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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To stay in this relationship?

17 replies

Tiger33000 · 08/04/2019 19:32

Do all relationships go like this? I’ve been with my boyfriend for 9 months, and I just don’t think he’s trying anymore.

He doesn’t want sex that much, he doesn’t want to go on proper dates that much, makes me feel like embarrassed if he pays for a meal etc, prioritises his friends and work before me.

I was in hospital last week and he had a go at me saying I was being stubborn and awkward because I asked him not to bring his mate into visiting hours (I was in pyjamas with IVs and oxygen, I hardly want it to be a lads gathering do I?). So in the end I settled it by saying just go out with your mate instead cause it was either he doesn’t come in at all or he comes in with his mate.

He never does little things, I used to bring him a hot chocolate when I pick him up or other little things like that, he’s done the same ONCE and reminds me of it an awful lot. Didn’t get me a card for Valentine’s Day even though I said the card is the most important thing to me because I’d rather have thoughtful words than a gift.

I just don’t get it. At the start I was completely swept away with it all, thought he was amazing, he treat me so nice. And now he’s comfortable and it’s boring and no effort put in. What would you do? I’ve brought it up with him and it’s pointless.

OP posts:
MollysLips · 08/04/2019 19:35

Dump him without a second thought and move on with your life. And get well soon!

formerbabe · 08/04/2019 19:35

Yeah, end it, move on, plenty more fish in the sea!

Lalliella · 08/04/2019 19:37

LTB. If he’s like this after 9 months, imagine what he’ll be like after 9 years. He’s showing his true colours now. Get rid.

lifebegins50 · 08/04/2019 19:40

The hospital visit was awful. This man does not have your back and never will.

The nice him was fake, this is the real person. Don't waste your time hoping he will change back, it was just an act.

You deserve much better.

Bananalanacake · 08/04/2019 19:41

thank God you don't live with him. have some time to yourself and get well soon .

MadameAnchou · 08/04/2019 19:42

You have to ask? Fuck him off and stop dating until you do some serious work on your self-esteem to determine why you even give the time of day to twats like this.

HelloMonday · 08/04/2019 20:15

I'd call quits on this, and not even blink!
You should still be in a nice 'honeymoon phase'. This sounds bleek.

He's telling you who he is, and you should listen.

Shoxfordian · 08/04/2019 20:19

Yeah end it, he's useless

AsleepAllDay · 08/04/2019 20:23

He sounds awful!

loztredders · 08/04/2019 20:25

He sounds horrendous. End it now.

helpmum2003 · 08/04/2019 20:52

End it.

Eliza9919 · 08/04/2019 21:00

Leave him.

Pollaidh · 08/04/2019 21:10

No, if he's not making even basic efforts in the 9 month (still honeymoon) stage, then he's not worth it. End it and find someone who respects you. 15 + years on DH still makes me feel cared for and special every day, not by overwhelming me with gifts etc, but through little attentions.

I dumped a previous boyfriend who was more concerned about meeting his mates than driving me to the doctors when I had a kidney infection.

ooItsAoBeautifulDayNow · 08/04/2019 21:20

Are you happy? No? If not then end it!

If that doesn't feel like an obvious answer then why do you think it's better to feel the way you do now than to be single again?

He sounds like a right dick!

Neverender · 08/04/2019 21:21

Chuck him while you still can

FactsOfLife · 08/04/2019 21:22

Good god! Leave!!!

Willow2017 · 08/04/2019 22:10

Dump and dont look back.

What a selfish arse. Who.on earth would take a mate to see am ill partner is he a child?

Find a man who can function without a 'mate' to keep.him company. He only cares about himself.

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