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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think depression creeps up on you

13 replies

Lovestonap · 08/04/2019 12:08

I have had a few bouts of depression in my adult life, and I thought I was now quite savvy with my mood, and sensitive to changes in it. I've been feeling rubbish for a little while but just put it down to high pressure job/course money worries usual stuff.

It's only in the last 2 weeks or so that I've started to wonder if it's more than just life pressures. It was crystalized for me the other day when it was a lovely day outside, I had no work to do or due, there was money in the bank and I asked myself what I wanted to do and realised that all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and pull the duvet over my head.

My husband is amazing, but when he sees me start to get tired he just steps up and does more of the tasks and lets me 'rest' which I think has been masking the fact that I've been getting worse.

Today I have made a telephone appt with my GP to go back on some medication that I was on a couple of years ago. I then idly looked up signs and symptoms of depression and could tick pretty much the whole list (although am not suicidal and don't have anxiety).

I actually feel pretty embarrassed about it, I work in mental health and would be probably quite quick to notice a change in someone else, but this has been creeping up on me since January I think.

I spoke to my husband about maybe going back on anti Ds and he was supportive but he did say "do you think you need to? You've been doing so well!" which I know he meant as a kind thing but sort of re inforces the idea that it's some kind of failing to need medicine, which I know rationally it isn't.

Why are we (I) so slow to notice these changes in ourselves?!

OP posts:
MissPollyHadADolly19 · 08/04/2019 12:15

I think one of the reasons is we never really give ourselves a chance to just "be". So preoccupied with work, family and life in general that when we are able to reflect on our own emotions it's the only time problems become apparent, oddly enough when we do feel such emotions come into play we use the same distractions such as work, family etc as ways of defending the depressing - " I can't be that bad, I'm still working ok, Its not that bad as I'm able to enjoy family time" etc. Thus letting the depression creep in more so over time.
Struggling myself at the moment too, also work in a mental health related job.

MissPollyHadADolly19 · 08/04/2019 12:15

*defending the depression

ShabbyAbby · 08/04/2019 12:22

Counselling and ADs, and self help strategies NOW

Before the depression really sets in and you have to start from the bottom climbing out of that hole (but too drained to find a ladder)

Lovestonap · 08/04/2019 12:35

Yes, I agree. There's always a 'reason' that I'm feeling under the weather - work, stress, maybe I'm coming down with something etc.

I'm taking action now, anti D's, and will make a real effort with behavioural activation. I'm not going to go with counselling at the moment, simply because I genuinely like where I am with life at the moment, feel fulfilled (if stressed out) with work, my family and marriage are great and I quite like myself. This is I think why I have been ignoring the symptoms of depression because it doesn't make any sense, but then quite often depression doesn't does it?

I might consider CBT to help with the binge-eating habits I have got into if the medication doesn't help reduce that particular 'strategy'.

Right now lying on sofa trying to pluck up energy to run a hot bath to help with various aches and pains.

OP posts:
MissPollyHadADolly19 · 08/04/2019 23:31

I wish I could go down the anti D route but currently pregnant so trying to avoid it also not wanting to accept I need them right now

You're right though, depression rarely ever makes sense! It isn't fussy either whether your rich, poor, fat, skinny, man, woman, taken or single, it can come and take over. I think the assumption that something MUST be wrong is what is wrong too and also can be another reason why it creeps in so slowly for some people.

Flowers for you OP and well done for taking the bull by the horns to tackle it before it becomes overwhelming!

bridgetreilly · 08/04/2019 23:33

Using a daily tracker like Moodscope is a really good way of alerting you to any changes in your mental health. I find that it makes it much easier to tell if it's just a blip (often period related) or if it's a longer trend in which case I need to take action.

Lovestonap · 09/04/2019 08:49

MissPollyHadADolly19 that's tough. I had to take anti depressants when pregnant and there were no ill effects but it's so difficult to make that choice.

It feels a bit now I've admitted it, I've sort of collapsed with it, and all energy is gone which isn't helping. There was a thread somewhere on mumsnet for helping people with depression get through the day, sort of hints and tips so I might try and find that in a moment.

Very bad sleep last night, bless my husband, he was up making me a cup of tea at 2am and then couldn't get back to sleep himself.

I could check out a daily tracker - I already use a period tracker which has been very helpful, as in "why do I feel like murdering everyone today?" check phone "ah, 3 days to go!"

Will try not to binge today.

OP posts:
RosaWaiting · 09/04/2019 08:51

I don't know OP

but I had a phase of coming on and off antideps and would have described it the same way then

as well as managing the illness, you then have to manage the side effects of going on and coming off....after three times doing this, my doctor said to me - not for the first time! - "just keep on them" which certainly works better for me. Might be worth a try for you? Flowers

Lovestonap · 09/04/2019 09:09

Yes, each time I've been on them it's for at least a year to 18 months

OP posts:
Lovestonap · 09/04/2019 13:15

Right, time to heed some of the advice I'd offer others in this situation.
I have a cold at the moment as well so it''s:
take medication
Plenty of fluids and paracetamol
No alcohol
Good quality food - fresh soup, nice bread and cheese.
Gentle exercise if you feel up to it
something soothing to do - dig out a jigsaw.
Prepare for work tomorrow so you won't worry about it all evening.

Get through today...... Just keep swimming......

OP posts:
RosaWaiting · 09/04/2019 15:36

are you a TV person? I've really found boxset/binge watch type things to be incredibly helpful at times like this.

Flowers
Lovestonap · 09/04/2019 16:31

Great minds, I've just made a start on Line of Duty, I've heard it's quite good :)

OP posts:
RosaWaiting · 09/04/2019 18:25

oh I've been meaning to watch that for years!

Last bad bout I had, Grey's Anatomy got me through it. I don't think I'd have watched it otherwise - but really genuinely enjoyed it.

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