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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let DCs veg out and not leave the house

37 replies

shesgrownhorns · 06/04/2019 14:54

This has been our day:

DD(9) went for a riding lesson first thing, came home and did some experimental cooking which took an hour or so, DS (11) has been glued to the X box playing farming simulator all day. Dd is now watching you tube on her phone. This is probably all we'll do now for the rest of the day. I've been doing the usual housework, DH is at work.

AIBU not to have gone out somewhere or something? Does anyone else just let their kids veg out and not do anything? I feel very guilty.

OP posts:
Governoress86 · 06/04/2019 14:58

I think it will be fine. My, DP and DD(9) have not got dressed today. It has been a really busy week and we just want to chill out and not do much.

My DD has been watching a bit of YouTube, playing with her dolls house, watched a film and is now playing with Lego.

I asked if she would like to do anything and she said she wanted a lazy day.

chuttypicks · 06/04/2019 14:58

It's 3pm, they've already done some activities. Vegging our for the rest of the day is perfectly fine imo! Enjoy it!!

Ted27 · 06/04/2019 15:00

My 14 year old did his paper round, back by 9.30, did his weekend chores, we had brunch at 11.30. He did an hour of homework, rest of the day he will be on PS4 and phone. I'm ok with that. We are out tomorrow, next weekend he is on an activity trip with scouts for two days. It balances out.

CherryBlossom23 · 06/04/2019 15:02

Do you really need to ask this question? Nobody needs to be doing activities 24/7, it's an invention of modern parenting. It's good for kids to be bored sometimes and learn how to entertain themselves, they don't need constant outside interaction.

BendydickCuminsnatch · 06/04/2019 15:03

Chilling out is desperately underrated, it’s really important IMO.

Orchidflower1 · 06/04/2019 15:04

Yep perfectly fine. Mine have done homework, “helped” to change their beds, bath and hair wash, we’ve walked the dog and been to the cafe for lunch. Now they are x boxing/ watching tv and we’ ll play cards in a bit. Tbh we are all tired and everyone needs some quiet time. As a child we constantly did things at weekends and I don’t want that for my dc. A mix of busy and quiet days is best imho.

mrsoutnumbered · 06/04/2019 15:05

Agree with pp. It's okay for kids to veg out and relax. They don't need to be entertained 24/7.

Eliza9919 · 06/04/2019 15:07

I got up at 1 and have done nothing but lie on the sofa ignoring the housework. Now I'm watching a shitty film. That's all I'm doing for the rest of the day.

I'm sure your kids will be fine.

MamaLovesMango · 06/04/2019 15:11

Chilling out is really important. Your body and brain needs rest to be healthy! There should be no guilt in it at all.

I’ve not been well so that has swayed things a bit but DD(6) is really tired from a busy term at school and DD(1) has a cold and didn’t sleep well like that’s unusual Hmm so we’ve had all the toys out for her and the duvet on the sofa for me and older DD and we’re Netflix-ing! It’s exactly what we need and not a single fuck is given Smile

myothernameismyrealone · 06/04/2019 15:12

My memory may well be faulty, but I'm sure going out (other than for essential things like the weekly shop or whatever) was the exception or a treat rather than the norm when I was on school holidays - or indeed the weekends. We did have play dates and so on and go swimming or whatever but my parents were really busy with running their own business and doing jobs around the house. We were expected to read, play games, mess around in the garden and occupy ourselves. I plan to do the same with my DC - especially as oldest DC is already addicted to going out and doing things whereas I think he needs downtime. Plus, it encourages creativity.

BloodsportForAll · 06/04/2019 15:13

I'm holding down the fort from my bed. It's only a small one level flat so the kids and I are literally round the corner from each other. They're entertaining themselves with TV, kindles, phone, teddies and dressing them up, and making Easter cards with just pens and plain paper.

We are making the most of dd not having football matches all morning. I've been reading my paper and the dog has flitted between my room and sitting with dd2 for extra affection.

We go out when my OH is around, ie Sunday. So a lazy Saturday on the first day of the break suits us.

BeardedMum · 06/04/2019 15:15

My DS2 who is 12 has been playing computer games since 9am this morning in his pyjamas and is eating American pan cakes with Nutella. Saturdays is our do whatever we like day. Sundays is family days out and we are off to the seaside for some fresh air. I never feel guilty about chilling out we live busy lives during the week.

Snog · 06/04/2019 15:18

I think your ds should get some fresh air and exercise even for half an hour and do something to help around the house as xboxing all day doesn't seem very healthy or constructive!

Crunchymum · 06/04/2019 15:19

It always staggers me when people ask this?

We have very regular PJ days as my kids (younger) are absolutely shattered come the weekend.

I swear it's only on MN that people think one lazy day is akin to child neglect.

CoperCabana · 06/04/2019 15:19

I think it is SOOOOOO important for kids to be able to chill. So many of my friends and acquaintances plan jam packed activities over weekends and holidays. My kids like to chill, probably because I do. Unless one of us is poorly, we try and get out for a walk / some fresh air but even then, we make sure we avoid big busy places or ‘organised fun’.

cloudymelonade · 06/04/2019 15:21

I would actively encourage you to have more days like this! They need to rest as much as adults do.

Tunt · 06/04/2019 15:22

I don’t mind lazy days, it’s the screen time I can’t stand. After a couple of hours of TV I find myself switching it off and making them do something else.

Ginger1982 · 06/04/2019 15:25

I think it's fine to chill out (I like doing it myself) but not sure I'd be keen on DS spending all day attached to a screen. Your DD at least has done some other things too.

Nicpem1982 · 06/04/2019 15:28

Weve deliberately stopped jamming every weekend full of activities dd does a couple of paid activities on a Saturday morning and the afternoon is ours to chill out right now shes watching TV on her tablet in her onesie.

Shes a much calmer child woth some planned in down time

AnnieMay100 · 06/04/2019 15:52

We have planned ‘lazy days’ every Saturday and during school holidays at least once a week. It’s too full on having things planned every single day all day, having a break is important. It’s good for children to be bored sometimes too.

StarlightIntheNight · 06/04/2019 16:15

I try not to let them on electronics all day long. But my children are younger then yours at 5 and 7. Both played in playroom for 30 minutes. My ds played football for 2 hours this morning, while my dd did homework and hung around the house not doing much. We then took the dog out and hung around the park watching my son the last 30 mins. They watched tv for 30 minutes while having lunch. Then they went to the park for 3 hours. Now they have spent one hour creating story books (writing and doing the art). They are still doing it currently. Don't get me wrong, they do watch tv. I plan on letting them watch a movie soon, once they are done this latest activity. I just try not to let them do it or play on iPad/kindle all day long. We also do reading during day/evening for 30 mins to an hour. I feel guilty though, that I am on mumsnet, when I should probably be cleaning more or baking or doing something more productive. In fact, I probably should cut my internet time down! And be more present with the kids... I wish the weather were better so I could at least get out!

And of course its okay to have a lazy day in, but the problem is when it happens during the whole break. With the kids, I like to make goals. We have to get out of the house once in the morning and once in the afternoon. We try to pass the time in other ways before turning to tv and iPad. I use those only for when I need quiet time and they have already played upstairs etc. I understand when they are older, they might want to have on occasion these types of day playing video games etc. And I would let them, but only once every few months (if I can help it!!!).

StarlightIntheNight · 06/04/2019 16:19

And btw I have seen people post about chilling. Kids can chill with out watching tv...reading books, doing art work, listening to music, audio books, hanging out with friends, taking a bath (my kids can spend an hour in the bath sometimes! lol).

Mymomsbetterthanyomom · 06/04/2019 16:29

Girl,please enjoy this moment in your life. Even though they are chillin out on their devices etc..they are home!You know they are safe and sound at home with you.Before you know it they will be out doing sports or wanting to be out with their friends.And then they will be in college...So enjoy it!!

Original poster
shesgrownhorns · 06/04/2019 16:32

Thank you so much all of you. Guilt reduced considerably now thanks to you :)

OP posts:
BeardedMum · 06/04/2019 16:33

Well, most teens spend time playing computer games Skyping with their friends or attached to their phones. Try stopping them😂