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Original poster

Where has my baby gone?

22 replies

hotmessmom82 · 05/04/2019 20:37

In one week my youngest has decided he no longer wants milk and is suddenly dry through the night. Admittedly he was late on both things but it's amazed me how quickly he's made his own decisions on this. I do not want another but its made me weirdly sad. I know I am definitely being unreasonable BTW 😂

OP posts:
Whatsername7 · 05/04/2019 20:40

My youngest is two and we arent having anymore. I suddenly have the overwhelming urge to get a puppy.

Iputthescrewinthetuna · 05/04/2019 20:44

It goes far too fast!
I read the following poem a few years ago, thought I wouldn't be upset about the last time. Now I have my youngest and last DD this poem chokes me.

From the moment you hold your baby in your arms,
you will never be the same.
You might long for the person you were before, 
When you have freedom and time,
And nothing in particular to worry about.

But don’t forget …You will know tiredness like you never knew it before,
And days will run into days that are exactly the same,
Full of feedings and burping,
Nappy changes and crying,
Whining and fighting,
Naps or a lack of naps,
It might seem like a never-ending cycle.
There is a last time for everything.
There will come a time when you will feed
your baby for the very last time.
They will fall asleep on you after a long day
And it will be the last time you ever hold your sleeping child.
One day you will carry them on your hip then set them down,
And never pick them up that way again.
You will scrub their hair in the bath one night
And from that day on they will want to bathe alone.
They will hold your hand to cross the road,
Then never reach for it again.
They will creep into your room at midnight for cuddles,
And it will be the last night you ever wake to this.
One afternoon you will sing “the wheels on the bus”
and do all the actions,
Then never sing them that song again.
They will kiss you goodbye at the school gate,
The next day they will ask to walk to the gate alone.
You will read a final bedtime story and wipe your last dirty face.
They will run to you with arms raised for the very last time.
The thing is, you won’t even know it’s the last time
Until there are no more times.
And even then, it will take you a while to realize.
~ author unknown

TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup · 05/04/2019 20:45

DD is 6 and absolutely an only. She was fairly quick at reaching milestones. I also find myself considering a dog.

Original poster
hotmessmom82 · 05/04/2019 20:47

I'm currently a very good babysitter for a friend with a newborn 🙈

OP posts:
Grumblepants · 05/04/2019 20:53

Omg @iputthescrewinthetuna you are going to break me! I can't cope with poems like that!
My 2 and a half year old has started calling me mum instead of mummy. I'm not ashamed to admit I fought back a tear or two.

hammeringinmyhead · 05/04/2019 21:03

Mine's getting closer to 6 months and I was going to stop breastfeeding but I'm not having more and I don't want to do a "last" feed. Sad

Absofrigginlootly · 05/04/2019 21:09

hammering keep going if you want to! 6 months is still so young. I fed DD until a few weeks of 3 years and DS is 7.5 months and counting. No intention of stopping before 2. It’s the best parenting tool!!! Poorly? Boob. Tired? Boob. Upset? Boob. Hurt? Boob. Overstimulated? Needs to calm down? Boob.

katienana · 05/04/2019 21:14

I changed my last nappy a few weeks ago. I don't feel too sad about that!!! But the other stuff...I was distracted with my first because I had a new baby, now that baby is the age his big brother was when he was born its more poignant.

Inapickle230 · 05/04/2019 21:30

Iputthescrewinthetuna - that actually made me cry. They change so quickly don’t they, I cherish everytime my baby falls asleep in my arms.

hammeringinmyhead · 05/04/2019 21:30

I may continue. I just would really really REALLY like a night where I don't have to do three night feeds. I haven't slept for more than 3.5 hours in a row since September. It shows.

LegoPeopleEverywhere · 05/04/2019 21:38

Am I alone in not really missing the baby stuff? I mean I enjoyed the good bits of it at the time but now the youngest is 4 I'm really enjoying a bit more freedom and space and don't yearn for the baby/toddler years at all, in fact I feel tired/stressed/touched out just rhinkimg about it!

Babdoc · 05/04/2019 21:54

There’s another poem that this thread reminded me of, on the subject of children growing up and not needing us any more. It’s by Khalil Gibran, and is just called Children:
“Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts
For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
Which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward, nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the Archer’s hand be for gladness
For even as he loved the arrow that flies, so He lives also the bow that is stable.”

I enjoyed every stage of my DC’s lives, but I don’t look backwards. They’re now pushing 30, and we have a great relationship as adults.

Babdoc · 05/04/2019 21:56

Loves also the bow , not lives! Stupid autocorrect.

Orchidflower1 · 05/04/2019 21:59

@Babdoc the first poem brought slump to my throat. The one you posted made me properly cry! So beautiful though.

Orchidflower1 · 05/04/2019 21:59

A lump not slump-see still got tears in my eyes!!

winterisstillcoming · 05/04/2019 22:00

I'm the same! Everything is so final and bittersweet with the last child.

I tell my youngest that although his brother had all the firsts, he will have all the lasts which are equally special.

We have a tortoise.

AwdBovril · 05/04/2019 22:05

Iputthescrewinthetuna - that poem made me cry. I still remember the last time I BFed DD, over 6 years ago. I didn't realise that it was going to be the last time until it was done. I cried for days. We probably can't risk having any more DCs. I really don't miss the nappy changing & toilet training stage though!

Babdoc · 06/04/2019 09:52

Orchidflower1, glad you liked the poem. It made me cry too when I first read it! Gibran is Lebanese but wrote his poetry book “The Prophet” in English. I like his imagery of God using us as bows to launch our children into the future, while loving both us and them. And that line about our children dwelling in the house of tomorrow - so true. Their future will go beyond the end of our own lives, and we can’t follow them there. We can only raise them to be good people, and trust them to get on with it, with God’s help.

SoyDora · 06/04/2019 15:20

LegoPeopleEverywhere I feel the same as you! I have 3, they’re 5, 3 and 12 weeks. I have never missed the baby stage, and although I’m cherishing it a bit more with this one as it’s definitely my last I’m still looking forward to him growing up going through all the stages. I enjoy them more and more as they get older!

frugalkitty · 06/04/2019 16:05

My youngest is 11.....I now have a new baby...the cat Grin

Rowgtfc72 · 06/04/2019 16:47

Dd is an only. She is just 12. Today she went into town with her friends for the first time.
That first poem has killed me Sad

Lllot5 · 06/04/2019 19:26

My son is 40 next year. Gone in the blink of an eye.

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