To not give ds anything else to eat?

[lizzlebizzle33]

Ds (3yo) has for the third time this week tipped his cup of water all over his tea, I'm fed up of it. AIBU to not get be him anything else to eat?

OP get in charge for God's sake. YOU are the parent and DS needs to learn his table manners. Just keep calm, serve his food and don't give him a drink with his meal and explain that this will be the rule until he's a big boy and stops pouring his water on his dinner!

I would give him what you’re having and be done with it. If he deliberately poured water on it then that would be it. He most certainly wouldn’t be getting pudding that’s for certain.

I would make exceptions for things that he blatantly didn’t like e.g. my now sixteen year old doesn’t like spicy foods at all and never has, and doesn’t like certain red meat so I would do something else for him in that case, but if it was general spag Bol then he’d be getting that as wel.

It’s not cruel to withhold dessert or even to not offer something else if he is deliberately pouring his water over his food. He’d be told that that was it for dinner then. I’d like to bet that he would soon get the message.

Basic principles for feeding a toddler are:

You provide a selection of food that is overall a balanced diet.

You have no say about which parts of that selection he chooses to put in his mouth.

You don't comment on, praise, reward or express disappointment about what he chooses to eat.

You don't have to give him what he wants.

Don't add treats to make up for what he hasn't eaten.

Don't make getting sweet food a reward for eating savoury. That just makes the savoury seem less attractive and the sweet food even better.

Being hungry when a mealtime comes round can make food more appetising and it isn't child abuse.

It's fine to offer a snack before bed if he hasn't eaten his evening meal.

If he can't manage a cup without spilling it, find something he is happy to drink from that has a lid. It could be a sports bottle if he doesn't like the sippy cup.

Try very hard not to get too emotionally invested in what he eats. The more you try to be in control, the more stressed you will both be around food and he will always win.

He's only three it's not worth getting into 'he did it deliberately territory', as other posters have said, just don't give him water/fluids with food. In any case drinking at the same time as eating is not always advisable as can affect proper digestion of food. Get into a routine that he has the drink afterwards.

Sounds like he wants to go straight to the pudding and/or he’s trying to see reaction you’ll give and if that reaction will be consistent (as a way of working out what the ‘rules’ are). I have a two year old, she asked for a specific breakfast which I made her (just cereal), she then said she didn’t want it as soon as it was on the table, I said ‘it’s that or nothing’, she whinged for half a hour and then ate it and asked for more!

Just give him a very small amount of water in a cup, that's what they do at nursery so it won't matter if that pour it over their food.

It's natural to need sips of a drink mid meal. I certainly would find it extremely hard to eat a full main course without doing so.

So you will have to sit with your child, and when he needs a sip, pass him the cup with only a couple of tablespoons of water in. Then remove the cup and let him continue eating until he asks again, then again just give him a sip or two. If he complains, say clearly, that no, he can't have a cupful like a big boy, because he poured it on his food last time.
After a few days of this he'll probably be fed up, and prepared to drink properly.

My dd went through a phase of doing this, it's purely attention seeking so don't give the attention. No water with her tea. I would drain the water off and feed it her anyway. Phase didn't last long.

"Give him a sippy cup with a lid obvs!! He's 3!"

most 2 year olds I know can drink from an open cup. I'd not put enough in it for it to spoil dinner though! Plus it doesn't sound like DC "can't" use the cup but is choosing to tip it.
Agree with PP - keep water out of reach while eating and explain its until he can make good choices having both in reach.

If we're having a meal that's new to DS or hit and miss with him I always serve it with bread and butter on the side. That way there is something he will definitely eat, but without me changing the meal on request.

Thought we have also changed what we eat as a family, so some night it will be an adult choice and sometimes I eat sausage and mash.

Obviously you would be unreasonable to deny him dinner, don't turn food into a power game! I would give him a drink before dinner and not during though.