Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

AIBU mothers day gift returned by partner and no replacement!

40 replies

LEd1984 · 07/04/2019 20:46

I had such a lovely mother's day, my eldest made a card from school, I received flowers, a jumper and we went for dinner. The jumper wasn't my kind of thing so I kindly said thank you but I would return it and pick something else. Well that's what I thought! I went to exchange today to only find out that my partner had already returned it and didn't mention this at all to me until I asked. Is it acceptable to buy someone a gift and then return it with no offering of something that I would actually like!!

OP posts:
TheGrey1houndSpeaks · 07/04/2019 20:49

You kindly said thank you but you’d return it and pick something else?! I wouldn’t have replaced it either.

Thehop · 07/04/2019 20:50

I wouldn’t have replaced it, either.

strawberriesandsugar · 07/04/2019 20:52

I would have been glad you told me as it would be a waste of a present otherwise. If you can't be honest with your family....
yanbu but strange

strawberriesandsugar · 07/04/2019 20:54

Bit, not but

slipperywhensparticus · 07/04/2019 20:55

That was nasty of him what were you supposed to do keep it in the drawer

SilverySurfer · 07/04/2019 20:56

It would be different if the jumper was the wrong size but I think it's a bit off to tell the giver that it's not your sort of thing. I would also return and not replace

pandarific · 07/04/2019 20:56

Maybe he thought he was saving you a job?

AuntMarch · 07/04/2019 20:58

I think I'd have white lied later and said it didn't fit well, rather than say I didn't like it. But even being honest is better than it sitting in a drawer and being wasted money. DP is being a bit too sensitive over that I think! What was said when you asked?

Catmum26 · 07/04/2019 21:01

you received flowers and went for dinner and have said yourself you had a lovely day. you were extremely lucky to get the flowers and the meal out tbh! mother’s day shouldn’t be about gifts it should be about spending time as a family which you did.. you told him you didn’t like the jumper so he took it back? i think yabvu

woolduvet · 07/04/2019 21:01

Surely he saved you a job and forgot to mention it. If he couldn't choose the right the first time I'd imagine him thinking well you get a new one.

girlwithadragontattoo · 07/04/2019 21:01

I can't believe some of the responses on here. If i didn't like something I'd have said pretty much what you did. Would they rather you had something you liked or something shoved in a draw and forgotten about? Plus the added bonus is they won't get you similar next time.
If my partner said this to me i wouldn't be offended either.

Cryalot2 · 07/04/2019 21:05

I would have pretended to like it and tried to have seen if I could wear it, as could be surprised.
Possibly there were hurt feelings which is why it was not replaced.
A present is something someone takes time to buy, not something you go choose .
Yes it may not have been to your taste, but they tried.
You could ask or perhaps should ask.

WoahThereMama · 07/04/2019 21:05

You got a card, flowers and went for dinner as well. Mothers Day is over and forgotten about - I wouldn’t be chasing up another present in lieu of the jumper if I were you.

Yabbers · 07/04/2019 21:33

What did he say when you asked him?

TheWernethWife · 07/04/2019 21:50

Your partner returned it without telling you and kept the money. Why didn't he let you do it and maybe choose something else more to your taste. It sounds very childish of him in my opinion, my partner would have given me the money or taken a credit note, not bloody pocketed the money, but my partner is not petty. I don't think you are being unreasonable, I would be very annoyed with this behaviour and wonder why women settle for shoddy behaviour from their partners and why some women expect that this is the norm.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 07/04/2019 21:53

Why have you posted this thread twice?

gamerchick · 07/04/2019 21:54

I wouldn't have got anything else either. It's a royal kick in the teeth when someone says thanks but no thanks to a present. Better to just quietly return imo. It doesn't take much to spare some feelings sometimes.

MiniEggAddiction · 07/04/2019 21:57

I think it depends if money is tight - since you got fairly well treated I'm assuming it isn't. In that case I really wouldn't be chasing up the gift in exchange for the jumper. They tried to buy you a thoughtful gift and missed the mark. It's the thought that counts and getting store credit is hardly in the spirit of mother's day anyway!

KarmaStar · 07/04/2019 22:09

Hi op,
No you were not bu!!if it was me in your dp's shoes,I'd let you swap it for something you did like!
Your dp is bu.
Have some more Flowersinstead

TheWernethWife · 08/04/2019 14:01

My partner would have taken it back and either got a refund and given me the money or failing that, a credit note so I could chose something that was nearer my taste. But then, my partner is not a knob and wouldn't throw his dolly out of the pram like yours did.

strathmore · 08/04/2019 14:17

You broke the rule- however not your taste a gift from your children is you have to keep it and wear it.

TheWernethWife · 15/04/2019 12:30

TheOnly my first post was done on my tablet and I didn't think it had loaded so did it again on my PC. HTH

Meandwinealone · 15/04/2019 13:10

It’s odd. But then I would have said do you mind if i take it back and chose something Else.

PutyourtoponTrevor · 15/04/2019 13:20

So you're supposed to keep something you don't like? I would have done exactly what you did OP and my partner would have totally understood, as I did when I got him something he didn't like.

If you can't say you don't like something to your partner I find that more sad

DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops · 15/04/2019 14:51

Having worked in retail, I had lots of people bringing back stuff they don't like. I can understand why buyers are upset, but personally I'd rather not have spent dead money on an unworn item. He should have got you a gift receipt in the first place. Then you could make an excuse & swap it at your discretion.

DP has quietly festered for 4 months about the scarf he bought me for Xmas that he could tell I didn't like but I didn't want to hurt his feelings and say so. He got it off the market I think so giving it back isn't an option. I don't mind & I don't want a replacement present, I just wish the whole set up was less awkward.