My dh and I have been together for 11 years, married for 1 with 2 dc. Over the years, he's known I've struggled with mental health issues, mainly from abuse triggered as a child.
A few years ago, I decided to seek help and was given CBT, which I stopped going to after a few sessions as I couldn't really get childcare for the days I went and ideally wanted sometime for myself during those sessions.
Fast forward a few years and another child, my mental health has got worse, mainly brought on by a stressful job and possibly undiagnosed PNT adding onto previous issues. Anyway, I've been doing well hiding the obvious signs of my dwindling mental health. For example, I'll drop both Dc at nursery and come straight home and sleep or stay in our darkened bedroom until my shift starts in the evenings.
I've mentioned to dh a few times over the last 12 month's that I'm feeling especially anxious and being more prone to depressive and isolating tendencies and he's not really acknowledged much of anything I've said, so I've just carrier on as.normal as possible.
Today, I finally plucked up the courage to speak with dh about how I'm feeling as I've started to have suicidal thoughts, this isn't something I've ever experienced before and wanted some support. While speaking with him, I said I knew what I needed to do and the steps I wanted to to take in order to feel better. Such as, cutting hours down at work to a more manageable limit and dh engaging more with me and cutting down some of his hobbies so I can get some more support in the short term. Dh scoffed at this and raised his voice at me and said my plans didn't make sense and that I couldn't possibly cut down hours- (this isn't true, dh is the breadwinner and my pay is pittence)
I'm now sat on my bed, crying, while dh is sat watching sports downstairs. He's not once come up and apologised, not seemed concerned that his wife has had suicide thoughts or tried to talk to me on how I'm feeling and what he can do to help. I'm thinking if dh had approached me and voiced his concerns, that I would have given him my time, attention and support.
I'm not to sure why I've posted this, would be nice to have some support somewhere I guess.