AIBU to not let him play Fortnite?

[meanmummy1]

Okay so DS 7 (8 in June) has an Xbox in his bedroom. He's only allowed it for limited time and his room must be tidied and other bits (homework etc) have to be completed.

He has mostly Lego games, which I personally think are fun and age appropriate too....

At a class party this evening and all the other children in his class were on and on about Fortnite and how they all play together.
DS looked quite sad so I chatted to some other mums about it as I'm quite clueless when it comes to Xbox Live and my child's safety with joining.

They all seemed horrified I haven't let him play it. Said it must be a shame for him in school as their DC are all obsessed and he must miss out.
They said they all play together in a party or something and yes strangers can join in too?

Am I being clueless here or is this the case?

Anyway cue DS 7 hearing the conversation and the fact that all the mums seemed gob smacked and to be honest made me feel a little shitty for not letting him play, he's now sulking.. it's not fair, he always gets left out, etc, etc......

I remember my little brother used to get very upset when he was a child on his Xbox as some American boy was horrible to him on it.

I don't really want my child interacting with strangers over Xbox???

I know it is a 12 but Am I being too sensitive or is Fortnite safe and would you allow a 7 year old access to Xbox live?!

I know ONE child in my child’s Year 2 class who plays. One. A lot of parents avoid play dates with this child at his home partly because of this (happy to meet at a park or at their homes but they don’t want their children playing fortnite or any other age inappropriate games).

Because the vast majority of children don’t have games consoles at home they just don’t really know or care about them so can get on with just playing.

I’m incredibly grateful for like minded parents in the class. It’s something most people feel strongly about as opposed to some group parent plot BTW!

YANBU. The Duke of Sussex agrees with you (Harry).

I have an 8 year old and loads of kids in his class play fortnite.
He is allowed an hour on the weekends - never 'live' and only allowed to join a closed group with his friends. We only allow him to play downstairs while we are in the same room.
To be honest he's not really that bothered with it and doesn't always ask, sometimes he just forgets. He's not complained about having to stop the game when times up so I don't think any of them are that serious about it.
I also have a 16 year old son. He didn't show any interest in Xbox until he was 12. At 8 he was out on the field at the top of our road playing football or on the trampoline or out on his scooter or bike. I do think kids are exposed to gaming a lot earlier now, it seems to have become more 'acceptable'.

look you know your child, you know if hes mature enough and if he has other interests offline,
mine plays, he got his own xbox at about 6 or 7 with his saved xmas and birthday money, he plays, in fact hes playing right now, 8.15pm Friday night in NZ, with the two boys down the road on neighboring farms, they play quite a few different games not just fortnite, they will also ride bikes and play rugby together or all go to each others homes to play, on the trampoline, raiding bikes, all sorts of offline things... just remember to have a healthy balance and to remind him its not real life and its all made up and not winning is no reason to get angry just means there are people playing who make their living doing so and if you really are worried play the game yourself a few times and you will know if your child can handle it in a good way or not

At 7/8 I don't think you are being too sensitive.

My dc are 7, nearly 9 and nearly 11. None of them play fortnite or on x box live (I don't think they actually realise it's a thing yet).

Having seen my friends' son (10, nearly 11) become utterly addicted to fortnite and witnessed some truly awful tantrums over it, I know my own children to know that certainly with one of them it would be a bad thing at their age.

Thankfully they are happy playing Lego based games and minecraft.

My own objection to fortnite is based on the game being a 'kill to survive' game, your opponents being avatars of other people, with from what I've read, little other objective to the game. It's the hunger games on a larger scale! I dislike the idea of encouraging my young children to kill and maim in order to become top dog. I understand strategic thinking is a part of winning but ultimately the aim is everyone else's destruction to ensure you win. I object equally to COD which is much more lifelike in graphics and GTA which takes place in the criminal underworld. The only saving grace for fortnite is that it has taken the focus away from much more adult themed games for far too young children. But I always return to the killing to survive and more lifelike styling than Lego characters or fiction based characters like defeating Voldemort.

I also admit freely to not having a clue how to set up closed groups etc for gameplay on live and am looking into it for the future. I don't feel it's a need at the moment and would sooner my dc invited their friends round and sat together in front of the game where I can keep an eye on them, dealing there and then with any conflict caused by one player causing the other to fail in their mission. With mine I feel distance over love would cause bad feeling to spill into school the next day and I don't feel the schools should have to manage x falling out with y because they killed them in a game at primary level. At secondary level the children are a little older and should be more aware of the effects their actions have.

@SplashingAroundTown - I too avoid play dates with children whose lives are dominated by computer games at that age. Although I do invite them to our house where
Miraculously the game controllers have flat batteries! We have the console but we monitor time strictly and it is balanced with plenty of outdoor time and other activities. Lego bricks are a firm favourite in this house.

You can’t play Fortnite without Xbox live anyway.

wouldn't let a 7 year old play Fortnite or access Xbox Live to be honest. We allow access for the teenagers here but it has to be in the main lounge and not in their bedroom

This

Fortnite also works on a Nintendo switch. DS doesn't have, and won't be getting, an Xbox

We had a safeguarding session with parents at school and asked our conservative primary parents if their children played Fortnite. They mostly said no and were quite shocked when we told them every child on Yr 5 had played it. The usual route was older siblings giving them access or other children whose parents allowed them to play.

Then we had mum's realising why children were becoming so aggressive when their children were told to come off their devices. One lad would spend 4-5 hours daily and was, to quote his mum, "like beast if you turned off the WiFi".

So no, no Fortnite or other killing games at seven.

You can play fortnite on any games console and on an iPad.