I honestly think it’s an innate skill and the couples I know with the best relationships communicate frankly with each other. I asked one such friend whether she had ever been reluctant to say something to her husband (or ex boyfriends) because she feared the answer - she looked confused by the question.

I want to tell a friend how I feel about him. We’re very flirty, mostly via messenger. This thread isn’t a “does he want me?” one - Mumsnetters couldn’t say, they don’t know him or me. I’d just like to know what an assertive person would write and how she’d steel herself for a “no thanks” reply.

OP posts:
PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 08/04/2019 20:44

We’re very flirty, mostly via messenger.

Knock ^^ that on the head, get him out IRL and see what the chemistry is like … then lean in and snog him

Sausage01 · 08/04/2019 22:13

It just needs a "hey, how about meeting up for a drink (or insert you're own activity here), it would be lovely to see you...". You aren't flinging yourself at him or screaming I love you as it could be interpreted as friendly then see how it goes.

sunshinelollipopsrainbows · 08/04/2019 22:23

Actions speak louder than words OP. I'd dial down the messenger a bit and try and see him more in person.

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