I'll start this by clarifying that I have never stopped her from seeing him.
For three years I've been involved in the most pettiest of situations I can sometimes even begin to fathom. I'll start with the basic information which will help give you an idea.
We broke up when my daughter was one. Around 6 months after, we both entered relationships with other people. My relationship lasted three years and well his.. is still only just hanging by a thread.
Things were okay between us before our new relationships but as expected when new partners come onto the scene, especially when children are involved, things can get a little difficult.
In the space of three years, his partner has made my life difficult in every possible way. These are basically the things I've had to deal with since the beginning of their relationship.
Taking her swimming for the first time without telling me even when her father and I discussed we would take her so we could both experience it.
Taking my daughter for her first visit to the salon to have her long hair cut off without discussing it with me first.
Writing on her items of clothing in black sharpie saying "DADS". Allowing my daughter to attend nursery with white socks and black sharpie written across the bottom of her foot.
Told my daughter to call her "meema" even though that is not her name.
Keeps purposely signing herself as "stepmum" in my daughters reading book at school.
Posting slanderous things about me on social media, including accusing me of only having my daughter for the money so I can buy booze and drugs with it. (lol, I would rather netflix at home)
Go against everything I say.
Brings my daughter back either early or late.
He refused to bring her home so I had to call my parents and beg they take my an hour away to collect her.
Been maliciously reported to social services THREE times, each closing the case almost immediately after they have spoken with me. (but let me just clarify that the accusations she has made against me were very harsh and very untrue and has severely impacted me.)
Refused to take her to her friends birthday party we already had planned and ignored my phone calls when I tried getting in touch about taking her myself.
Left me waiting for over an hour at the bus station after telling me ten minutes before we were supposed to meet.
Took my daughters favorite bunny and threw it away and lied to my daughter.
Threw away clothes and shoes I have bought her.
Insulted my daughters clothes that I have sent her in repeatedly to her face.
Discusses adult matters with her (she is five) that she shouldn't be involved or aware of.
Swears and insults their other child.
Tells my daughter that I am "naughty" and that she should "shout naughty at me" whenever I am "naughty"
Doesn't feed her unless it's McDonald or snacks.
These are just a few examples and to be honest, I've had enough. This is constant battle. We went through court a few years ago due to me telling him to; because he had a drinking problem and wasn't looking after himself and around the time he got with his girlfriend, he was choosing to see her over his daughter.. so I demanded if he wants to stroll in and out of her life whenever he wanted, that I was not going to allow it and if he wants to see her that point on, he should get it done legally. I wasn't risking my daughter growing up without a father. He did what I told him to do and took me to court. He asked for 1 night a week. That's it. Cool.
Ever since then I have happily allowed him taking her away on holiday, keep her on school nights, later times to accommodate him just for them to throw it back in my face.
The last straw was a few months ago when his partner messaged asking if I had heard from him because she was worried.. I asked her if everything was okay and she rang me bawling telling me he had taken their son and threatened to kill himself. He even went onto sending her a message saying he was dead. All whilst his son was in his care. I obviously became very concerned but not surprised, he hasn't been mentally well for a long time and I too suffered the same type of situations when I too was with him. (I came downstairs on my birthday with my daughter to find he had been cutting his wrists) I spoke with him eventually when he had calmed down and he told me how severely depressed and suicidal he was and everyday was a struggle trying not to hurt himself. He told me the only thing keeping him alive is our daughter. I felt bad and told him as long as he seek help, he was still allowed to see his daughter. He fed me what I now think is lies about his visit to the hospital because ever since then, I haven't heard anything about it, despite asking.. and he seems to be getting progressively worse.
Fast forward to the last two weeks.. I receive a phone call from social services informing me that someone had reported me and the proceeded to read what was put and I'm not gonna lie, it sucked, a lot. I was accused of having different men in my bed every night, being mentally unwell, on medication and was awaiting psychosis, was doing drugs in front of my daughter, said I wasn't feeding my daughter, said I was refusing to take her to school, was trying to manipulate my daughter into getting her father back living with us, and other claims were made but those are from the top of my head.
I'll paint you a picture of my life. I'm a single mother, who works for an amazing company that fits around my daughter, i regularly go on days out to the countryside, I've been seeing my best friend for over a year that my daughter doesn't know about because I am concentrating on myself and her more than a relationship. I don't do drugs or drink, I spend my nights writing or playing music. I'm not mentally unwell nor am I on any medication. I take my daughter to school and ballet & jazz dancing. We regularly read and she is doing amazing at school. There is no concern on my part, at all. I told her father that I didn't want her to be around his partner anymore and that if he is to take her to see her, that it is going against me. He did just that, numerous times and now I want to put a stop to this.
My question is, am I being unreasonable to stop her from going to his house and even though the court order states she can stay at his house one night a week, am I being unreasonable that I want this to go back to court so I can change the order to supervised visits? I believe they are both dangerous, more so her and at this point and after everything that has happened, I can't trust them. Please help.