Help!

[bubblesthree]

My boyfriends brother is really getting on my nerves.

Firstly he's been in a relationship for 2 minutes and already he's talking about extravagant wedding proposals and showing me engagement rings he's planning on buying her worth 9 grand.
The thing is, its not this thats actually bothering me because I am actually genuinely happy for him its how he's saying these things to me. Its coming across like he's in some sort of competition with me and my boyfriend, and he alway's has to do one better than us or portray his relationship to be better than ours - which is absolutely ridiculous.

At the end of the day this is my boyfriends brother - there is absolutely no competition on our part, we just want nothing but the best for him and it upsets me that he's behaving this way.

Here are a few examples of what he's like:

1. I'll be discussing the fact I'd love to get married but due to our current finances we just wouldn't be able to afford it as of yet - he then proceeds to show me a 9 grand engagement ring that he's planning on buying his girlfriend.

1. ill tell him money is tight and straight after he'll tell me how him and his girlfriend are on a huge wage between them and starts showing me all the mansions they can buy.

1. books the same hotel as me and my boyfriend did but tells me he's booked the most expensive room there.

1. discussing baby names and he says 'lets face it me and * will be having kids before you two!" - which is massively insensitive. What if me and my partner couldn't actually have babies?

There is so many more but I'll be here all day. Its really getting to me at the moment and I don't really know how I deal with this? Can someone advise?

Just nod, say "oh yeah" and walk away every time he gets on your tits. He's actually saying what he could/might do, but hasn't done. He could be spouting shite.

@twizzleegg - love this idea haha but then id be stooping to his level which I probably shouldn't do. arghhh.

Op = he's a knob! Harry Enfield had a character called ' I'm Considerably richer than YOU' .

We all know a twat like this.

I don't think you sound jealous OP.
He sounds like a shallow, self-obsessed twat. Who for whatever reason is tying to play a game of one-upmanship with you. Don't engage with his games, when he starts bleating on about how he is "considerably more richer than you"

You don’t sound jealous to me and I’d be annoyed by his comments too he comes across as arrogant and childish. If he does it again just say ‘great’ make it clear you aren’t interested and he should eventually give up.

@greyby25 haha so annoying isn't it!! after about an hour of smiling and nodding I'm literally ready for jumping of a cliff. He's honestly relentless - some of the stuff he comes out with I'm like seriously?!?! what is going on !!! I could honestly list so many more - weird!!

That good old MN chestnut “Did you mean to be so rude” comes to mind!

Thanks for all the comments guys - I'm feeling better about the situation already. I was beginning to think I was just horrible and bitter - honestly I want to be happy for them but when I'm getting these constant comments from him its SO difficult! really winds me up. So uncalled for and completely insensitive

@PlainSpeakingStraightTalking-cross post, that's exactly what I thought of too when I read the OP

@bubblesthree It’s a ‘look what we got/can have brag’ that’s all isn’t it? Dp’s sisters boyfriend is a bit like this. Bought a million pound house 20 months ago, and already planning a new kitchen, the other custom made with whatever worktops is only a year old. It’s a gorgeous house. But they are 18 months living there now, so obviously the kitchen is old, all the tiles in the hallway are being replaced, then they are having new bathrooms. It was ALL brand new, that they put in when they moved in. My mind spins. But hey, it’s there money, I just see a waste now🤷🏻‍♀️ So I kind of get where you are coming from lol (and yes I am green eyed of them but like hell will I ever let them know! I like my 2 bed flat......sometimes..)

@snowyalpsandpeaks - oh no!!! I feel your pain haha there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a 2 bed flat - who wants a big house anyway?? I'm perfectly happy with my little flat too haha People are just nobs! honestly I hate humans sometimes haha

He fancies you OP. Trying to impress you.

He’s jealous of his brother and he wants you to be his girlfriend!

But then I also remind myself that they are 20 years+ older than me...... maybe one day when my numbers come up, I’ll have my own big house (actually their’s isn’t that big for the money because of location, they could have for a huge on else where) and when I do have my big house I’ll invite you around @bubblesthree and if I have plenty left over still I’ll throw some your way!..... and back I go into my fantasy head dreaming of those numbers.....

One of those people who can't bear to think anyone else might be doing better than they are. I'm sure you're not jealous, OP. I think I'd be tempted to play him at his own game. Show him some brochures for or posh new cars and say you're thinking of buying one. And, "so where are you going on holiday his year dbro? The Maldives look nice".

@supercuts oh no!! don't say this I bloody hope not haha
I do think he might be slightly jealous of my boyfriend though !!

Help

Seriously? Ridiculous thread title for this nonsense.

It’s attention seeking. Grow up.

@snowalpsandpeaks hahaha LOVE THIS!!! we'll both get there one day for sure and as I always say I'd much rather be happy than have loads of money and be unhappy which I think my boyfriends brother is.
His girlfriend has told me he's massively controlling and insecure so I know things aren't 100% which makes me wonder even more why he's saying these things. people are odd!

@incrediblysadtoo -
didn't really give my title much thought - just the first thing that popped into my head but apologises if it offended you so much - nobody has died though - its ok!

@singlenotsingle So tempting!! haha

@bubblesthree lol in all honesty I don’t think they do it on purpose. They just like the house, they get bored and they have the money and means to change it. I admit I am jealous, because I wish I had that means, but I don’t show it, and I try to take an interest, but to be honest when they are talking custom this and custom that about things I’ve never even heard of, it’s very much a smile and ‘ooo that sounds nice’. And because I was really interested when they done round 1, I think they believe I still am. Where as now as I said, I just think what a waste of money, materials, time, effort, then also the environmental impact, because it will all go to landfill minus a few things. So that makes me disheartened, probably because I don’t have the money to do that, so look after the things I do have. Whereas they look at it as throwing away last years primark t-shirt lol

I suspect none, or little, of what he says is actually true. I have a family member who makes similar claims (not my generation, much younger, so not me he is in competition with) and, whilst he means what he says and would love it to be true, there is no way he can deliver. I know his friends laugh about it (I have seen them on FB), but he never seems to learn.
The fact he doesn't say it in front of his brother may also point to him not being entirely truthful. Next time he says something, wait until your boyfriend comes back into the room, and repeat it in front of both of them. I suspect the brother will squirm.

@Twizzleegg is right. I’d go so far as to play imaginary ‘Topper bingo’ so that as soon as he starts talking about buying the expensive ring/house/whatever, get your imaginary bingo dabber, fill in the square then when he’s said 3, shout Bingo or house! I would relentlessly take the piss until he shut up. Explain to him that you are playing ‘Topper bingo’ and eagerly await his next Topper comment so you can complete your bingo card. When he asks what the prize is, tell him ‘Not being a wanker’ with a very serious face.

If you think that will cause offence, still do it, after all, he’s being offensive to you. You could, if feeling very pissed off, ask him extremely seriously why he always insists on doing this and does he realise just what a twat/how offensive it is?

LOL’d at “If you think that will cause offence, still do it...” 😁