to think everyone else is out there having a good time and I'm not ?

[Peachsnowpop]

Looking on facebook all my friends (acquaintances) seems to either be at weddings, 40/50th birthday celebrations, flying off to Florida or other lovely places or just generally having a great time with friends/groups .... and then there's me. I'm married with 3 child and have a very very small group of friends. But none of them have upcoming landmark birthdays, will be getting married or are a group that i can arrange days out with the children. They are good friends that i go out with and have a laugh and enjoy, we have a holiday planned this year together.

I just feel so worn down by the general humdrum of every day life. We (my H and our children) don't do a lot as i have 2 SEN children who refuse to go out on most days/week-ends and there is always so much to do indoors (tidying/washing/food shop/school homework/visit parents). We have a few things planned/booked as a family for this year yet everyone else seems to be having a whale of time every single week-end.

I think avoid FB and don't believe everything you see on there.

FB is a very false reality,
I’m Sorry your life seems dull to you but I suspect most of us find our own lives rather drab. Yours does sound harder than most tho.

I know just what you mean but Facebook only shows you a tiny bit of the picture. You don't see the debt or the scrimping and saving. There's always something people dislike about their lives but you need to step away from social media and do something. Go for a nice walk with your kids. Cook something together. Do the things, take pics if you want but don't waste your life watching other people live theirs x

Don't believe everything on Facebook. My friend was moaning on our WhatsApp about having a shit day out with her dd and dh. Minutes later she checked in on Facebook telling an entirely different story, making out that all was good in the world.
My Facebook page is full of days out, holidays etc but I don't update on days like today when I'm up to my neck in washing and ironing.

I had a live example of this the other day! Met a friend whose international jetset lifestyle is the envy of insta (especially compared with my humdrum mat leave). Except she’s on her knees having had 2 family bereavements, visited a sick friend overseas and got ill herself while travelling all in the space of 3 months. Social media can be very carefully curated to edit out the bad bits. I think the reality is v different for most people. Sorry if you’re struggling though - parenting is enough of a grind without SEN thrown into the mix.

This might out me to anyone who knows me op but I used to have a friend who would dress up, take pictures of us all and post on fb about "great night out with the girls" "what a wild one" "things got messy" except once we'd got the pictures she would go straight off to bed.

Shed post about things you were at where she sulked in a corner, about what a wonderful time everyone had

Social media is total bs. It honestly is. Everyone is lying, so many people are editing their photos to make themselves slimmer, airbrushing, day sunnier etc. Sounds like you have a lovely group of friends and that's probably a lot more than most of these people have.

People don't call it FakeBook for nothing.

I used to feel the same OO but now I just don't look or skin over very quickly. Most people I know in rl are similar to me - they work hard, are knackered at weekends, relish a night in and have a rare night out.

A good friend of mine is always on fb, tagging herself in everything, checking into a cafe for a coffee, always smiling with large groups of friends, away on holidays with friends etc. I know for a fact that she's lonely, desperate for a romantic partner and really insecure. She only goes out all the time so she forgets about the fact that she's on her own.

I feel awful when the dcs break up from school. People I know are all putting up photos of their dcs off on long outdoor adventures, skateboarding, swimming in mountain lakes, volunteering at a homeless shelter or just hanging out with huge groups of teenagers etc.
My dcs sleep a lot of the day and are shattered. They only seem to come alive in the afternoon when we hang out at home or go out to the cinema together.

Talking to my sister and best friend (who have dcs similar ages) my teen dcs are very normal. Mono syllabic and constantly tired.

Fb is pretty shit at reflecting real life. It's based on insecurity. Insecure people post to project their life's to others and insecure people see it and believe it, further fuelling the insecurity. We're all insecure.

Your life is normal OP I promise.

Thinking about it, when I am genuinely having a great time somewhere I rarely post on social media about it. I'm too busy enjoying myself

Also everyone has to do housework, everyone has washing, ironing egg to do. No one is going to post when they are feeling worn down, .spending the day doing housework etc.

Lots of people will have saved up pictures that they post to keep up the regular posts of a great life.

I had a friend who was a healthy eating blogger, and would post what she'd eaten that day except I knew what she'd eaten and it wasn't that! Just saved up pictures.

Facebook is the highlights reel, not the cut scenes. People don’t post when they’re having a bad day or have had a big root canal (well, some do!). Try to remember that you’re only seeing one side of their lives, it doesn’t mean it’s always that way. You could argue that if someone really enjoys something they just live it, rather than document every minute for an audience.

I also have a friend who uses fb like a diary, lusting every single action, arrangement and thing she or her kids have done that day. Her status's are really long and very boastful in a passive aggressive way.

People comment on it with things like "you work so hard hun" or "you're amazing hun" but believe me, in RL people roll their eyes about it.

Also you never know what’s going on behind closed doors - having a nice holiday could mean it’s a last ditch attempt to save a struggling marriage, a big party might be a distraction from a draining stressful job, a cute photo of a smiling child doesn’t mean they weren’t throwing a tantrum just a few minutes before!

Well they are not going to post the boring stuff. Switch off the Facebook, it is not for the insecure and easily affected.

I like checking-in on Facebook/insta, but I find those that always seem to be doing something or claim to be 'living their best life' are often unhappy in their lives. Don't believe everything you see on social media.

Hi. Just wanted to say I know were you’re coming from. My ds has Sen and whilst we try and have days outs and go places as often as we can, it’s hard work. My dd likes going places but she gets fed up sometimes of having tne day ruined by her brother having constant meltdowns. I used to post on Facebook more than I do now but only to check in places like jungle gyms so nowhere glamorous lol, but I don’t use it as much now a days. I definitely agree that with Facebook things aren’t always what they seen, and people will only post the good stuff, but people do post some utter crap too, mostly self indulgent poor me my life is rubbish (when in fact they are very lucky in their lives) etc. It’s this I roll my eyes at and can’t do with so I just don’t go on as much as I did, and I’ve unfollowed a few people who do my head in lol.

Honestly, don’t believe what you see on Facebook! I’ve got 4 best friends and from their Facebook posts, you’d think everything is glossy, happy, perfect. The reality is very very different!!

Facebook is definitely a rubbish thing to look at. Like couple's that post a million pictures with captions such as "so in love" a gazillion times in the year. It's unnecessary.

Agree with all previous posters that it's nonsense.

I've not been away in years on holidays and up until maternity leave, worked all hours God sent. My partner have never been away on holiday together either!

Enjoy having a lazy Sunday with a film and a cuppa and relax. Life can be a bit boring sometimes but that's honestly ok too.

Don’t worry; my life is very boring; single mum, 1 DS with Adhd , I feel like I have to be around to keep half an eye out for him the whole time as he is always getting into trouble, smoking weed, trying alcohol, very irresponsible. One DD who is older. We don’t go on holiday as the two of them really really don’t get on and it’s impossible to have a good time. Lots of fb pics when they were younger; after the age of my son being 12- very few FB pics; only grimaces and no days out :-(

They are good friends that i go out with and have a laugh and enjoy, we have a holiday planned this year together

That's a lot more than a lot of the women posting on MN have.

As for the chores, do online shopping, get a cleaner if you can afford it and tell the kids to do their own homework (I realise if they have SN that might be more difficult but despite the stupid project work schools send home, it is for the kids not the parents).

But yes to everything other people have said. People only post the nice things. They're rarely going to go on FB and say everything is rubbish, I hate my kids and I want to run away, unless things are really desperate. Yes it is all about how wonderful life is.

I only post running stuff because I don't have anything else interesting to post.

And I think the people who rarely post are probably the ones who are really having a nice life.

Don’t believe everything you read. Maybe give yourself a break from FB, it can be a breath of fresh air! X

Facebook should really be called Fakebook.

An acquaintance through the children wanted something I had, so I said I'd drop it off. I'd never been to her house before, and frankly I didn't recognise it from the one on her FB. Now anyone that knows me will know my house is far from pristine, but her sparklingly tidy house was far less tidy than mine. The pictures her youngest did at nursery were stuck to the kitchen cupboard doors, they were not the Picasso masterpieces I was expecting from her FB profile but your usual daubs of paint with added glitter. I suspect the FB ones were ones she had done herself. And the always got a tin of homebake on the go....was replaced by an apology 'sorry can't offer you tea as there's no milk and the only biscuits are Rich Tea'

You don’t have to be doing things constantly.
You said you have good friends and go out and have a laugh. Then you have a holiday coming up. Sounds perfect to me.
You have something fun to look forward to with good friends. what else you need ?

If you visit parents then it sounds like you got out somewhere.
People aren't really going to post their crap, are they.
Not ... my wife is too depressed to get off the sofa, my husband had an affair, my teenager is dealing drugs, I can't pay the rent, my youngest won't stop biting people. It all happens just not shared publicly (who would share it all?).

Every yr we get a Xmas Round Robin from old family friend. It is wildly positive & upbeat. DC cringe at the apparent bragfest. I know the writer struggles every day with her mental health. But she's not going to burden other people with that, is she?

I’m flying off for a holiday to the US and Canada soon, have just exchanged contracts on my first home and I’ve got amazing things happening career wise.

I also cry myself to sleep most nights. I’d gladly swap it all for a husband and three children. I’m 35, desperately alone and have been single for many years...the hangover from an abusive childhood.

You can never tell what’s going on behind those smiles and posed pictures. They might be gut wrenchingly sad. Count your blessings.

Don’t do Facebook, no interest. I imagine most people's lives are much more like your own than they would care to admit.
If they are having such a fantastic time, how can they be spending so many hours constantly updating everyone on their every move .....
The whole thing’s bizarre and I’m sure it contributes to the nation’s ailing mental health. Envy and dissatisfaction isn’t healthy or good for anyone (especially when it’s often based on wildly exaggerated truths or downright whoppers).
Perhaps I’m envious, doubt if I could muster more than a dozen “friends” 😁 but then I consider friends people I’ve known pretty intimately for donkey’s years, not someone I’ve swapped numbers with at a bus stop.