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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Who should have walked in the mud?

27 replies

BreastSideStory · 05/04/2019 13:49

Walking with DS (4) along a narrow path, cars parked along one side and muddy grass on the other side (it’s been raining all morning).
A woman coming towards the playgroup as I’m leaving and well estsblished on the path so she can see we’re coming down it starts hurtling up towards us with her toddler in a pushchair and stops about 2ft in front of us and just stares, I move DS in front of me on the side the cars are parked so we could walk in single file.
She then huffed and called me a rude bitch?!
I was so shocked and said “Excuse me? What on earth is the issue?”
She went on a huge rant about how I was rude because she didn’t want to push her stroller onto the muddy grass.
I’m aghast, so she basically forced her way up the path and expected me and DS to walk in the mud so she barge through?

AIBU to think she was in the wrong? Why the fuck should we have had to walk through a muddy puddle to save her strollers wheels?

OP posts:

sirfredfredgeorge · 05/04/2019 13:53

Whilst the rudeness seems excessive, it is indeed easier for a shod human to go into mud than pushing a small wheeled contrivance. So yes on the normal balance of minimising the total difficulty of everyone, I would've said you should've stepped onto the mud as described.

But of course the response was excessive for you making a different judgement, and it may not have even been the one I would've made seeing the actual place rather than my imagining.

Original poster

BreastSideStory · 05/04/2019 13:54

It wasn’t thick mud that would have been difficult to push a stroller through, it was a muddy puddle. Neither me or DS had wellies on

OP posts:

BlueCornishPixie · 05/04/2019 13:57

I probably would have stood out the way in the mud because it's easier to stand than push something through but there's no right or wrong way. I always think though the person moving out the way moves off the path, because you shouldn't make someone walk in mud. But then I couldn't give a shit if my shoes get muddy.

Her reaction was way ott though

NicoAndTheNiners · 05/04/2019 13:58

So could everyone get through without going in the mud if you walked in single file and you took your time getting into single file? Or did someone have to go in the mud anyway?

If someone had to go in the mud anyway then she should have done as you were in the narrow bit first and she got there when you were already there. If she didn't want to go in the mud she should have waited until you'd come through the narrow bit.

If everyone could get through as long as you and ds were in single file and you didn't do this as she came towards you then I could see that being a bit annoying. The rudeness and swearing in front of small kids is totally uncalled for though.

Original poster

BreastSideStory · 05/04/2019 13:58

I personally think she should have backed up the 4 or so feet she had forced her way down. Or just waited 20 seconds for us to come fully up the path 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP posts:

RosaWaiting · 05/04/2019 13:59

the stroller is much easier to deal with going through the mud.

Original poster

BreastSideStory · 05/04/2019 14:00

@NicoAndTheNiners I moved him over to single file to minimise how much she had to go in the muddy puddle so only the far set of wheels would have had to go in it.
We couldn’t have fit through anyway, it’s a really narrow path

OP posts:

MyKingdomForBrie · 05/04/2019 14:00

She clearly should have waited for you to come up the path if she didn't want to go in the mud, how absolutely rude of her!

Original poster

BreastSideStory · 05/04/2019 14:01

To clarify we moved into single file when I saw her hurtling up the path towards us but she stopped and stared and expected us to stand in the mud to let us pass

OP posts:

Original poster

BreastSideStory · 05/04/2019 14:01

Let *her pass

OP posts:

HarrysOwl · 05/04/2019 14:01

She could have waited a few seconds so you could go around the muddy puddle before ploughing her way through. There's no wrong/right but a bit of give/take is normal.

I'd assume she was having a super bad day from her behaviour and over reaction! Don't let it spoil your day.

Littleduckeggblue · 05/04/2019 14:02

I personally would have moved.
If it was a wheelchair would you have moved?

PregnantSea · 05/04/2019 14:03

I don't think there was a difinitive right or wrong here, it's just one of those things. It was definitely wrong of her to call you a rude bitch though, especially in front of little ones. Let's hope she gets a lump of coal in her stocking come Christmas.

Original poster

BreastSideStory · 05/04/2019 14:04

@Littleduckeggblue yes of course, because wheelchairs are used inside and I would have facilitated the wheels not getting muddy.
She could have just waited a few seconds or backed up a couple of feet, but instead huffed and tried to force her way down a path that was too narrow as people were already on it

OP posts:

Lllot5 · 05/04/2019 14:05

She could’ve waited just because she has a buggy doesn’t give her right of way. Ignore her.

Original poster

BreastSideStory · 05/04/2019 14:07

@Lllot5 my thoughts exactly. I don’t understand why she thought keeping the wheels of her stroller out of the water was more important than my young DS keeping his feet dry.
Her wheels would suffer no discomfort and she chose to create that situation

OP posts:

Namelessinseattle · 05/04/2019 14:07

There is a whole world of difference between a stroller and a wheelchair

MaMaMaMySharona · 05/04/2019 14:10

@Namelessinseattle exactly!

I think she should have waited. Calling you a 'rude bitch' is completely unnecessary and for that alone I would have made her go through the puddle. What a dick!

Sockwomble · 05/04/2019 14:20

I would give way to a buggy or wheelchair because it is usually easier to clean shoes than wheels ( ds uses an sn buggy). In the situation you describe I would have waited till you had come down the path since you were clearly on it first so she was wrong in not waiting.

Original poster

BreastSideStory · 05/04/2019 14:32

@Sockwomble really? I always found the opposite is true. Stroller on it’s side and a wipe of the wheels, all of 1mins effort 🤷🏼‍♀️
School shoes on the other hand need a proper clean and polish

OP posts:

mrsm43s · 05/04/2019 14:43

I'm not that either of you has the right of way over the other. You were presumably both on the footpath - I'm not sure about your "hurtling towards you" comments - presumably you'd still have had to pass each other at some point on the footpath? And presumably its mud on one side/cars on the other for its whole length?

If mud could be avoided by you passing her single file, then that's what you should have done. I'm presuming she stopped her buggy 2 feet away from you to allow you to pass round her single file. She can't make her buggy any narrower than it is and pass around you?. I also think walking on a muddy surface is much easier than pushing a buggy through it, and shoes are much easier to clean than buggy wheels! I can't quite picture the situation though, so I might be misreading it.

That said, there was no need for rudeness or confrontation from either of you. I suspect (due to her "hurtling") she was running late and stressed out. Doesn't excuse her rudeness, mind.

Original poster

BreastSideStory · 05/04/2019 15:12

@mrsm43s to answer a few questions.

The hurtling comment was because she saw me from a distance before she started up the path and proceeded to come towards us at speed.

Seeing she wasn’t going to wait I made sure DS and I were as narrow on the path as I could by moving over as far as we could to the side the cars were.

She stopped 2ft away because she expected us to completely stand in the puddle so she could pass.

And lastly no we didn’t have to pass at all on the path if she hadn’t forced her way up the narrow path which was already occupied, she could simply have waited 20 seconds or so.

The “whole length” of the path is about 25ft, not a long one.

It was a muddy puddle, not a muddy bog that a stroller couldn’t have easily been pushed through

OP posts:

Rottencooking · 05/04/2019 15:27

She was the rude bitch

Original poster

BreastSideStory · 05/04/2019 15:30

Also there’s nothing to run late for at the playgroup, I left one session early and the next session (which I’m assuming she was going to) didn’t start for 15mins.

In all honesty having a bad day or running late are no excuse to swear and be unpleasant to people. We’ve all had days like that, I’ve never spoken to someone in that way or acted entitled like that

OP posts:

nutsfornutella · 05/04/2019 18:41

I disagree that buggy wheels are harder to clean than shoes but I have the luxury of a garden hose to squirt them and we often go out more than once a day so wet and muddy shoes are more of an inconvenience for me.

Surely she only waited a minute or two ? Calling you a bitch in front of your son is a massive over reaction from her but I'll be told that she's probably had a bad day so not to judge

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