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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be concerned that my 6 year old DS is not dry at night

73 replies

ChipsCheeseAndBeans · 07/04/2019 21:11

He wears a pull up to bed. If he has a pull up on he will pee in it even if he is awake.

If he wears pants, when he is awake he will get up to go to the toilet.

When he is asleep he wets the bed and doesn’t even wake up when he has done it.

If he wears a pull up to bed it is really full in the morning.

I have tried waking him up before I go to bed to pee but normally he has already gone by this point and is wet, or if he has gone it still makes no difference and will still be soaking by the morning.

I don’t know what to do.

OP posts:

Lalliella · 08/04/2019 00:02

My DS was about 8 or 9 by the time he was dry at night. I wish I had had MN then, I went through a lot of angst about it, and ultimately for no reason as it sorted itself out in the end as these things tend to do. We had an alarm for him which was quite helpful. Don’t worry OP, your DS will be fine in time

PhilipJennings · 08/04/2019 01:56

My DS is like yours.. such a heavy sleeper, he would be soaked through and not wake. I found it was most likely to happen if something roused him just slightly in the night but he didn’t wake fully - e.g. his little sister having a nightmare or the cats squabbling on the landing, or DH leaving early for work. He refused to wear a pull-up from about 3 months ago, so DH and I have had to have a fairly regimented regime of getting him out of bed for a wee at regular intervals. This still meant changing the sheets 2 or 3 times a week though, if he’d had an extra drink or wasn’t feeling well or bed time was so late and chaotic I’d fallen asleep before the first wake up (1.5 hours after him falling asleep). He’s a terrible settler, so this could be any time between 10pm and 11:30!

He’s 6 and a half and has been dry at night for about ten days now. And I can’t sleep and am up with insomnia and I still tried to get him out for a wee 20 minutes ago because I’m paranoid about it at this stage.

WithTwoGiantBoys · 09/04/2019 19:39

My DS is 10 and still wets. If we get him up at about 10:30ish he usually makes it until morning dry but if we're late lifting him he wets. Went through a phase where I thought we were almost over it but it is back to being nearly every night at the moment even if we do get him up. He won't wear the pull ups so we have bed mats. The washing is hugely depressing. Went to the GP about a year ago and was given the brush off. He has a school residential in a couple of months - I have no idea what to do :-(

itchykneessan · 23/04/2019 17:48

My DD is 6 and she has been in pullups until 4 nights ago. She really wanted to try without, and so did DH, but I was really nervous about it. Of course we gave it a go, though.

I spoke to a GP about a year ago about it. She printed something out about night time bedwetting, which said not to lift. But she wrote in the margin that she was doing this with her 5 year old and it was working, so it might be worth trying.

We tried it and on the first and second nights DD was dry. She got herself up in the morning about 6am to do a wee. The third night did a tiny bit of wee in her knickers, around 1am, and I could hear her stirring so I think she was almost about to wake up. I helped her and the wee it didn't go through to the bed or even the PJs. She did the same thing last night just before I lifted her but again, it didn't go through to the bed sheets.

I feel a bit mean waking her up to wee. I pick her up out of bed and then carry her to the hallway. Then I tell her she needs to walk to the loo. She does a wee but never remembers in the morning!

Anyway...I have no idea if we are doing it correctly or not but it would seem mean to go back to pullups now. I suppose we will have to try without lifting at some point. I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone, OP. Recently DD went on a sleepover with Rainbows and the leader said that it is not unusual for some Brownies (aged 7+) to be in pullups still.

RaspberryBubblegum · 23/04/2019 17:55

My brother was the same when younger. My mum bought those sheets with sensors in them that beep very loudly when they get wet (sorry have no idea what they're called) and they helped. Would that help your DS? Or does he sleep through alarms?

OrgasmicScalp · 23/04/2019 17:58

My son wast dry at night until age 9 and first port of call should be the school nurse who will offer advice and give you a plan to follow.. also they'll assess to see if the wetting is due to a lack of hormone or another reason. At 6 I really wouldn't worry as all children are different and he may just become dry.. for comparison my other son is 5 and had been consistently dry for months now

blackteasplease · 23/04/2019 18:05

V interested in this as DS 5 is not dry and shows no signs if it.

Took my by surprising as dd was dry at 2.5 but everyone has said boys and girls can differ in this respect.

Whenisitover · 23/04/2019 18:22

DS1 was 8 before he was reliably dry at night - very heavy sleeper and I think I may have even given him a bit of a complex about it because I worried so much about it (he wouldn't go to Beaver sleep overs or to friends houses in case they saw the pull up - which took some effort to overcome)

DS2 was dry at 4 with no accidents (like a flipping camel)

I now work with a team of scientists who specialise in Kidneys - our kids take time to start producing the vasopressin hormone which limits urine production at night - some start early, many start later or may even need help. BUT please try not to stress out your kids in pushing them. They really can't help it.

Whenisitover · 23/04/2019 18:24

oh - and lifting them at night may save on pull ups and washing sheets but it won't actually do anything to solve the underlying issue

DontWannaBeObamasElf · 23/04/2019 18:29

Try an alarm. My six year old was dry by week 4.

friskybivalves · 23/04/2019 22:21

My DS was well past his seventh birthday and still in pull ups that were very heavy in the morning. I just didn't fuss about it (mostly thru inertia and a sense that it would just resolve itself and if not I really must make that GP appt etc etc. Then one day he announced that he'd gone three days without weeing in his nappy. He declared he didn't need them anymore. Ok I said. We have had about three accidents of wetting the bed since then - around three months ago - and he just seems to have cracked it himself. So I'd just leave him to it for a few months yet and see if same happens.

Miranda79 · 23/04/2019 22:28

My nearly 5 year old was in pull ups and still flooding the bed several nights a week. The gp suggested an alarm (not UK) and 3 weeks in he is doing really well with it. It cost a bit but I’m not buying pull ups and there is less washing already!

78percentLindt · 23/04/2019 22:39

I "parent referred" DS2 to enuresis clinic about 6 weeks before his 7th birthday and first appointment was the week before his birthday. Took several appointments and the alarm did not seem to work that well.
As someone has suggested needed to drink more in the day and avoid "Brown drinks" tea, coffee, cola ( and hot chocolate?) after about 3 pm. (Not that he had them very much)

MindfulBear · 23/04/2019 22:49

Family friend is a paediatrician specialising in bed wetting (UK -based in Surrey). He won't see boys until they are 8 if the problem is "just" nighttime bed wetting because hormones mean many boys are not physically capable of being dry at night before the .
However he will see boys from 5yo if they have accidents during the day too.

DS was dry in the day from 2 1/2yo but wet the bed, so wore a pull up, until he was nearly 7.

The paediatrician advice is to calculate, based on body weight, how much liquid they should be drinking every day and then make sure they drink that between wake up and 5pm. Then restrict fluids from 5pm.

He also says not to make a big deal about it and to make sure they are emptying their bladder properly before bed and during the day. At bedtime we used to do the "wee dance" and sent DS to the toilet pre and post bedtime story. To really make sure he had all the chances to empty it that we could give him!!!

Good luck

MindfulBear · 23/04/2019 22:52

We did have relapses btw - mostly after a change in routine. Was ghastly but any time we went away or stayed up late I would force a pull up on him as I couldn't bear the thought of the washing and bed changing or his miserable face!!!!

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 23/04/2019 22:57

2 of mine were similar - one was dry overnight by 3. All boys.

I'd remove the pull ups and layer his bedding using those puppy pad things, plastic sheets and normal sheets. More to get him used to the feeling, as it does sound like he's just not ready. One of mine was very embarrassed about it, one wasn't.

Also stay away from blackcurrant drinks as apparently they don't help!

I really sympathise, it can be soul destroying. Especially having to hide your own upset so they don't get a complex about it, feeling like you can't talk to anyone as they'll judge.

CoolCatKat · 23/04/2019 23:07

Son was 7 or around that age and a bed alarm worked. Also, make sure theres a light left on for him to go to bathroom as we found out the pitch black hallway was putting son off going to toilet.

R3ALLY · 23/04/2019 23:29

My DS is 6.5 and in pull ups at night. Dry around every 2nd night now so it does seem to be resolving itself, slowly. I had a chat with the GP and he said not to worry as all his other development is normal. My other son was dry at 3... seems to be just the way he’s built!

5SleepingLions · 23/04/2019 23:43

My first Ds was dry during the day at 2 1/2 and dry by 3 1/2
Ds 2 was dry during the day at 4 and didn’t stop wetting the bed until he was 13 it was a nightmare and nothing helped eventually he just stopped.
Ds3 was dry during the day at 3 and has only just stopped wetting the bed just before his 13th birthday, he is being tested for Dyspraxia at the moment so I don’t know if there is a connection.
It looks like Ds 2 may also have Dyspraxia.
Ds 4 was dry at 3 during the day and dry at night just turned 6.
Dd was dry at just turned 2 during the day and night it happened at the same time.
It is hard having a child who still wets the bed late my sons wouldn’t go to sleep overs or stay away from home because they were so worried about it.
But nothing worked until they were ready.

itchykneessan · 24/04/2019 10:15

Interesting to read about other people's experiences.

It's not something I am personally worried about because my own view was that it would just sort it out over time. But my daughter, husband and even my mum all seemed to disagree with me and thought we should be doing something about it!

I would have ignored them all apart from DD, tbh. So we are muddling through. But we are going camping in May and I might have to pre-warn her that we may use pullups then, as we'll have no way of washing a sleeping bag. Is that mean?

Serialweightwatcher · 24/04/2019 10:24

My DS wasn't dry at night until he was nearly 11 ... we eventually tried desmopressin but I wasn't keen on him taking tablets, and an alarm but it never woke him up - it just happened on its own eventually - even with a mattress cover I had to change the bed every day for years ... 6 years old is nothing serious to worry about

WithTwoGiantBoys · 24/04/2019 10:38

I'm so glad someone else has found this going on past ten! I was starting to feel even worse! I really don't know what to do about the school residential. I hope it ends soon but it seems to have got worse.

stucknoue · 24/04/2019 11:15

Dd was 8 before she was dry - it took medication. Until 7 they won't consider any interventions, it's quite normal

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